


A Well Developed Sense of Self Preservation

by EAbbene



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Extramarital Affairs, F/M, First Love, Secret Children, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:01:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 70,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24776569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EAbbene/pseuds/EAbbene
Summary: After the War, Pansy Parkinson left England for France and didn't look back. Now, she's a top healer, a great mum, and still a Slytherin at heart. She can't resist the temptation when she's asked back to Hogwarts as Matron. Can she resist the temptation of the man from her past when he shows up? Hogwarts has a way of bringing out secrets, and this snake has more than a few.
Relationships: Hannah Abbott/Neville Longbottom, Neville Longbottom/Pansy Parkinson
Comments: 10
Kudos: 78





	1. A Longing that Never Quiets

**Author's Note:**

> This is a reposting of my first Pansy-Nev from FF.net

_"I am constantly surprised by the longing for you that never quiets."_

_~Tyler Knott Gregson_

Even years later, she still thought about it. Late at night with the darkness as her company, the memories would creep into her mind. She was fairly certain no one else remembered that time quite like she did. Memories of him were like the memory of the warmth of the sun on your face in the middle of winter. She could remember essentially what it felt like, but it had been a long time.

She'd dreamed about him last night, actually. She'd slept in the on-call room, on a lumpy bed that smelled of antiseptic and despair. Scents very familiar to her. She'd fallen into the bed, exhausted, and in a moment of extreme weakness, had allowed herself to imagine his lanky warm body curling around hers, his arms solid and warm, a respite from the terrible blood filled day she'd just experienced. She'd fallen asleep immediately, and her fantasy had carried over into her dreams.

It was always dark and vague in her dreams, and hot, always stifling hot. It's funny how it was always so hot, when they'd never spent a summer together. Not really. But in her dreams, his breath would be flames against her neck like dragon fire, his lips burning like the steaming water in the prefects bathroom, his hands trails of fire. Inevitably, she woke covered in cold sweat, the sheets tangled about her, and feeling restless and unsatisfied. At least it wasn't every night anymore, sometimes she could go a week, maybe two without dreaming of him. She'd dressed and stalked out of the bedchamber irritably, snapping at the first person she saw, a poor innocent first year resident who had merely been the wrong place at the wrong time.

More vividly than their time together, she could remember the end. Remembering the end came first, feelings of shame and regret mingling with the tiny voice wishing she could have some satisfaction in throwing the truth in everyone's faces hoping they would at least show some understanding. Remembering the end usually made her start thinking about the beginning.

Looking at the letter in her hand made her think about the very beginning, before him, before them, before the after.

_Dear Ms. Parkinson,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been offered a position at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as Matron. Please find the enclosed contract details._

_Term begins September 1st. We await your owl no later than July 1st._

_Yours Sincerely,_

_Minerva McGonagall_

_Headmistress_

The recent letter was in the same silly green ink as the first. Ink she could remember on her Transfiguration Essays and more than one or two detention slips. Flipping it over, she glanced through the list of benefits, including room and board in the Matron Quarters off the hospital wing, a three bedroom apartment and a personal house elf. The salary was more than she made at Hôpital Universitaire Flamel. Idly twirling a dark curl around her finger, she looked around the tiny attic apartment she had occupied in Paris for the past eight years. The pale gray walls were as depressing as usual, her attempts to spruce the place up having fallen flat years ago when she realized the lighting would always be dim and dreary. A thud and a muffled shout down the hall was what made her decision.

It was time to go back. She hadn't stepped foot in England past Parkview's gates for eight years. It had certainly been long enough for the memories of her enemies to fade. Draco was practically universally adored and headed his own research team at St. Mungo's now. As far as she knew, the war was an old sweater at the back of everyone's closet anymore. A constant presence and part of the fabric of everyone's memory, but not something you wore every day. Besides, if McGonagall was offering her a job at Hogwarts, she was surely absolved of anything that occurred nearly a decade ago. Draco had been trying to convince her to come to St. Mungo's for years, but it never felt right.

It was time to spend more time with her family and less time at the hospital working 27 hour shifts in the Pediatric Emergency Ward. Her skin was constantly pale and the dark circles under her eyes a permanent fixture of her appearance. Her memories of the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts were much more relaxed. That bay of windows overlooking the entire grounds letting in more light than most sleeping patients preferred. Besides, who could argue with summers and holidays off?

And most of all, there was the argument that she wanted to go back. She missed the crisp English air, the echo of her heels in the dungeon corridors, laying in a hammock…. She couldn't have the Hogwarts of her youth back, but returning might bring at least some of it back.

A high pitched shriek caused her to pinch the bridge of her thin upturned nose. "Nicolas Napoleon Parkinson!" A cherubic blonde head appeared around the corner, a look of pure innocence plastered on his chubby cheeked face. "If you don't stop taunting your sister, you will not be going WizScout camp, and I will be sending you to Grandmother's for the two weeks instead."

"Mum!" he protested in a weak voice, his lower lip pushing out and exposing his slightly buck teeth, making him look far less angelic.

"Dahlia?" called Pansy, setting the letter aside. "What's all the shrieking about? Come out now. Let's hear your bit." A thin, pale girl crept into the hallway with much less exuberance than her brother had minutes ago. Her thin face looked more pinched than usual, her violet eyes looking a little on the watery side. Her usual mahogany curls were a shocking orange, revealing the reason for the shrieks.

"I can't turn it back," mumbled the girl, a frown further pinching her features.

"I didn't mean to mum!" protested Nicolas. "I was just teasing her about being a Cannons fan, and it just happened!"

Pansy sighed and waved her wand, restoring her daughter's hair to its usual dark brown. "Please be a little nicer. You know you're just upset because Auntie Tori is taking Dahlia to a professional quidditch match while you are at camp."

"I am a little jealous. I bet they even have special box seats," confessed Nico. "Sorry Dahlia."

"It's okay. I'll try and get a souvenir for you. If I ask, I know Uncle Drake will get me a Falcon's Jersey for you."

Pansy rolled her eyes. "You shouldn't take advantage of your uncle Draco. Although Merlin knows he can afford it." Her daughter sent Pansy such a self satisfied look of premeditated manipulation that Pansy nearly laughed. That would be another benefit of moving back to England. She would see much more of Draco and Astoria, and Merlin knows she needed their support.

"Who's the owl from?" Nico demanded, rushing up and thrusting his pale little fist in front of the bird before fearlessly patting the thing on the head. It never failed to shock Pansy how little self preservation her son possessed.

"Nico, you should always introduce yourself slowly to magical creatures you haven't met," she scolded. "You wouldn't want to end up like the Horrible Little Boy who was mauled by a Hippogriff."

"That's why my mum is a Healer," Nico declared loftily while Dahlia approached the bird more slowly and was rewarded with a gentle nuzzle from the bird. Her son had never been one for cautionary tales, but her daughter listened. Pansy was happy to see Dahlia's gentle patience rewarded when the bird hopped on her shoulder and tugged a dark lock of hair, causing the seven year old to giggle.

"You've made a friend," laughed Pansy. "This is an owl from Hogwarts."

"Why is it here? Am I being accepted early!?" exclaimed Nico, eagerly reaching for the letter.

"Of course not silly," Pansy swooped the letter out of his hands and banished it to her bedroom with a flick of her wand. "I've been offered a job there. We'll be moving back to England shortly after you get home from WizScout Camp. I've decided."

"Are we going to live with Grandmother Violet!?" demanded Nico a look of pure terror on his face, while Dahlia seemed to forget how to breathe and had a coughing fit.

"Merlin no! We'll be living at Hogwarts." The delighted squeals made Pansy smile internally, while outwardly she summoned some paper to begin making a list of things she would need to do in the next two months. Packing up two seven year olds and moving them to a different country wasn't going to be easy. But she had done it before.

* * *

_Eight Years Prior: The After.  
June 1998_

The minute her name was clear of the report calling the accused to trial, Pansy heaved a sigh of relief. The month since the battle had been more than a little stressful. She and her mother had sequestered themselves at Parkview Manor, her mother mostly containing herself to her gardens, and Pansy to the library where she had studied for her NEWTs. With her name officially in the clear, she would be free to petition for a private sitting of her NEWTs, an expensive but necessary undertaking.

Two weeks later, she packed her things into her Hogwarts trunk that had a handy extension charm on it. An entire life in a trunk. Without any charges against her by the Ministry and her NEWTs behind her, she was finally free to do as she liked, which did not include spending another minute in this manor.

"I hope you know that you've compromised not only yourself, but your inheritance as well," sniffed her mother from the doorway.

"I'm sure it will be mine soon enough," she sighed, once again wondering why her mother was bothering to pretend she should stay. Ever since she'd broken the news that she was pregnant the day before, her mother had vacillated between rage, horror, sadness, and surprisingly joy. Rage that her daughter dishonor the family name by becoming pregnant out of wedlock, and horror that Pansy was refusing to admit who the father was. Sadness that her daughter would be outcast from society and she would lose status as well, and joy that at least the Parkinson name might continue (it was a pureblood right?).

"Over my dead body!" snapped Violet Parkinson.

"Well… yes, if you die before I turn thirty of course. Everything naturally passes to me at your death mother. Otherwise my inheritance simply comes to me ten years late, rather than when I am twenty as previously dictated in father's will." Violet either chose to ignore the sarcastic remark or didn't hear over her continued rant.

"You can't mean to go off to France all by yourself!"

"Well… I don't think it quite possible to be completely alone for the next six or seven months mother," intoned Pansy, cupping her ever so slightly rounded abdomen.

"What are you even going to do in Paris?"

"Pending my NEWT results, I am hoping to get into Healer training. The Healing Academy at the Hôpital Universitaire Flamel starts in August. Draco and I were always going to go to Healer Training together, and I'm not going to set my dreams aside just because of a few little hiccups." Draco's application had been rejected before he even had the opportunity to apply to sit his NEWTs. Draco would have to sit trial, and likely have some sort of consequences. Their dream of being a crack healing team completely ruined.

"Maybe Draco would marry you? It's not as if any of the other families would have a Malfoy now. Marrying a disgraced Malfoy is better than having a bastard child!"

"Me marrying a Malfoy isn't going to help you save any face in your social circles. I'm well and truly ruined, and the Malfoys are personas non-grata anyways. You don't need even tell your friends what has happened. By the time I'm in France they will have forgotten me. No one in England will hear about my _bastard_ child unless you're the one telling them."

"It was just a thought," huffed Violet Parkinson, her brilliant violet eyes flashing with irritation. "Well, I won't disown you if that was what you were after. I'm certain you will alert me when the birth is nearing, so I can… be there."

"Of course mother," agreed Pansy, engulfing her mother in a tight embrace. If nothing else was true of a good Pureblooded mother, family always came first. "I'll expect you in early December."

Pansy had taken that trunk, shrunk every belonging she needed into it, and taken a muggle train across the English Channel to find herself in France three days later. Her NEWT results and acceptance letter to the healing academy found her at the small seaside cottage she had rented for the rest of the summer. She had spent the next month and a half absorbing the rays of the sun and 'growing' her bump.

The Pansy that arrived at healer training was tanned, relaxed, and very much pregnant. At five months, she was already showing quite a bit. Her fellow trainees seemed shocked and snickered behind her back until she proved that she was the best of them all. She had been working toward becoming a healer since was thirteen years old and had sat in the hospital wing with Draco as Madame Pomfrey healed his arm from Buckbeak. In fact, in the past year, she had probably done more healing than most of her classmates had ever even observed.

Having grown up speaking French almost as much as she spoke English, the transition to life in Paris was not difficult. She had found a small two bedroom apartment walking distance from the hospital since it would be dangerous to apparate when her pregnancy progressed further. The grey walls and white woodwork had seemed a clean slate for her to write her story on. Mostly her story was takeout boxes littering the countertops and falling asleep on the sofa when she was too tired to fall into bed, and coffee tables literally made of books.

It wasn't until she finally conceded to find a healer of her own and found out that her overly large bump was in fact twins that she started taking care of herself. Which basically meant that Violet Parkinson sent a house elf to live with her and tidy the apartment and make sure she slept in her bed and ate at least two meals a day.

When Nicolas Napoleon and Dahlia Marielle Parkinson arrived on a stormy December evening, Pansy was just glad her end of term exams were complete and she had finally achieved her lifelong goal of topping the class. She had to admit that without Hermione Granger or Draco around to provide competition, it was a little dull.

With the birth falling perfectly between terms, Pansy couldn't have planned the twins first month of life better if she had tried. Violet Parkinson had moved to France for duration, planning to stay as long as Pansy would let her.

This worked out well. The following semester they had started working on specialties and Pansy had delighted her professors with her natural aptitude for pediatric medicine, being especially talented in interacting with young patients calmly during a treacherous time. She couldn't exactly tell them that the worst cases she had seen hadn't even been in France. Within two years, Pansy was a Resident Healer in the Pernelle Flamel Pediatric Ward, and Violet Parkinson was finally back in England where she belonged, bragging about her beautiful talented daughter to anyone who would listen.

Five years later, Pansy was still a Senior Resident Healer in the Pernelle Flamel Pediatric Ward. Her status as an English outsider made it difficult to worm her way into special projects. Despite graduating top of her class, she had been overlooked for a promotion to Head of Ward in favor of the nephew of one of the Hospital's board of directors.

Her previous mentor, Healer LeClaire was the one who had reached out to Professor McGonagall when she heard through the grapevine that Poppy Pomfrey was retiring for good. Pansy hadn't even known to apply, and when her friend had mentioned that she had put Pansy on a short list for Hogwarts Matron, she had laughed. Hogwarts wouldn't be taking her back any time soon. And then that dratted eagle owl had shown up and she was moving right back to where this mess started.

* * *

"You're completely nutters, Pans. You can't be serious about this? I mean, moving back to England, I understand. We _did_ just cinch the World Cup, who _doesn't_ want part of the glory? But Hogwarts? Father isn't a governor any longer. They'll eat you alive! If you wanted a job, you should have come to me!"

"Honestly Draco, I thought we agreed you wouldn't try to meddle in my life anymore," drawled an unamused Pansy inspecting her nails.

"That was before you decided to take this job! Pothead and Weasel are going to go ballistic the moment they hear about this. You think it's a coincidence that I _don't_ work in a department at Mungo's where they're regular patients? Pothead has one for Hogwarts in less than five years! He'll go spare if he hears you're the new matron!"

"Is Pothead a governor now?"

"Well, no," began Draco before she interrupted him.

"Then we'll just have to make sure he _doesn't_ get wind of this. Besides, he's the one who overthrew the last megalomaniac who took over society, he doesn't have any right to become one himself."

"I'm just saying, what he says, typically goes around here. I know you've been on the Continent, but…"

"But _nothing_ Draco. I don't see what you're so up in arms about it anyways."

"It's just so _boring_ ," he whined, taking a sip of his tumbler. "You could join my research team, you could get a job heading a department at Mungo's. Madame Pomfrey lead literally the most boring life on the planet, surely you want more than that!?"

"In case you hadn't realized, I _deserve_ a little boring. Besides, being a mum means my days are never boring. And I like Hogwarts, and pediatric healing is my calling. I've never been one to have my name on flashy new potions or spells, you know me. But, you never really knew Poppy, she is fascinating!" protested Pansy.

"What are you going to do when _he_ finds out you're back?"

"I don't have the faintest who you are talking about, and even if I did, which I do not, I don't know how he'd know I'm back and or care," she snapped, turning to look out the window at Astoria's gardens.

"Tall, dark, objectively handsome, if you swing that way, which I don't," started Draco ticking off his fingers with each point. "Can't perform a proper contraceptive charm, apparently."

"I know you like to think you know things Draco Malfoy, but there's a reason you weren't a ravenclaw."

"I know lots of things, even if you like to _pretend_ I don't. And I don't know what you expect me to tell him, when we're practically best friends! He was the best man in my bloody wedding!"

"I don't know why. Which is probably why I couldn't come…" muttered Pansy under her breath.

"What… was that a confession!?"

"I said I don't know why you insist I procreated with that idiot bum," she replied innocently.

"Okay, so let's pretend the two of you didn't shag all over the school and pull a Weasley. Shall I tell him you're back in town with your illegitimate love children? I'm sure you wouldn't have any sort of problems with that."

"That would be a much bigger problem if I hadn't sworn you to secrecy under penalty of death by wizarding oath before I told you I was pregnant," retorted Pansy. "That was a pitiful attempt at blackmail, Draco, even for you. We always knew you didn't have it in you, but honestly? Threatening blackmail when you're under an unbreakable? Really? Boarder line pathetic."

"Sometimes, I think you were the best slytherin of us all," pouted Draco in his typical way.

"Well, I've always had a well developed sense of self preservation," she smirked.

* * *

Pansy adjusted her small blue hat so it sat at a jaunty angle on her curls before smoothing her matching peacock blue short robes. Turning, she watched Nico and Dahlia pop through the floo holding hands, mother having sent them through right after. Nico coughed and sputtered loudly, not having mastered the art of holding one's breath while traveling via floo and Dahlia brushed off her lavender dress. Waving her wand to siphon off the soot, Pansy hurried them out of Three Broomsticks before Madame Rosmerta could spot her. Being in public made her nervous, and she wasn't exactly anxious to run into anyone she knew quite yet. The past three days in England had been enough, thank you very much.

Taking their hands, she slipped the oversized leather bag that carried literally all of their worldly possessions (undetectable expansion charm, quite clever) over her shoulder. Nicolas was still raving about how much fun he had had at WizScout Camp. Playing quidditch, learning to swim, sleeping out doors, he had been particularly gleeful about peeing in the bushes. Pansy and Dahlia had spent the weeks updating their wardrobe and going to the seaside since Pansy had taken leave ahead of her job transition.

Arriving at Hogsmeade train station, Pansy immediately spotted the thestrel drawn carriage waiting for them. Lifting them into the carriage as they exclaimed over the magical transportation, she glanced nervously at the thestrel, something she hadn't seen since the last time she was in England. Setting her bag on the floor with a clunk, she took the backward facing seat and watched the twins as they huddled at the window to observe the castle come into view.

"We're going to live there?" whispered Dahlia in awe.

"Look it's a quidditch pitch!"

"Can we swim in the lake?"

"Are there monsters in the lake, or did Uncle Drake make that up?"

"Look at the towers!"

"Can we live in the tallest one?"

"Like Rapunzel!"

Pansy laughed internally before she tried to answer some of their questions. "We're going to live on the east side of the castle, in the hospital wing, and we can swim in the lake when it is nice. There is a giant squid in the lake, but he's rather friendly, and maybe you can live in a tower when you're older."

The carriage pulled up to the castle, and the twins tumbled out before Pansy could stop them. The grounds were lush and green, full Scottish summer blooming around them, and the castle looked straight out of a fairy tale. She hurried after them as they headed up the steps where the doors were already open wide to let in the fresh air.

Walking into the entry, she tried to take it in from a seven year old's point of view, the massive stair cases, the huge hourglasses filled with glittering gems, the banners and portraits decorating the walls, murmuring. She hadn't been here in years, and logically, she knew the castle had been battered by war, but it seemed the same as ever.

"Come along, children," she tutted, breezing past their stunned forms and taking the first flight of stairs that she knew would lead to the headmistress's office. She smirked internally as she heard the patter of their feet behind her.

"Mummy, wait for us!" Dahlia exclaimed, her hand latching onto Pansy's.

"I just know I'm going to get lost," came Nico's mournful sigh. "This place is even bigger than Grandmother's house."

"You'll have the layout of it soon. I lived here for seven years, and there are still places I might get lost, but we'll mostly be in our apartments, which will be much smaller."

"Good," said Nico so seriously that a nearby portrait laughed aloud. Luckily the twins were used to nosy portraits from staying with their Grandmother for a week or so every summer. Pansy wondered what they would think of the Hogwarts Ghosts.

Rounding the corner, she came upon the Headmaster's office more suddenly than she remembered, not that she had ever spent much time here, the only times of note when Umbridge had recruited her for the Inquisitorial Squad fifth year and she had been asked to spy on the headmaster. Honestly, she had spent most of that time making out with her boyfriend in the private alcove in the charms corridor. Pulling to a stop, she eyed the gargoyle statue guarding the staircase. Professor McGonagall hadn't offered a password, merely said to meet her in her office at half two.

"Hello, Pansy Parkinson to see the Headmistress?" she tried. With a groan, the statue rolled aside, and a staircase revealed. Pansy pulled the twins with her into the staircase and headed up to the office. Rapping sharply on the door, a call to enter came from the other side. Taking a deep breath, Pansy suddenly felt the overwhelming sensation of stepping into a new chapter of her life.


	2. Life went on without you

_"Life went on without you._

_Of course it did._

_Of course, it does._

_It was just an ending, they tell me,_

_not the end."_

_~Lang Leav, Collision_

Stepping into the brightly lit office, Pansy glanced around curiously, having never been granted entry before. Her first thought was to hold tighter to the hands she was holding as there were too many breakable objects for two seven year olds to be curious about. Her second thought was that Professor McGonagall looked exactly the same.

"Good afternoon Professor," she said with a polite smile.

"Miss Parkinson," she said looking first to Pansy over the rims of her square glasses and then looking at both of the twins individually.

"Professor McGonagall, let me introduce Nicolas and Dahlia Parkinson. Nicolas, Dahlia, this is Professor McGonagall, Headmistress of Hogwarts, and a very talented witch."

"Pleased to meet you, Professor McGonagall," chimed the twins, each performing a bow or curtsy just like they would for their grandmother or one of her friends.

"Lovely to meet you both," replied Professor McGonagall with an inclination of her head. "Perhaps you would like to play outside while your mother and I discuss some boring details of her new job?"

Nicolas looked eager while Dahlia looked to her mother in askance.

"You would enjoy that, wouldn't you?" asked Pansy, prompting them to nod obediently. Momentarily, a house elf appeared with a pop.

"Winky to take the children for a walk on the grounds, Mistress," the elf announced.

"Thank you," said Pansy passing off the children who looked excited at the prospect of exploring the grounds and getting a chance to play outside, something they hadn't had much experience with in Paris. "Make sure you listen to Winky," she told the twins, looking especially hard at Nico. "She will be reporting back to me on your behavior."

"Yes, Mummy," they chimed before following the elf with a skip in their steps. Pansy hoped that Winky had more experience with adventurous children than her mother's elves who couldn't mind the twins for more than a few minutes without the twins wreaking some sort of havoc.

Professor McGonagall interrupted her thoughts, "Have a seat Pansy."

"Thank you." She took a seat, taking a moment to smooth her skirt before looking up into the professor's knowing green eyes.

"I was surprised to hear from Healer LeClaire that you had obtained your HAREs in pediatrics, and were a Senior resident Healer at Flamel's. The news out of France is rarely broadcast on this side of the channel."

"It was my lifelong ambition since third year. I had interned with Madame Pomfrey since fifth year, and I've spoken French since I was two. I might have even had an easier time of it in France to be honest."

"I never knew that about you as a student."

"Transfiguration NEWTs are required for Healing, but I have always been more interested in the charms and potions aspects of healing. Professor Sprout was actually my career counselor, rather than you."

"Pomona never said anything all these years, not that we've been discussing you regularly, but we often discuss past students. Until that letter of recommendation I hire you, I hadn't heard from you in years."

"I'm pleasantly surprised to be here, to be honest. I've been considering moving back to England for some time, and this seemed the best opportunity. I want the sort of childhood Nicolas and Dahlia will look back on fondly. Me working 27 hours while they sit around our Parisian apartment with the Au Pair doesn't exactly provide that."

"Yes, I hadn't realized you were bringing a family."

Pansy's mask fell. "I didn't even mention them did I?" She reached for the professor's hand before pulling back in embarrassment. "When the letter said three bedroom family apartments were included with the position, I thought Joanna had told you…" Pansy broke off, blinking back tears pooling in her eyes. What an embarrassing thing to occur, uproot your entire life only to find…

"Oh dear, I think you misunderstand. Nicolas and Dahlia are perfectly welcome. They won't be the first or the last children of staff raised at Hogwarts. In fact, they might be good company for Professor Flint and Professor Bork's boys."

"You've hired Marcus to teach magic to children?!" exclaimed Pansy, completely thrown off guard.

"Merlin no! He's the flying instructor! His wife is our new astronomy teacher."

"Well, I can't exactly see him teaching potions. That's for sure. At least he can do a good job preventing flying injuries. I'm not sure anyone was ever injured at a single practice he ran, and considering the boys on that team it was an accomplishment," speculated Pansy before noticing the look on McGonagall's face.

"You know what Pansy? You don't mind if I call you Pansy, do you?" Pansy shook her head. "Good, you can call me Minerva. You're the first person who's agreed with my decision to hire Marcus without reserve. I think we're going to get along splendidly. Would you like a ginger newt?" And with that Pansy felt approved of and genuinely liked by the Headmistress.

By dinner, Pansy had led the children to the hospital wing where they were not impressed with the large ward, but were happy to climb the stairs that led to the tower above and explore their new apartments, two stories of rooms making up the short tower that overlooked the quidditch pitch. There was a common room with a large kitchen and a dining room and a family room that overlooked the quidditch pitch and the Forest. Upstairs, there were three bedrooms, two smaller bedrooms jutting off the main tower, and a larger bedroom taking up half the upstairs while the other half served as a space which Pansy envisioned as a large playroom and schoolroom for the twins.

Winky had been assigned as their personal family elf, something that delighted the elf to no end as she had been without a family for some time and according to Minerva, quite distressed about it at regular intervals. Pansy skipped dinner in the great hall, allowing Winky to cook for the twins and spending the evening unpacking the twins rooms, setting up the two smaller bedrooms to her liking. The twins had always shared a room, and she secretly wondered whose bed they would end up in tonight. This would be good practice for the future when they were inevitably sorted into different houses.

By one am, she was exhausted and fell into bed, worrying already about the task of organizing the hospital wing with only a week left before school started.

In her bed, in the dark of the night was when she finally allowed herself to think of him, and today, she couldn't help but remember vividly when it all started. She could practically smell the first time she saw him come into the hospital wing, his nose bloodied and a limp in his step.

* * *

_Eleven Years Earlier: October 1995_

"Please tell me you didn't fall into a trick step again?" demanded Madame Pomfrey looking up from the textbook she and Pansy had been going over. Pansy had been interning with her for the first few months of fifth year. She had dropped Care of Magical Creatures just to have the free period to work in the Infirmary.

"Oh come on Poppy! I haven't done that since at least third year. Did you know there's a hidden secret passage on the fifth floor?" Pansy bit her lip to prevent smirking at the thought of a third year getting stuck in the trick stair.

"Oh dear… The one that goes all the way to the dungeons?" asked Madame Pomfrey.

"That would be the one. Wasn't paying attention and would have simply bumped into a solid wall, but ended up taking quite the tumble in the dark no less. Professor McGonagall took one look at me in transfiguration and sent me here."

"Perhaps if you didn't miss so many of her classes, you might have better marks," chided Madame Pomfrey waving her wand and vanishing the blood on Longbottom's face before jabbing her wand with an Episky.

"Tell that to my gran," sighed Neville before noticing Pansy sitting quietly in the corner. "Hi Pansy. Are you alright?"

"Oh, no, Miss Parkinson is my new Intern!"

"That's great! Poppy's been right lonely since Clearwater had to quit interning when she made head girl," joked Longbottom. "Say, you haven't picked a plant for your Herbology Report have you?"

Pansy pursed her lips in confusion. Since when were she and gryffindors civil? Not that she had ever had much interaction with Longbottom. "You should do Poison Heart Pansies, fits doesn't it?"

Pansy felt her jaw drop in shock. How rude! This was why she didn't speak to gryffindors unless required.

"Let's have a look at your head, Neville," suggested Madame Pomfrey. "I'm wondering if your nose isn't the only thing you bumped.

Pansy had been somewhat mollified when she and the madame determined that the idiot gryffindork had concussed himself. Administering him the foul smelling Brain Bruise Brew was particularly satisfying. She was doing her potions homework when he woke up an hour later.

"How did I manage to end up here?" she heard him mutter to himself.

"You fell through the passageway on the fifth floor that slides down to the dungeons," she supplied, drawing his notice.

"That's right. And then McGonagall wouldn't let me stay in class and sent me here. I was rude to you," he remembered. He ran his hand through his thick dark brown hair, feeling tenderly for a bump.

"It's alright. Most people are," she conceded with a shrug. She wasn't exactly miss popular outside of her own house. She'd heard it all, Pug Face, Puppet Parkinson, Sour Puss, Kneasle face, the Slytherin Slut. Being Draco's best friend hadn't exactly won over her peers lately, not that she'd courted their favor in years past.

She wasn't here to make friends. She was here to earn enough NEWTs to get into a healing program, and eventually win a Flamel award for something amazing. Preferably before Hermione Granger beat her to it like everything else.

"Still. I apologize, Pansy. Although, Poison Heart Pansies are really rather interesting. And they have quite the healing properties, contrary to their name. They would make for a rather interesting project and they would probably grow really well down in the Slytherin dorms. The filtered light from the lake would probably be perfect."

"How do you know what the slytherin dorm lights are like?"

"I tutored one of the Farley sisters last year. We grew an excellent Amazonian Fire Forest Grass. She got top marks in the class. The lighting in her dorm made all the difference."

"You mean before she burned down the third year dormitory?" Pansy asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well… yes. You heard about that?" asked Neville looking a little guilty.

"Everyone heard about that. We had to evacuate the entire Slytherin House at three in the morning. Where she got the idea that it would be brilliant to cross pollinate fire grass with Snapdragons is beyond me!" The resulting bloom, which had occurred in the middle of the night had been a disaster.

"I merely mentioned it might be interesting! I didn't think she'd take it upon herself to do it! That's not exactly something I would expect of a third year!"

"Oh Merlin, I should have guessed you were behind that as well. It had Longbottom Disaster written all over it!"

"Oh good! You're awake!" announced Madame Pomfrey entering the room and interrupting the argument. Neville shot Pansy a glare as if to say this isn't over.

"And right as rain. I had best get going if I want to make it on time to Herbology," announced Neville, springing off the bed and grabbing his bag. "Thanks for helping me feel better, Madame Pomfrey, Pansy."

"How is he not a Hufflepuff?" asked Pansy with a shake of her head, gathering her things for Herbology as well. She didn't plan on being early like Longbottom, but the greenhouses were about as far from the Hospital Wing as you could get.

"Gryffindors look before they leap, take risks and rely on their intuition. They are chivalrous and don't back down. That boy is the best embodiment of those traits I have seen in a while. Unfortunately it makes him more accident prone than anyone else in this entire school."

"What house were you in, Madame?"

"Ravenclaw," she answered shaking her head. "I would have been the top of my year too, if it hadn't been for that know it all in Gryffindor."

"We have one too."

* * *

By September first, Pansy had finally organized the hospital wing to her liking. The students would no doubt notice a change the first time they stepped into the ward, the canvas brown curtains of the Pomfrey era replaced with gold and purple curtains partitioning the beds. She had gone through the potion stores and thrown away quite a bit of outdated stock before sending for additional potions that she didn't have time to brew herself.

Meanwhile, the twins spent their days tromping over the grounds and exploring the castle, always easily found by Winky who could be summoned at the sound of her name. The sole incident being an afternoon when the twins were stranded on the seventh floor and unable to catch a moving staircase back and had to call for the elf to get them un-lost in time for dinner.

Pansy met Flint and his wife Austrina Bork, whose son Gregor from her first marriage was only a few years older than the twins at 10. They also had two younger sons, but they were a bit young for the twins to play with yet.

Gregor and the twins were soon running about the grounds with Fluffy on their heels while their parents sat in all-staff meetings preparing for the students to arrive.

"We're expecting a decent sized first year class, one of our last crops of prewar babies. The prefects are all expected to be able to handle things. I'm particularly pleased with my selections for Headboy and Headgirl this year. Headboy is to be Ravenclaw Justin Headricks, and Headgirl is Septina Flourish, Slytherin. New staff members this year include Parvati Patel, our new Divination Professor, and Pansy Parkinson, our new Matron."

Pansy glanced over her shoulder to see that one of the Patel Twins was indeed sitting toward the back of the room. She raised her eyebrows in surprise at seeing Pansy, and Pansy surmised she was the Gryffindor one. The Ravenclaw one had always been the clever one.

Pansy made her way from the staff meeting on the fifth floor toward the hospital wing. The twins and Winky had been planning a picnic and a swim in the lake for the afternoon, and if she grabbed her suit, it was likely nice enough to join them for swimming before dinner. They had staked out a secluded spot on the lake behind the greenhouses a few days ago. She turned a corner and nearly plowed into the short stout form of the new divination teacher. Taking a step back, she retreated as her former classmate advanced.

"What are you really doing here Parkinson?" she demanded, her wand at Pansy's throat.

Glancing sideways back down the corridor, Pansy silently wished she was a little closer to that secret passage that you could slip into and shortcut to the dungeons. Chances were Patel didn't know about it and she could make a run for it.

"Minerva hired me to staff the hospital wing," Pansy replied calmly. She'd been threatened by an irate parent before. Surely Patel would see sense.

"Why? What makes you qualified to do that and not murder us all in our sleep?"

"I've been a healer at Hôpital Universitaire Flamel in France for the past eight years. I've been a HARE certified Pediatric specialist for the past six. I don't like what you're implying about my past. You might be able to see the future, but I don't know you're qualified to speculate about my past."

Patel propped her hand on her hip and thrust her wand more forcefully against Pansy's neck. "That's enough chit-chat Parkinson." Without further warning, Patel reached out and cupped Pansy's forehead, the heat of the touch making Pansy want to jump back, but the wall at her back held her in place.

The touch was brief but intense. Patel stepped away with a confused look on her face.

"What did you do?" demanded Pansy. She had practiced occlumency for years and never experienced an invasion like that before. It was different, perhaps a form of divination?

"It was you?!" demanded Patel, her voice shrill.

"What?" asked Pansy still bewildered. No memories had been touched, but it felt as if a part of her had been unveiled.

"You… you were… you were Aceso!" Patel had stepped back, her face a picture of shock.

Pansy winced. What a dreadful name. She hadn't been pleased when they came up with it.

"Oh Merlin! I've always wondered what happened to you! Thank you! I was never able to truely say thank you!" Pansy found the wand at her throat replaced with a sobbing divination professor whose arms were wrapped around her neck.

"Bleck! Get off of me, you over-sentimental gryffindork!" she spat pushing off the other witch, and hiding the unnatural shine in her eyes by taking a stride down the corridor. "This changes nothing. You can't tell anyone! And I mean _anyone_."

"What?! Everyone talks about you all the time! Everyone thinks you're dead! They are going to be so surprised when I tell them it was Pansy Parkinson, Slytherin Queen Bee the whole time!"

Turning on the bubbly witch, Pansy pulled her own wand at lightning speed. "Not _everyone_ thinks Aceso is dead. There's a reason I haven't shown up to any of those fuzzy little reunions Weaslette hosts every year, and let's not pretend I don't still have my coin. If it's the same to you, I would appreciate it if you could keep your big mouth shut for once and not tell anyone about this astounding revelation. I'd consider it a fair exchange for the life debt your sister owes me when I stopped her from bleeding out in the transfiguration corridor seventh year."

Parvati's mouth snapped shut at Pansy's dark glare. "You're serious aren't you? You really don't want anyone to know! But you were a hero!"

"I'm sure most of those who remember what happened in the great hall the night of the Battle of Hogwarts wouldn't be inclined to agree, Patel."

"But… yes… why did you-?"

"My motives are my own. I don't answer to you and I never have, but I hope you're satisfied I'm not here to murder half the school when term starts."

"Well… of course not…" Patel had a look of shock on her perfectly bronzed features.

"Good, now I have plans for this afternoon. I'll see you tomorrow for the start of term feast."

Storming back to her quarters, Pansy couldn't help but feel a niggle at the back of her mind that Patel was best friends with Brown and the two of them couldn't keep a secret to save their lives.

The start of term ended up going rather well. Pansy fell into a routine of easily managing any patients arriving in her hospital wing. She spent most of her time in the Hospital Tower. If she had patients, it was important that she be there if they needed her. Luckily she didn't have patients all that often. Many days she spent upstairs with the twins, teaching them their reading and writing and basic skills that would be required for them to succeed at Hogwarts. She rarely ate in the great hall, and usually dined with the twins and Winky. Anytime she was needed in the hospital wing, her wand was set to buzz to announce a visitor or a patient need. When she was out on the grounds, a house elf kept watch over the ward and was able to apparate to her and take her back to the ward in nearly the blink of an eye if needed.

Fall came early in the Scottish North, and with that came quidditch injuries and a few cases of the Fairy Flu, nothing she couldn't handle. In fact, it wasn't until Halloween that an impatient professor arrived on her doorstep.

"Patel," she said opening her door at ten in the evening. "Is there a patient?"

"No, I just thought I hadn't seen you in a few weeks. I wanted to stop by and see how you were."

"I'm fine, I was just reading while letting a pepper up potion simmer," replied Pansy gesturing to the bubbling cauldron in the kitchen.

"Perfect, I brought wine!"

Pansy shook her head slightly as if maybe the pajama clad professor might disappear if she looked long enough.

"Is everything alright?" asked Pansy, still confused as to why the other professor was there.

"You know, we're the only two professors under the age of thirty. Marcus and his wife are older and… well they have each other. We should be friends."

Pansy paused at the thought as she set the two wine glasses on the counter. She hadn't had a friend in quite some time. Coworkers she was friend-ly with, but not one that came over and drank wine after work. She hadn't made what she would call a true friend since Hogwarts.

"Hmm… What brought this on, if I might ask? Not that I'm opposed to free wine on a Friday night."

"Well… you didn't come to the staff Halloween Party, and I couldn't help but think of you up here… and I thought to myself, why shouldn't I come and hang out with you rather than the rather stuffy transfiguration teacher. I thought you might not be having a very good Halloween."

"Oh," Pansy was surprised. That was actually quite nice. "I was actually trick or treating with the kids. They were so excited about dressing up, and I took them to Hogsmeade for a few hours and we had dinner at Witch Burger."

"The kids?" asked a bewildered Parvati.

"Nicolas and Dahlia. About yeah high? Run around outside getting horribly dirt covered. The bane of Filch's existence? Completely addicted to butterbeer? My house elf Winky follows them around trying to convince them to wear hats?"

"Who?"

"My son and daughter? Surely you've seen them running around?" Pansy summoned a photo.

"They're your children! Nico and Lia?" exclaimed Parvati. "I thought they were just first years that are constantly out of bounds and skipping class. They are so adorable, and I thought they seemed rather small for firsties, but I don't get anyone until they are third years anyways. They've been showing up in my classroom for afternoon tea on Tuesdays for weeks."

"You must have better tea cakes than Hagrid. They stopped seeing him for tea after three visits. They decided they would rather help him feed the animals in the mornings."

"They do eat rather an abundance of tea cakes don't they?" Pondered Parvati. " I'm shocked they are yours. How old are they?"

"They will be eight December second," replied Pansy with a smile. "I am rather looking forward to their birthday."

"But that would mean you were already two months pregnant…"

"At the final battle… yes." Pansy cut her off and took a huge gulp of wine. She had a feeling this conversation was about to get all kinds of complicated.

"Well no wonder you weren't keen on having a massive battle on school grounds. Might I ask who is the father?"

"Well I'm sure you can surmise it wasn't Harry Potter," laughed Pansy cynically. "I haven't told my mother so I'm certain I won't be telling you. Let's just say that our relationship ended that night with the war." Pansy looked into her rapidly emptying wine glass contemplatively. "I think it goes without saying that I would rather that this entire conversation stayed between the two of us. I don't need any more reasons to be talked about. There aren't many members of the Pansy Parkinson fan club, and I would rather that my children not have to experience any ire that might be sent their way simply for being mine."

"I wouldn't breathe a word. We're friends now," promised Parvati. "Padma once confessed to me that if she hadn't had me to be brave for, she might have been tempted to throw Harry over as well. No one wanted to battle You-Know-Who."

"Well I had another life to look out for, and I wasn't willing to risk my life or those I loved to fight a mad man in a mad battle."

"No risk, no reward, Pansy. You got lucky."

"I'm not so sure. I lost two men I loved that night. My father died, fighting with the Aurors that arrived from the Ministry."

"Your dad was an auror?"

"No, he was a healer. He wasn't trained to fight in a battle. But his best friend was with him when the news broke. They came together. Kings broke the news to me and my mum himself the next morning."

"You don't mean the ex-minister?"

"He came out of the battle the minister, and my dad came out in a wooden box. They were best friends from the time they were first years in Slytherin together."

"KINGSLEY WAS A SLYTHERIN!?"

"Well he wasn't a Hufflepuff, that's for sure."


	3. The one you didn't see coming

_"The best relationships_

_Are the ones you never saw coming."_

_~Pansy Parkinson_

Pansy was sitting at her desk in the Matron's office in early November when there was a rap at the door. Looking up she was surprised to see Professor Sprout.

"Professor!" she exclaimed, summoning a chair from across the room. "What brings you in from the greenhouses?"

"Just thought I would pop by for a cup of tea, and to discuss a few things." The Hufflepuff head of house flicked her wand and a bright green teapot appeared along with two rose shaped cups.

"That's… unexpected."

"With the cold, I've mostly been keeping to greenhouses 3, 4 and 7. Seven greenhouses being a bit too much upkeep for an octogenarian like myself in this weather. However, a couple of prefects reported some suspicious activity in greenhouse one the last few weeks. I though you should know that Nico and Lia have set up their winter camp there."

"What?! They haven't destroyed any of your plants, have they?"

"Oh no, of course not. Mostly just trees and some greenery in house 1. Not much that needs attending to be honest. And not to worry, nothing too dangerous, which is why I leave it unlocked. It's a good place to escape the weather if you enjoy a green room like I do. I barely host any classes in there, but popping in, it was interesting to see their set up. And one of them must have quite the green thumb. They've been cultivating some Singing Scaveola, and let me tell you, it's quite the serenade."

"That would be Dahlia. She takes after her… grandmother. She's quite my little gardener. It's what I get for giving her a flower name, I suppose."

"You were always quite talented at Herbology, as I remember. I still have that purple umbrella flower you grafted to the rowan tree for your seventh year project. It still blooms every year, longer than any of my other umbrella flowers."

"I'm sure my herbology partner deserves all the credit for that one," Pansy could still remember the hours that had taken.

"I'll have to ask Neville his opinion the next time I see him. Considering he was missing for half the semester, hiding in the room of requirement, I doubt his contribution was as significant as you're implying. Don't put yourself down, Pansy. There are enough other people in the world willing to do it for you."

"Thank you professor," Pansy conceded, stepping toward the window to observe a small snowball fight occurring on the quidditch pitch.

"Why don't you let your twins know I'm re-potting the flitterblooms in greenhouse three tomorrow afternoon. They might enjoy getting dirty with permission for once." The grey haired professor winked at Pansy and headed for the door.

"I will. And thank you professor. I'll send them with some salve to rub on your chest for that lingering cough."

She couldn't help but remember how Sprout had been his favorite teacher and herbology his best subject. Even back in fifth year, when everything began.

* * *

Despite her efforts to make it to class on time, Pansy ended up being three fateful minutes late for Herbology.

"Ahh, Miss Parkinson. Why don't you take a seat next to Mr. Longbottom. I'm assigning partners for your OWL Herbology Projects, which you would know if you had arrived in a timely manner. Miss Granger and Miss Greengrass. Potter, you may as well work with Weasley since you were going to anyways…"

Pansy stalked to the front of the room. Of course the swotty gryffindork had taken a seat at the front of the room.

"And here I had been hoping to work with something more interesting than pansies today," Neville said under his breath. Pansy sat a little straighter and flicked her straightened hair over her shoulders before leveling him with a hard look. "Oh look, and we've been assigned one of the more venomous species," he picked up the index card Sprout had handed him.

"And here I had hoped to work with someone with a brain. But we can't always get what we want."

"We're cross breeding Venomous Tentaculas with Poison Hearted Pansies to determine the magical properties that they might exhibit. It's a project that's going to carry all the way to OWLs Parkinson. Drop the venom. I know you're a softie at heart."

"You don't know anything about me at all Longbottom," she hissed, snatching the assignment card.

"I was in the hospital wing last week when you comforted the Hufflepuff second year after her friend fell from the moving staircases and Pomfrey had to take her to St. Mungo's for a head scan."

"Shut your mouth, Longbottom or you're going to be the one needing a head scan."

"Well, we've already established that the slytherin dorms should be an ideal place for us to raise our crossbreed. Although Greenhouse four has a pretty ideal humidity," replied Longbottom making some notes in a black composition book. "If you select Poison Hearted Pansy's for your individual study, we might have a few back up specimens. I'll select venomous tentacula. That should grow well in the boys bathroom. There's a west facing window." Pansy huffed but pulled out her notes.

"We can start our research next Tuesday after dinner in the Library," she conceded, adding the appointment to her calendar. "I have prefect duties on Mondays and Thursdays, and you have those silly DA meetings on Wednesdays."

Neville turned to face her, a look of shock passing over his face. "Oh don't act surprised. It isn't as if the whole school didn't hear about Professor Potter and his secret Defense classes within five minutes of it happening. Why do you think the Umbitch wrote Education Decree Twenty-Four?"

"Fine. We'll meet up on Tuesday."

"Great. You can tell me all about Potter's class on disarming spells."

"How do you know all this?"

"A witch never reveals her secrets," scoffed Pansy.

* * *

Pansy had to admit, having Parvati as a friend was an improvement. The twins enjoyed her stories, and Parvati enjoyed coming to their apartments for dinner and company. As divination teacher, her schedule wasn't nearly as full and it was fun having another teacher to talk to. Parvati proved to be a serial dater, hopelessly optimistic that each new relationship would end up being _the one._

"If you're a seer, can't you just divine who your _soul mate_ is?" asked Pansy, taking a long dreg from the glass of wine she was enjoying while she and Parvati had a nice little gossip in her apartments in the divination tower. The twins had gone to bed early and she was celebrating an empty ward for the evening.

"Really, Pans? Seers don't see things about themselves. It would be unethical to abuse my powers for something so mundane. Besides, the powers that be do not allow you to choose what you will see," Parvati's voice took on a slightly mystical tone that Pansy couldn't help but remember from her school days. "Believe me, I've tried."

"Maybe some things in life are meant to be surprises."

"Like twins, born less than seven months after graduation?"

"Come on… that was totally planned!"

"Mhm… you drunk enough to spill the beans on that?"

"Not in this lifetime."

"You're absolutely no fun."

"My twins born less than seven months after graduation beg to differ."

"Sometimes I look at Nico and I think I have it and it just slips away."

"I'm going to tell the twins to stop spending so much time in the divination tower. I know you let the seventh years burn that _special incense_ last week. Delorian hallucinated for three days that he was a hippogriff."

"I was just using it as a vehicle to help open their inner eye," pouted Parvati, the bangles on her arms clinking as she crossed her arms.

"Maybe use a little _less_ vehicle next time. And maybe one that I won't have to report to the Auror department?"

"Who came out for the report?"

"An older one… Dawlish, I think? The one that was confounded so much during the war, he had to redo Auror training. I managed to convince him that there hadn't been any illicit drug use violating the Ministry code."

"How?"

"You and your entire divination class were participating in a muggle Hindi religious ritual that connects you to your inner eye through the goddess of divination."

" _What?"_

"I don't remember everything I said… mostly some mumbo jumbo about it being for religious purposes. You know the ministry… backing off at the mere mention of religion or potential for discrimination."

"You're terrifyingly good, you know that?"

"Slytherin," shrugged Pansy inspecting her nails. "You owe me, by the way. I don't want to have to supervise in Hogsmeade for the Valentine's day trip."

"Uggh… I thought we were friends?"

"Slytherin."

* * *

"You're a terrible liar, Longbottom," she sighed, pushing her book aside with her notes and looking over at him. They had commandeered Greenhouse number one and were burning the midnight oil.

"We need to finish these papers. The end of term is next week, and I still have tests to study for."

"Sprout is going to give you an O without even reading it."

"You were the one who wanted to go over our essays. I'm just trying to make sure they are perfect."

"It's been two hours. I don't think we can revise them much more. I can't take it anymore! Top marks to the swottiest gryffindork!"

"Don't you mean Hermione?" joked Neville with a wry smile. Pansy laughed.

"Merlin, I didn't think gryffindors knew how to take the mickey."

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me Parkinson."

"Parkinson? I thought we agreed to be Pansy and Neville, at least in private."

"Yes, can't have everyone else knowing you're on a first name basis with the biggest loser in the year."

"Let's be clear, Nev. Me and Weasley will _never_ be on a first name basis." Neville laughed and Pansy rubbed her back stepping away from the bench where they had been working and onto the grass that covered the floor of the back half of the greenhouse. "Merlin, this place is so pretty and peaceful in the winter. No wonder you come here to study."

"It's like a little piece of springtime," agreed Nev, unfolding his long limbs and following her into the area of the greenhouse decorated with fully grown flowering trees and many species of beautiful flowers. Greenhouse one was a temperate botanical paradise set in eternal springtime. It was Nev's favorite of the greenhouses, much less humid than the tropical greenhouses, and being designed as a first year classroom as well, never contained anything remotely dangerous. It was usually left open in the evening for students to work on herbology projects, but Neville like to study everything here. It was more peaceful than the library.

"The view of the stars is almost as good as from the astronomy tower," commented Pansy laying down on the soft grass and looking up through the clear glass panes.

"Fun fact, I always have top marks in Astronomy for that very reason."

"I don't see what's so _fun_ about that," snickered Pansy. "It seems rather swotty. Are you sure you aren't related to Granger?"

"Near certain," said Neville, settling down on the grass next to her and bracing his hands behind his head. "So you ready for December exams?"

"I'm ready to go home," she said after a long pause. "I miss my own room, listening to the wireless in the den. I feel like I haven't seen my parents in ages."

"Gran always makes a big production of Christmas. I miss her food. She sends cookies and zucchini bread, but they always taste a little stale when they've been dragged halfway across England by her owl."

"Mmm… well if you don't think they are any good, feel free to send them my way. That peanut brittle she sent you two weeks ago was amazing."

"I didn't say they were _bad_ , just that they taste _better_ fresh out of the oven."

"I concede the point."

"Ohhh… the great Pansy Parkinson concedes a point to the lowly Neville Longbottom."

"Don't get used to it."

"Ha! I wasn't planning on it. What's this make? Ten thousand points Pansy, one, Neville?" he cocked an eyebrow at her with a half grin on his face.

"Something like that. Anyways… Any big plans over break?"

"Just the usual. My Aunt and Uncle will come, we'll eat, I'll get to spend the break in Gran's greenhouse, cleaning the mess she's made, I'll get a hideous sweater from Uncle Algie and Auntie Enid and something equally embarrassing from my gran."

"I'll look forward to making fun of it on the train ride back."

"I'll make sure to wear it then."

"Are you going to go visit your parents?" she asked, rolling on her side to looking at him.

"What? What do you mean?"

"I mean, are you going to go visit your parents in the Janus Thickey Ward?"

"How? I mean… What?"

"Like I said earlier, you're not a good liar, Longbottom. My dad's a senior healer at Mungo's, and he's been Chief of the Spell Damage for the past eight years. I've visited him a time or two. He's usually busy, and the patients in the Janus Thickey Ward are mostly harmless. I've visited Professor Lockhart a few times, he was always nice, even if somewhat stupid. Your dad looks just like you. You know… with like… white hair."

"You've never said anything."

"What? You expected me to make fun of your parents who are war heroes?"

"Some people don't see it that way."

"Don't tell me you're embarrassed of them?!" she shrieked, sitting up and looking over at the Gryffindor who refused to meet her eyes. "Your parents protected your location under the duress of torture until they were insane. _You're_ insane if you think _anyone_ would stoop low enough to tease you about something as low as that."

"We haven't always been friends," muttered Nev.

"Oh… is that what we are now?" she pondered. "I guess we must be considering you haven't even told your _other_ friends about your parents being alive."

"You don't know that."

"I heard Pothead and Weasel talking about it once in third or fourth year. Charms class. I didn't feel it my place to correct them that you live with your grandmother because your parents had suffered a fate worse than death and are currently residing at St. Mungo's as permanent residents. I figured that was your place… as their so called friend."

"I don't like to bring it up with people," Neville shot back tensely.

"You should be proud. My parents would have given me up in a heartbeat. Kings told me that your parents held out for hours, never revealing that you were secretly locked in a magical cupboard just a few rooms away the entire time."

"You don't know that! No parent… your parents love you Pansy. They would never give you up!"

"Maybe, but you are the only person I know that can brag that their parents were willing to be tortured into insanity rather than give up their son. They must really love you," she said softly, taking his hand.

"Thanks Pansy. And I do visit them. We go and they don't know me, but my mum smiles at me, refuses to let go of my hand, and sometimes she gives me a hug, or a candy wrapper." Pansy squeezed his hand.

"Maybe she knows… deep down I mean. Maybe she knows it's you, and it was worth it."

"Do you really think their sacrifice was worth it? I mean look at me? I'm completely mediocre, and they were amazing! I'm not going to be an auror! I'll be lucky to pass half my OWLs!"

"I can say with absolutely certainty, that they would agree with me that it was worth it," Pansy said solemnly, interrupting his tirade, her hand still warm around his.

"I never thought I would say this," laughed Nev, looking away and swiping at his nose, blinking rapidly. "You're a good friend, Pansy Parkinson."

"Don't let anyone know. It will ruin my terrifying reputation, Longbottom," she shot back with a wry grin.

* * *

December came with the twins birthdays. Hagrid of all people had helped Pansy select some part kneezle kittens to gift the twins, a silver tabby and a ginger and black calico. They were thrilled with the animals, naming them Patrona and Kevin. Pansy wasn't sure where Nicolas got the notion to name his such a mundane name, but the kitten didn't seem bothered.

Hogwarts ended up closing for the Holidays, all of the students going home. Pansy and the twins flooed to Parkview where Violet Parkinson had every detail of an English Christmas planned from the wizarding crackers and Christmas pheasant to the garland decorating every doorway.

"Mum, you really didn't have to do all of this," protested an exhausted Pansy on Christmas Eve as they finished wrapping the last of the presents to put under the tree for the twins.

"What do you mean? I've been dying to do this for years!"

"Well… thanks then. It's been a really magical Christmas already. The cookies, and the homemade candies. I didn't know you could actually bake."

"I had the house elves teach me the last few weeks. I wanted to impress the children," Violet confessed.

"Dear Merlin… well you impressed them and me. I guess an old owl really can learn new tricks."

"I beg your pardon! I'm not old!"

"I'm sorry, _grandmother_..."

"Well…. If _someone_ hadn't started a family so very young…"

"You love it."

"I do… And I'm rather good at it!"

"Agreed… now who is this one for?" asked Pansy opening a box to find a set of striped pajamas.

"Oh… I think that's for Nico, there's a matching gown for Lia."

"Mmm…" said Pansy wrapping the gift with green striped paper for Nico.

"Ohh, what is this?!" exclaimed Violet, looking at another box's contents. "What on _earth_ possessed you to buy this!?" She held up an especially hideous orange brown and blue sweater. "Did the yarn shop explode, or did someone make this intentionally?"

"I got one for both the twins. They match!"

" _Why though_?" demanded Violet wrinkling her nose.

"I… I just did. I do every year. Besides it will keep them warm. Label it from Auntie E and wrap it in the hideous orange paper over there."

"You don't have an Auntie E!"

"The twins don't know that."

Violet shook her still brown curls but did as Pansy requested, although she managed to hide the gifts at the back of the tree where they wouldn't be in the pictures she was looking forward to taking the next morning.

* * *

"Merlin! You're clumsier than Crabbe and Goyle put together!" Snapped Pansy, looking at the bite from the Fanged Pansy they had spent the last four months cultivating.

"Well I've never seen them attempt to prune a venomous fanged plant that won't stop squirming and doesn't like to be pruned!" protested Neville pulling back his hand. "I'd like to see you try if you're so clever. You're the one named to be a herbologist."

"They would probably just eat it," she conceded thinking of Crabbe and Goyle who were barely passing their classes. "I don't think it really needs pruned. Maybe we should just repot it. Give it some room to grow. And I thought I told you I would hex you if you kept bringing that up."

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you whacked off all your hair."

"I'll have you know this cut is the height of fashion in Paris right now." She lofted her chin and let her hair swish about her face.

"It makes your face look pinched with your hair stick straight and cut so sharply at your jaw. It looked better before."

"Like you're so fashionable yourself, Longbottom."

"I'm just saying, stop taking your anger about your bad haircut out on everyone else. Just go to Madame Pomfrey and tell her you accidentally lopped off half your hair practicing severing spells. I am sure she'll give you a hair regrow potion."

"You're lucky I dodged when I did. You're bollocks at healing spells. I would have bled out before you managed to bring me to the hospital wing."

"You should just join the regular DA, to hell with sneaking around if you're so worried about getting hurt."

"Excuse me if my sense of self preservation is more highly developed than that of you and your idiot Gryffindor friends."

"Give it a rest Junie. Just go regrow your hair so I can stop listening to you complain about my accidental pruning of my favorite flower."

"Do you really think it looks that bad?" she whispered, her manicured hands going to the shorn locks. "Daphne said she thought I'd managed to make it look intentional." Neville crossed his arms and stood up, moving around the work table in greenhouse four to inspect Pansy's jaw length hair from a different angle.

"Well it has at least one thing going for it," he finally said, leaning in close behind her. She turned to meet his blue eyes.

"Well?"

"Stop fishing for compliments Junie," he muttered before pressing his lips to her neck, nibbling on the tender skin below her ear. "But this is suddenly much easier access than before."

"Nev!" she giggled. "I told you to stop calling me that!"

"You know you love it, besides, it suits you," he laughed.

"I should have never told you my middle name was Juniper," huffed Pansy, not so secretly pleased with the nickname.

She ended up having to have her hair regrown the next day to hide the hickeys on her neck. Madame Pomfrey had given her a speculative look, and Neville had suggested she could have just worn her slytherin scarf. She'd flicked her long brown hair at him and thrown her nose in the air before storming to the other side of the library to study for charms.

* * *

"So, how are things at Hogwarts?"

"Fine. You know… the usual," she sipped a cup of tea. Merlin, they always had the best tea.

"How did you manage to get out of Hogmeade duties today? Not that I _didn't_ want to see you on Valentine's day, but… I wasn't exactly expecting it."

"That's why it's called a _surprise_ , Draco."

"You and your two children aren't exactly the surprise I was hoping for in my kitchen this morning," complained Draco. "I was more hoping for the kind of surprise where my wife is baking me blueberry pancakes. In the nude." His gaze got that far off look he sometimes got when he talked about Astoria.

"The only thing that would be surprising about that is the look on your father's face when he stumbles in looking for pancakes and finds you two going at it on the countertops."

"Yeah, you're right… not really a very good surprise after all," conceded Draco with a frown, shaking his head. "I wonder what they would say about an extended holiday in south France?"

"Your parents?" asked Pansy. Draco nodded thoughtfully. "They live for those grandchildren you and Tori gave them… I sincerely doubt they will be taking any holidays anytime soon, extended or otherwise. Heck, your father allows them to call him by the name of a bear in a _muggle_ movie. It's all rather pathetic really."

"Damn… you're right. As usual," sighed Draco.

"You and Tori should take a holiday. Your mum and dad would watch the kids."

"Well, well, well… that might be a good idea there."

"I'm full of them."

"Speaking of which, how did you manage to get out of the Hogsmeade thing?"

"Oh, Parvati owed me one. I made her do it. She secretly enjoys chaperoning anyways. Flirts with the manger at Scrivenshafts all day."

"As opposed to you. I mean… you didn't even go to Hogsmeade after fourth year, did you?"

"No, I mostly stayed back at the castle," agreed Pansy, looking away. "It's not like I missed much."

"You missed the Honeydukes eating contests with Vince and Greg," laughed Draco, pulling a bar of Finest out of his desk drawer. "Here, I was going to owl this to you, but you came to me instead."

"Oh, thanks, Drakie-poo," cooed Pansy in a sugary sweet voice, causing him to roll his eyes. "Mmmmm…" she broke off a piece and popped it into her mouth with a moan.

"When are you going to get a boyfriend, so I don't have to buy you chocolates for Valentine's day anymore?" he asked dramatically.

"Who said anything about you being off the hook for chocolate on Valentine's day _ever_?" demanded Pansy with a look. "I thought you understood this was a lifetime supply thing?"

"Well… it was worth a try. So, I know we're hiding out in here while Astoria makes cookies with the kids. Me because my wife considers me a nuisance in the kitchen, and you because… well you're you, but why?"

"What are you implying?" Pansy narrowed her eyes at Draco who pulled another box of chocolates from his desk.

"What I mean, is why are you guys here today at all?" He presented her with the second box of chocolates, this one wrapped in a red bow. She wouldn't be surprised if they had originally been intended for his mother. Draco was rich, he could afford to get her more than a bar of chocolate. And also, he knew when he put his foot in his mouth.

"Well, no one else was willing to watch your children so that Tori can take you out tonight and shag your brains out. Your parents have their own thing going on or something," Pansy said, watching as his eyes lit up.

"Seriously?!"

"I mean we already knew I was the best friend ever, but feel free to tell me again."

"I truly love you Pans," grinned Draco rubbing his hands together. "You are literally my favorite friend ever."

"I know. I am also apparently your only single friend right now," she smirked. "And look at the rest of them… like Greg, I love him, but he's a bit dense. Really, you have a bit of a tendency toward oafish friends. I wonder what that says about you, Draco?"

"Give it a rest. We both know Neville is a lot less _dense_ than you pretend. And I think we both know why you like to pretend that."

"Uggh… if you're going to bring him up, we might as well go help decorate Valentine's cookies with your wife." Picking up her Valentine chocolates, she flounced out of the room.

Looking down at the note from his friend, Draco shook his head. It was ironic that Nev and Pansy had both offered to watch his kids tonight so he and Tori could go out. All things considered, he trusted Pansy a bit more.

"Auntie Pansy, can you tell us a bedtime story?" asked four year old Scorpius, tucked into a sleeping bag next to Nico, two year old Austrina, and Dahlia. The bright ice blonde heads contrasted with her children's darker hair, the purple sleeping bags reminding her of third year.

"Oh my, well, since you were all so good, and since we're having such a fun sleepover at Hogwarts. How about the one where the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was a villain in disguise?"

"Ohhh! Yeah!" exclaimed Scorpius. "Dad never tells this one, he likes telling the one about the Princess who pretended to be a kitchen maid."

"It was a dark and stormy night, and the students at Hogwarts had just arrived for another year of learning," began Pansy with a smirk on her face. Draco was going to be so mad tomorrow when Rina asked for a pet ferret.


	4. Tomorrow I'll Still Miss You

_"Tomorrow is another day,_

_yes of course it is._

_But tomorrow, I'll still miss you."_

_~Pansy Parkinson_

Pansy recalled the end of the year being full of excitement and anxiety about exams. She hadn't realized just how much this added to her workload. At any given time she seemed to have two students in for nervous breakdowns, one student in for a magical or quidditch accident, and another in complaining of a mysterious malady that simply required they had an excuse for class.

She was busy brewing up an allergy potion for the ravenclaws. She was convinced there was something in that tower causing all these allergic reactions in the past two weeks, but she hadn't convinced professor Flitwick to evaluate the entire tower yet.

It was warm for May, and the heat from brewing made her office a little stuffy. She had the window open, and she was wearing a casual knee length black skirt and a button down decorated in vivid blue and yellow pansies, her white healing robes discarded over the back of a chair. Consulting her reference book, she made a quick note of the color before adding the final ingredient, using her wand to direct the stirring. Stepping away from the heat, she tucked a stray curl behind her ear and looked out on the grounds. Ravenclaw team was practicing for the upcoming cup game against Gryffindor. Both teams were talented, but had had their fair number of injuries this year.

The clearing of a throat caused her to startle, turning toward the door to find an unexpected visitor.

"Hi-Er… I was looking for Madame Pompfrey. I had a mishap at work, and didn't know if she happened to have anything for burns. I forgot my prescription in London… It's not a big deal, I can come back later when she's in."

"That might be a long wait considering she's retired." Pansy hid her smirk and turned to her cabinet.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were the new Madame. I'm Harry Potter." Pansy turned to see the gryffindork holding his wand hand out for her to shake.

"Merlin, Potter. Would you like me to check your glasses prescription while you're here?" She plopped a jar of dragon burn paste in his extended palm before leaning back against her desk, casually crossing her ankles. She watched Potter's eyes practically cross in confusion and rolled her eyes. Waving her wand around her head she sighed and pursed her lips into a smug look as her naturally curly hair fell from the clip she had contained it in, and fell around her shoulders perfectly straight. The way she had worn it in school in her attempt to mimic Gemma Farley's stylish looks. She cocked her eyebrow for the heck of it.

"P-Parkinson?" he stammered, his jaw falling open.

"Lovely seeing you again too, Potter. It's been a few years."

"What are you doing here?" he looked around the room as if to validate that he was currently in reality.

Pansy waved her wand to bottle the allergy potion which had certainly simmered long enough. Slipping around her desk, she shrugged on the white Healing robes she typically wore and twisted her hair back into her clip. "I've been matron here since September. I've been a Healer specializing in Pediatric Trauma and Illnesses for the past six years."

"Is there something in the Headmaster's office that causes them to completely lose their marbles?" demanded Potter.

"Honestly, Harry. I would have thought you had outgrown the dramatics." She sighed and began labeling the potion she had just bottled, setting the expiration date for six months out. Looking up a few minutes later, she realized Potter was still watching her.

"Was there something else you needed? I can't imagine your wife would like me to be the one applying that burn ointment." She looked him over, searching his form for signs of burns. His left leg if she had to guess by the way he was standing.

"Why Healing, Parkinson? You don't seem the type. I've never pictured you going into healing after everything."

"Don't pretend you know anything about me, Potter. And don't act like you've given a single thought to me in the past eight years. Us Slytherins were all the same to you, minions of evil."

"You're right. I'm not being fair. I guess I would have thought you'd be married to Draco or Nott by now. I'm just letting your actions nine years ago speak for themselves. It was _you_ that suggested turning me over to Voldemort, wasn't it?"

Pansy could feel her cheeks flaring with heat. Of all people she shouldn't have to justify herself to, Harry Potter was at the top of the list. They weren't friends and never had been. She didn't owe him anything. "Theo is my first cousin, and Draco and I never considered ourselves romantic beyond maybe fourth year. And _yes_ , it _was_ me that suggested we avoid the death and destruction of a final battle by turning you over to the Dark Lord. And what did you end up doing anyways?! Turning yourself over after ninety percent of the wizarding world lost a loved one! You never did understand the slytherin trait of self preservation very well did you?"

"Don't talk to me about losing someone in the war!" Growled Potter, his hand moving toward his wand, making Pansy wish she hadn't poked the lion. "What could you possible understand about the loss of the Battle. You weren't there."

"No? I went home to find my father had left the manor with his best friend when they heard a battle was raging at Hogwarts. My father died trying to protect me and the idiot students that stayed behind fighting a battle that children had no business being a part of! Ask the former Minister about the healer he dragged to a battle where Aurors died! Ask him! And then tell me about loss! How about Vincent!? I bet you don't even think about him. He wasn't on your side, but he was just trying to prevent his mum from being murdered like his father for incompetence. Don't act like you're the only one who ever lost someone!" She hissed, leaning across the desk that was the only thing keeping her from physically hitting the smug idiot. "And _don't_ act like my trying to prevent even a fraction of the bloodshed that followed our last interaction wasn't in the best interests of every person in that room. _You_ followed my advice within hours."

Apparently startled by her outburst, Potter seemed to shrink into himself.

"Madame Parkinson, Tiberius fell into the trick stair and his wrist is really swollen." One of the smallest Gryffindor second years had appeared in the doorway. "Oh my goodness! You're Harry Potter! WICKED!" Pansy pinched the bridge of her nose with a sigh.

"Thank you, for that brilliant observation Mr. Baker. Let's take a look at Mr. Lowen's wrist shall we? Good Day, Mr. Potter."

Sweeping out of the office, she headed into the wing.

Now she knew how Madame Pomfrey had really felt about Longbottom all those years. And Potter for that matter. He'd been at the root of a seemingly endless stream of injuries over the years for him and idiot friends. Come to think of it, exams had always seemed to coincide with these hospitalizations.

* * *

Pansy stalked back and forth in the empty classroom. "You great bumbling idiot! What were you thinking?! Thestrels! Riding Thestrels of all things! BELLATRIX LESTRANGE! What more needs to be bloody said!?"

"Well you've been going on for over an hour, so there can't be much more."

"You've snapped your WAND! Of all the things you could have broken! A leg, an arm, your jaw! You snap the most important thing right in half. Leaving you as defenseless as a first year! NO! _MORE_ defenseless than a first year."

"I'm fine Junie. Look, completely whole!" He spread his arms wide as if to demonstrate. She quieted and stepped into his chest, wrapping her arms around him.

"Please… just don't do something like this again. My nerves can't handle it." He wrapped his arms around her tightly and distracted her by kissing her instead of answering.

* * *

Shaking her head to ward off the memory, she pretended not to notice Potter slipping out of the infirmary, surely to go complain to McGonagall. She shot a tongue tying spell after him. He probably wouldn't even notice. Not unless he decided to discuss her new position outside of Hogwarts, but he would probably forget by the time he got home.

"We got you a present for your birthday, mummy," announced Lia, waking Pansy with a start. Glancing at the clock she noticed it was only half seven. Merlin deliver her from eight year olds who insisted on rising before eight.

"Really?" she asked, rubbing her eyes and brushing her unruly hair out of her face. "Can I eat it?"

"NO!" laughed Nico, a fully belly laugh that reminded her too much of a certain Gryffindor.

"Darn…"

"They are pansies!" exclaimed Lia, presenting Pansy with a pot of deep bluish purple pansies. "We grew them from seeds we found in the greenhouse, and Professor Sprout said we could give them to you!"

"My! They are the most beautiful present I've ever gotten!" exclaimed Pansy, noting that they were Poison Heart Pansies, the red dots at their center marking the magical plant. She wondered how the twins had managed to smuggle them in their bags to France for their two month Holiday during the off term. She'd rented a cottage on the coast, and she was near dreading returning to work. The holiday had spoiled her.

"Grandmother's here for your birthday too. She's making breakfast." Informed Nico.

"You mean she's ordering Winky about in the kitchen?" asked Pansy with a conspiratorial smile. The twins laughed, their full belly laughs the best birthday present she could have asked for.

Once before Pansy had found herself with a beautiful birthday present.

* * *

Sitting on the express, she silently contemplated arranging a meeting with Nev for this evening while she ran her hands through Draco's hair. He had sobbed in her arms a week ago when he visited her for her birthday. She wasn't sure exactly what was going on, but she had a bad feeling about this year.

Later that night, meeting with Nev in the abandoned third floor corridor, she tried to put her fears about this year aside.

"What's with Malfoy this year?"

"I don't want to talk about it. He won't tell me what's wrong, we haven't even had our first class and he's already stressed."

"Well I don't know how much you hanging all over him at dinner really helped."

"Jealous?" she asked with a smirk. He shot her a frustrated look and ignored the question.

"Where was Greengrass? Usually, don't you two spend the first night feast cackling at the new crop of first years?"

"Her parents pulled her out. They're sending her to Bauxbatons. Astoria and Helios too."

"Gran is worried a full scale war is going to break out any day, but there isn't anyplace safer than Hogwarts. It will be fine." Nev rubbed her back reassuringly, reading into her anxiety.

"I've missed you," she mumbled into his neck.

"It's too bad you couldn't meet in Diagon Alley for our birthdays."

"I told you, mum and dad took me on a surprise trip to the seaside. I'm sorry."

"It's alright, but I have your gift here if you want it now."

"You got me a present!?"

"Well, you are my girlfriend, and you're only going to turn sixteen once."

"Oh Nev," she gasped after ripping apart the paper, looking at the deep blueish violet poison heart pansy charm on the silver chain.

"Well, you are my favorite flower."

"I feel bad, I didn't get you anything."

"You sent me those taffies from the seaside."

"Well… yes, but that wasn't…"

"Happy Birthday, luv." He cut her off with a deep kiss.

Two days later in charms Tracey demanded to know where she had got the necklace. Pansy felt the irritation of having to make a new best friend. Daphne would have known not to say anything, knowing that Pansy would brag about a new necklace if she wanted to. However, with so few girls in their year in Slytherin, Pansy didn't exactly have that many options. Millicent wasn't exactly the most interesting of companions considering her near obsession with her family's Thestrel Farm.

"This old thing? I can't quite remember," she answered, shooting a look across the room before lifting it for examination. "It is rather charming though, don't you think?"

"It does match your eyes quite nicely," conceded Tracey. "I just think I would have remembered seeing it before."

* * *

Going back to Hogwarts was a hurried affair after she extended their holiday at the seaside for an extra week. She regretted not spending more time brewing up potions for her stores this summer, but the cottage had been hot, and she hadn't wanted to stay indoors minding a potion when she could be outside enjoying the waves and the sea breeze.

"I can't believe you skipped the all staff meeting to slave over blood replenishing potions," complained Parvati as she tossed cashews into her mouth.

" _I_ can't believe you can eat while this potion brews. The smell makes me want to check _myself_ into the hospital wing."

"I don't know why you bother. It isn't as if Potter goes here anymore. How much blood replenishing potion could you possibly need?"

"You would be surprised. Besides, it's an old standby."

"Well you didn't miss anything at the meeting. It was the usual blah-blah-blah from Filch, complaining about all the messes the students are going to make. McGonagall barely got a word in edgewise."

"He let it go to his head when she named him the "Castle Steward" last year," laughed Pansy.

"Well he certainly _stews_ when he finds children making messes or out past curfew." Parvati lowered her voice conspiratorially. "I will say, he helped sabotage the Carrows in seventh year. Did I ever tell you that I went back to clean up the blood in the transfiguration corridor, and he actually yelled at me for returning to the scene of the crime?"

"Sometimes people surprise us. Hogwarts is his one love… besides Mrs. Norris. He didn't like the Carrows destroying it either."

"Speaking of the Carrows. There is a new ancient runes professor, and he is absolutely delicious! DIBS! I called dibs… he's mine!"

"Okay! I get it- you saw him first. Let's hear about him then?"

"Well his name is Karan Reddy, and he's apparently brilliant. I'm foreseeing at least a mild flirtation." Parvati sighed dramatically pressing her palm to her forehead before popping another cashew in her mouth.

"Well so long as he's brilliant, handsome, _and_ nicer than the last jerk you dated, I'm in full support."

"Mark wasn't so bad," protested Parvati examining her nails.

"He refused to marry you unless you retired," complained Pansy. "He was a misogynistic prat."

"What if Karan thinks Divination isn't a serious subject?"

Pansy pursed her lips and tried not to let Parvati know that she didn't exactly think divination a serious area of study. "Then I doubt he's the one for you."

"Mummy!" protested Lia as Pansy brushed her wet curls. "You're pulling!"

Pansy sighed and looked over at Nico who was smirking at his sister. She knew Lia was protesting to get something, she just wasn't sure what yet.

"I'm sorry darling, but I am trying to hurry so your hair will be braided by the time I go down for the feast."

"But who will eat with us? Can we go with you?" asked Lia, her bottom lip protruding in a pretty pout that made Pansy want to laugh. Nice try, but Pansy had been the queen of manipulation. She knew all the tricks.

"I'll bring back some pudding," she conceded. "Now, I'll see the two of you just in time to read a story for bed. The twins heaved coordinated sighs, but she simply straightened her robes and headed down the stairs. "Be good for Winky!"

She was going to miss the sorting if she didn't hurry. Her heels clacked on the stone steps as she hurried down to the great hall. She frowned as she passed the hour glasses. Slytherin house was already behind fifty points. Something must have happened on the train. Hopefully no one had been injured.

She slipped in the side door just in time to watch the beginning of the sorting. Rather than cross the room, she stayed in the shadows by the door, clapping lightly as the small first years nervously stepped down after being sorted.

When the last student was sent to Hufflepuff, she finally focused her attention to the head table where McGonagall stood up and began addressing the school.

"Welcome back students! To our new students, congratulations on your new houses, I am sure the next few weeks will be an adjustment to life at Hogwarts. Your housemates were each in your shoes once and you can rely on them to help you through this transition. I'd like to take a few minutes to introduce our newest staff members, Ancient Runes Professor Karan Reddy, and our new Herbology Professor Neville Longbottom!"

The smattering of applause and hushed whispers about the war hero were drowned out by the ringing in her ears. Pansy slumped against the pillar, drawing herself deeper into the shadows as she watched a dark head at the far end of the teacher's table stand and raise an arm. Using the appearance of the food as a cover, she slipped out the side door, her breathing fast and uneven. Stumbling into an unused first floor classroom, she shut the door behind her, trying to regain the rhythm of her breathing while her vision remained spotty for a few moments.

What was _he_ doing here? Well that was a stupid question she supposed, but Sprout hadn't even mentioned retiring! How could this have happened? Touching a clammy hand to her sweaty forehead, she sank onto a nearby desk.

* * *

Pansy swung her feet as she sat perched on a worktable in the first year potions classroom. She had a few books from the library in her bag, but she had spent the better part of the last half hour charming her nails various shades of pink. She looked up when the door burst open and Nev strode through the door, running his hands through his hair before plopping his bag on a nearby desk.

"It went that well then?" she asked.

"What did you expect?" he demanded, pacing the room. "Gran's going to be livid."

"Maybe you should stop catering to her approval anyways."

"I honestly thought I was going to escape the bloody arse this year entirely. Now he's teaching defense _and_ he's my career counselor while you lucked out and got Sprout."

"You have to admit he's doing a brilliant job with defense. Even Potter seems satisfied with the curriculum."

"Yes, and he doesn't seem to be picking on me quite so much. He even awarded me points last week, no matter how grudgingly."

"That _was_ quite the severing spell. You must have been practicing."

"I'm not apologizing for that again."

"I wasn't asking you to," she rolled her eyes. "But what did Snape say?"

"Well… after he suggested a career in _Magical Maintenance_ , he mentioned that private growers can make rather obscene commissions by supplying rare plants to potions masters or companies. He also mentioned I wasn't abysmal in Defense, and perhaps I had the brains to be a Ministry Hit Wizard. Everyone knows they are just hired thugs carrying wands. Crabbe and Goyle could probably qualify."

"It's just career counseling. It's not as if you're required to follow any of the paths laid out for you. Professor Sprout didn't even bring up healing until I insisted she provide me with pamphlets about all the various Healing Academies. She thought I might be interested in beauty potions development, or running an apothecary."

"McGonagall suggested Harry work toward the Auror Program."

"Nev… I know your gran wants you to be just like your dad, but you didn't manage an OWL in Potions. Kingsley thinks potions knowledge is critical anymore with how many illegal operations the Aurors take down every year."

"She's going to be so disappointed."

"Well I'm not. I can think of all sorts of things you can buy me with your 'rather obscene commissions' from growing Poison Heart Pansies or Mandrakes or whatnot."

"You know it isn't about the money."

"Well if you enjoy it, what else matters? I think you would love being a professional herbologist. What if you wanted to teach? You're a great teacher! You shouldn't let the expectations of others define you."

"Maybe you should take some of your own advice. Luna knows I'm sneaking around with someone, and it can't be long before the rest of my friends find out. What has you so opposed to letting everyone know we're seeing each other?"

"Something's terribly off with Draco this year. I've been slipping him sleeping potions at dinner just to make sure he rests at all. He's going to be upset I didn't tell him. Besides, you know Pothead, Granger, and Weasleby all hate my guts. I know you're good at standing up to your friends, but I'm not. I don't have that kind of bravery and you know it."

* * *

Pansy remained lost in her memories for several hours, missing the end of the feast. It was past midnight when she slunk back to the hospital wing, keeping to the shadows and looking around every corner as if someone would jump out at her. The twins were sleeping on the sofa, a rather calm Headmistress perched on a barstool in her kitchen sipping tea.

"We missed you at the feast," Minerva said in greeting.

"I... I didn't feel well," Pansy confessed truthfully.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I have an intern for you this year. I wanted to introduce you."

"Is it Miranda McManus? She seemed quite interested in healing last year, and I suggested she apply."

"Why yes! I'm glad you remember her," answered Minerva, taking another sip of tea.

"Of course, sweet girl. I'll be happy to help further her education."

"It's funny how unnoticed the healing intern position goes. I hardly remember we have a position, and Poppy said you interned under her for three years."

"That's true."

"Well your experience obviously made you a highly qualified candidate for the academy. LeClaire told me how she suspected you were more skilled than most senior healers within six months of starting school in her letter of recommendation."

"I attended Hogwarts during a time when many students were prone to injury. Harry Potter was in attendance, surely that speaks for itself."

"Ahh, yes. Speaking of your year-mates, you'll be happy to hear another of you has joined the staff."

"Please tell me it's not Potter," Pansy intoned with as much sarcasm as she could manage, doing her best to hide the fact she knew what McGonagall was about to reveal. She schooled her features into a natural expression of curiosity.

"That would be quite the coup… but I _have_ managed to lure an Auror from the ministry. Neville Longbottom has agreed to take on Pamona's post for the year on a trial basis. She's been due a sabbatical for a while, and she suggested he take over. If she comes back next year it will probably only be to teach the entry level classes, since she's been rather run down with the schedule. Those of us that teach the primary subjects always have so much more to do."

"Longbottom. He's the clumsy Gryffindor, right?" she said pretending not to remember him.

"Don't be stupid Pansy. I wasn't born yesterday. I'm certain you remember him," snapped McGonagall before draining the last of her tea. "I just thought you should know, so you weren't startled. I wanted Parvati to pull you aside before the feast, but she said she hadn't managed to find you."

"Thank you for your concern. I'm sure you've extended the same courtesy to Longbottom?"

"Heavens no. Why would I need to do that?" tutted McGonagall as she gathered her robes about her and swept from the apartments. "Goodnight, Pansy."


	5. When words become superfluous

_"A kiss is a lovely trick_

_designed by nature_

_to stop speech when words become_

_superfluous."_

_~Ingrid Bergman_

Pulling out her wand Pansy summoned a pair of blankets from upstairs. Covering Dahlia and Nico gently, she pressed kisses to the top of their heads before heading upstairs. She wasn't sure what was going to happen, but she had a fairly bad feeling about it. She hadn't had such a bad feeling at the start of term since sixth year.

Readying for bed, she slipped on a pair of blue silk pajamas. Despite how comfortable her bed was, she couldn't help thinking how tall he had looked standing up at the teacher's table, the light of the great hall shining on his still full head of hair. He'd looked good, his robes tailored, professional. She'd always been a sucker for him in a uniform.

* * *

She'd ordered the deep blue dress from Madame Malkins via owl order. Slughorn's Christmas Slug Club Party wasn't exactly the most exciting invitation, but Pansy wasn't turning down the opportunity to rub elbows with the Head Healer at St. Mungo's who was expected to attend. Slughorn knew her life's ambition was to work in Healing, and he had dangled that carrot perfectly.

Being that it was a formal party, Pansy had gone all out. The silk dress had a plunging neckline and was completely backless. Her pansy necklace from Nev was a perfect match and dangled against the bare skin of her chest, drawing eyes from her face. She wouldn't mind if that vampire wasn't giving her such lecherous looks. Then again, the glares Nev was sending her from where he was attending the bar more than made up for it. He was positively green with jealously.

She'd have to remember to push his buttons more often. It was kind of sexy, that frown he was sending her.

This thought was reinforced several hours later as she made her way back to the Slytherin Common room. She was nearly to entrance when she was pushed into an empty classroom and pressed against the hard wood door as it crashed shut. The smell of fresh dirt, cherries, and pine assaulted her before his lips crashed on hers.

"You're such a fucking tease, Junie," he growled before nipping at her neck, bared due to the updo she'd charmed her hair into. His fingers found pins, and she sighed as he ran his fingers through the curls. "You only did this because I refused to go as a guest."

"I wanted to be able to sit next to you, you know I could have managed it."

"So you tarted yourself up and made me wish I had been sitting next to you rather than Zambini."

"Precisely."

"Merlin, weren't you cold?" He asked, his hands running down her bare back to cup her bum.

"You've always said pansies were a cold weather flower."

"Well, no one thought that tonight. You were smoking hot."

"I have to admit, the uniform Slughorn had you wear was quite dashing."

"I knew you only wanted me for my body," he laughed against her ear before kissing her again.

"We we know it wasn't for your ability to mix drinks. I think that Zambini about spit out whatever you made him."

"That's exactly what I was going for. I don't think he looked away from your tits all night."

"Neither did you," she smirked.

"That's different. These are some very good friends of mine. Excuse me for feeling a little possessive."

"I like when you get possessive."

"I knew it, you manipulative little tart."

* * *

"I thought we talked about taking Ancient Runes rather than Care of Magical Creatures this year," scolded Pansy, frowning over the rather red bite mark on the third year's arm.

"Well… Care of Magical Creatures is just so much more interesting!" protested Tiberius.

"You mean dangerous," she sighed, rubbing some bruise paste on the wound after determining the doxy hadn't broken the skin.

"Well that too," agreed the Gryffindor.

"For my sake you might have chosen to study something that possessed a few less teeth."

"I thought maybe learning more about dangerous creatures might help prevent any dangerous run-ins with them when I'm older. I've decided I want to be an Auror like Harry Potter, and I bet he deals with dangerous creatures all the time."

"Well, his wife might qualify…" muttered Pansy under her breath, thinking of the recent rumor out of St. Mungo's that she'd hexed him during the birth of their last child, and his hospital stay had been longer than hers.

"Professor Longbottom says that Care of Magical Creatures was a really interesting class."

"Hmm…" she said nodding along.

"He knows all sorts of things. Did you know he went to school with Harry Potter!?"

"I remember him being there too," Pansy agreed, wrapping a bandage around the child's arm.

"Wait, you went to school with Harry Potter too, Madame P!?" exclaimed Tiberius, startling her back into focusing on the conversation.

"Well… I didn't share a dorm with him like Longbottom did," she said finally.

"What was he like?"

"Accident-prone," Pansy intoned.

"You're funny sometimes," laughed Tiberius. "I'll have to ask Professor Longbottom if he remembers you." Tiberius hopped off the stool and was out of the hospital wing before she could stop him.

Pansy lived in a state of high anxiety for the next week, worried that Nev would storm in demanding she leave Hogwarts any second. She was sure Tiberius was going to rat her out, but luckily he was a rather forgetful lad. It wasn't until the fourth week of term that the inevitable occurred.

"Don't worry, Madame P. will fix you right up. She's great!" She recognized Tiberius' voice from her office where she was doing some paperwork. Maybe he was bringing in a patient besides himself for once.

"I'm sure she has plenty experience with firegrass burns," agreed a deep voice that caused her heart to stop. She looked up as the door to her office flung open, and the third year hurried into the room, helping himself to a candy from the bowl on her desk.

"Hey Madame P. You remember I told you about Professor Longbottom. I accidentally set my herbology project on fire, and he happened to get the worst of it. What do we have for that?" She tried to focus on the dark haired third year who was popping lemon drops into his mouth. Her heart had skipped a beat at the sight of him, picking up the pace.

Neville was staring at her with his mouth hanging open. So much for hoping he might pull a Potter and not recognize her. Up close, he looked as handsome as ever, even with his mouth hanging open. His were features even more chiseled than she remembered, having lost what was left of his boyishness. His hair was darker too, he already had a shadow of growth on his jaw, and it was only four.

"Burn ointment," she murmured coming back to herself. Turning she took a moment to regain her composure as she searched the cabinet. Looking back, she found he had collected himself as well, his bright blue eyes narrowed at her. She set it on the edge of the desk. "There you are, Professor."

Her stomach hurt. She glanced at Tiberius who looked rather pleased with himself. "Don't you have dueling club before dinner?" she asked the boy. She hated that she knew this, but he usually reported to her promptly after club with a new injury.

"Oh yeah! Later Madame P!" he called over his shoulder as he dashed off. He would certainly be back before the end of the day. Looking back at Neville, she was glad she had sat back down, because she felt a little weak at the knees.

"What exactly are you doing here Parkinson?" he demanded, his voice that of a cool auror interrogating a suspect.

"Working," she answered with a shrug, surprised to find her voice still worked.

"I thought I told you I never wanted to see you again," he growled.

"Well, considering _you're_ the one in _my_ office…" she said looking around. "I'd say this isn't really my fault."

"What do you call taking a job at Hogwarts?"

"Well, in your case, I might call it stalking- except I don't think you actually knew I worked here."

"For how long?!"

"This is only my second year."

"Why wasn't I told?"

"Perhaps because no one thought you would care?"

"I can't believe McGonagall actually hired you."

"You might be surprised I graduated top of my class in healing and took a specialty in Pediatrics. It isn't as if I didn't have any experience in the field," she snapped sarcastically.

"I don't believe this," he ran a frustrated hand through his hair, the gesture an echo of their past.

"The hospital wing is about as far away from the greenhouses as you can get. You'll barely have to see me," she pointed out as he stormed through the door. She frowned at the jar of burn ointment he had forgotten on the edge of her desk.

"Somebody's in trouble!" sang Parvati from the doorway less than two hours later. Pansy had just finished up with Tiberius' post dueling club injuries, luckily only green hair.

"Please tell me it's that swotty sixth year Ravenclaw with the smart mouth," replied Pansy tucking her wand into the pocket of her robes.

"No- it's Longbottom. Minerva actually scolded him in front of the students during dinner. I'm not sure what he said, but she wasn't happy."

"Oh Merlin…" muttered Pansy.

"All I could think was that his face looked just like that third year when she told him off for letting Sirius Black get hold of the common room password."

"I wouldn't know."

"It was so classic Longbottom. He was so bumbling when we were younger. A total oaf!"

"Don't say that!" snapped Pansy before she could stop herself.

"Don't act like you two were best friends," laughed Parvati before she looked at Pansy closer.

"Stop!" demanded Pansy, shaking her head.

"Oh Merlin," gasped Patel, her hand flying to her mouth with a rattle of her bangles. "I'm so… I didn't…"

"You know nothing Parvati Patel!" protested Pansy. "And you'll keep your big fat mouth shut right this minute if you know what's good for you."

"Well if that's how you want to be," huffed Parvati looking extremely put out.

Pansy putted around the empty ward in silence, tidying while Patel sat quietly before finally bursting out. "Does _anyone_ else know?"

"I'm not quite sure… Draco? Probably. _Maybe_ Lovegood."

"One never really knows with her, do they?"

* * *

"There are rumors you're secretly snogging Lovegood," she pouted.

"Well, it's Valentine's day and I'm here with you rather than… snogging Luna. I know you don't actually believe those rumors."

"No. She's been too busy snogging my idiot cousin for the past month to take up with you as well."

"Theo?" Neville's eyes betrayed the shock.

"Apparently their mutual interest in Arithmancy set off a magical romance. I don't think it hurts that he's always been into blondes. He's so annoying, but she's a bit obtuse isn't she? She might not have noticed his prattish tendencies."

* * *

With their first confrontation out of the way, it seemed she couldn't avoid the great hall forever. McGonagall would get too suspicious. Running into him on a regular basis made her sick to her stomach, but his ability to staunchly avoid eye contact made things easier. As far as she could tell their mutual efforts to avoid having to speak or look at each other were working perfectly. Which was fine with her.

Although, it was hard considering she just wanted to run her fingers through his hair and press his lips to hers. After nine years it shouldn't be this hard. Besides… he was _married_.

To Hannah Abbot of all people. She wasn't even clever! Not half as clever as Nev. And Hufflepuffs had no understanding of sarcasm… at all. How had that even happened? Well… if memory served, Abbot always did have rather nice tits…

She shook her head. He was _married_. She wondered if they had any children. Certainly no one had mentioned any to her. She had sent the twins to her mother's for a month, something that had been planned before the term even started, but they would be back today. She wasn't sure what exactly she was going to do.

"Mummy!" exclaimed the twins as they came through the floo.

"We missed you," Nico informed her, letting her hug him before scurrying off to his room to dump his bag.

"Grandmother's house smells like mothballs," whispered Dahlia.

"Well mine smells like dittany and antiseptic," laughed Pansy.

"But that's just home."

"I see. Did grandmother help you choose a costume for Halloween?" she asked, knowing from the letters her mother had been focused on preparations for the holiday for the past week.

"Yes! I'm going to go as Hermione Granger!" exclaimed Dahlia.

"Ohh…" answered a startled Pansy.

"And I'm going to be HARRY POTTER!" exclaimed Nico jumping down the last five stairs and landing with a thud. He had a pair of wire rimmed glasses perched on his nose, a Gryffindor tie around his neck, imitation black Hogwarts robes as well as a fake wand and what looked to be red ink in the vague shape of a lightning bolt on his forehead.

"An exact likeness," proclaimed Pansy, hiding her shock. Her sarcasm went right over the twins' heads.

"I rather thought so," Nico agreed with all seriousness, and she couldn't help laughing.

A week later, she was in her office. The view from her window proclaiming that fall was drawing to a close, and quidditch season was in full swing. She was mindlessly mixing up some burn ointment. Hagrid was starting the fourth years on fire crabs next week, and she thought it would be prudent to be prepared. Her lack of attention was probably what led to being startled so severely when the door to her office crashed open. The ceramic mixing bowl fell from her hands, shattering on the stone floor, the shards flying into her shins.

"Salazar's sister!" she cursed, hissing in pain, whirling to see a furious looking Professor. His eyes were blue fire, and his lips pursed. She backed against the window, mindless of the broken debris crunching under her feet.

"When were you going to tell me?" he growled, stalking across the room and trapping her between the picture window and his large body. She gulped for air, the room seeming to close in on her. "DAMN IT PANSY! WHEN!?" He crashed his fist against the window pane, the rattle echoing around the small room.

"Well…" she squeaked before clearing her throat and trying again. "I was going to tell you that day I came to the London house. And then I decided to be a selfish bitch!" She finished with a strength she didn't know she had. Throwing his words back in his face with a hiss.

"Merlin be damned! I had rights!"

"You didn't seem very interested that day!" she shot back, wishing the glass at her back didn't feel so frail. She needed something to draw some strength from.

"You did it on purpose! You always were an ugly cow!"

"You didn't seem to think that when you were fucking me every chance you had!"

"Well when it's being offered for free, anything seems decent!"

She slapped him. The loud crack of her palm against his cheek punctuating their argument. "Don't be a tosser, Nev," she whispered. "It's not you."

"You're bleeding," he said suddenly, having caught sight of her legs when he glanced down in shame. The concern in his eyes for the millisecond before he masked them made her heart ache.

* * *

"Junie! I just heard. Are you okay?" demanded Nev, cornering her in the darkened Hospital Wing Corridor. His hands cupped her face before running down her shoulders and arms, rubbing them to bring some warmth to her cool skin.

"I'm fine. Draco's going to be fine. Really… thank goodness for Professor Snape. The whole thing has actually been the most interesting learning experience. I took some notes on the spells Professor Snape was using, Merlin, he's brilliant. He could have been the Head healer at St. Mungo's."

"I never thought I would say this, but I agree we're fortunate to have him. I don't think Harry would have been able to stand having murdered a classmate."

"Drake will be fine. I sat with him for a few hours and gave him his potions. He isn't awake, but I'm sure he'll be up soon making snarky comments about Potter."

"And you're sure you're okay?" His hand tipped her chin up to look him in the eyes as the other one pulled her to him, wrapping around her.

"Well of course I was a little shaken when they brought him in. Pomfrey had me applying pressure for over an hour while they worked on that gash. And then I had to brew blood replenishing potion. You know how awful that smells?" She buried her nose in the collar of Nev's robes, taking a deep breath. He smelled like something straight out of amortentia. Or in other words, the complete opposite of blood replenishing potion.

"Want me to walk you back?" Looking up, Pansy smiled.

"Why thank you for offering," she took his hand and leaned her head against his arm. "That would be lovely." He had grown so tall over the past summer he had to lean quite a ways to brush his lips on her forehead.

"Only you would see a friend having a life threatening injury as a 'most interesting learning experience.'"

* * *

"So I am," agreed Pansy looking down to see the blood, the sight of the blood finally allowing the pain to register. Nev stepped back, and she waved her wand, vanishing the destroyed ointment bowl. "I think you should leave," she said looking back at him.

"Don't think this is over," he retorted, turning on his heel and vacating her office, making the room seem suddenly much bigger.

"It's been over for a long time, Nev," she sighed shaking her head in the remaining silence.

~(O)~

It took him three days to calm down, and this time he sent a letter letting her know he was coming.

He arrived after dinner, and she made an effort to be downstairs rather than upstairs where their children were currently pretending to be Hermione Granger and Harry Potter defeating Winky the Dark Elf. _Their children_ -she'd never thought of them as anything other than hers.

The ward was thankfully empty, although not for long if next week's quidditch match between Slytherin and Gryffindor was much to go by. Even Pansy could foresee that one, despite Parvati's chidings about needing to open her inner eye.

Nev was dressed casually, his outer robes gone, his shirtsleeves rolled to his elbows, his black tie loose around his neck. She licked her lips before looking away and directing her attention at the potions she'd been organizing.

"Hello," she said for lack of a better greeting.

"Parkinson."

"Ah… back to Parkinson. I see how it is. Although to be fair, it was Pansy the other day."

"Stop trying to rile me. I had to let the fifth year practice cheering charms on me this afternoon so I wouldn't be attempted to murder you."

"They must not be very good. Were they remedial students?" she asked sarcastically, biting back a smile. He pinched the bridge of his nose before running a hand through his hair.

"I want joint custody," he finally said.

"Impossible," she replied flatly.

"I'm their father! I have more sway with the Wizegamot than you could possibly imagine. Don't fuck with me Pansy."

"About ten years too late for that!" she shot back snapping the potions case closed. "They don't know you. You aren't their father. You're just another man to them."

"And whose fault is that?"

"Let's ask ourselves… who told _who_ they never wanted to see the other again? Yet you keep coming back for more, don't you?" She couldn't resist taunting him, just a bit.

"DAMN IT! I DIDN'T KNOW!" he shouted, losing his cool completely, his face flushing, his blue eyes sparking.

"WELL YOU MIGHT HAVE IF YOU HADN'T BEEN SO KEEN ON GETTING YOURSELF KILLED!" He'd always been able to flare her passionate side, and she knew her face had to be just as flushed, she could feel the ends of her curls sparking with magic.

"You knew the night of the battle didn't you!?" he gasped, taking a step back. She looked away with a frown. He was never supposed to know that. "DIDN'T YOU?"

"I found out the day before," she confessed quietly, the words spilling out of her mouth against her will.

"You coward!" he growled, crowding her up against the wall where she had slowly backed herself into a corner over the course of their argument.

"YOU'RE RIGHT! I WAS TERRIFIED!" she shrieked pushing against his chest. "You were hell bent on getting killed by the Carrows, and then here was this huge battle arrived at our doorstep! I knew you wouldn't be able to resist trying to get all of us killed!"

"You should have told me," he insisted.

"Yeah, I might have called across the hall and announced it in front of the entire school! _Yo Longbottom! We can't fight this battle since you knocked me up! Let's go hide in the Dungeons until this battle thing blows over!_ I'm sure you would have went for it."

"I meant after!"

"Oh yeah, hey, it's that dreadful girl you used to sleep with who tried to have your best friend murdered. You might have forgotten me, but I'm going to have your love child!" she waved her arms wildly as he stepped closer.

"I could never forget you," he growled, his arm snaking out to pull her closer, and then he was kissing her, his teeth clashing with hers and biting at her lip, his fingers digging into her hip as he pressed her hard into the wall. She kissed back with everything she had, her fingernails raking his scalp, breaking skin on the back of his neck to pull him tighter. It was just like it had always been.

* * *

"I thought maybe you would see this as an interesting learning experience." His tone was hopeful.

"You're a blithering idiot!" she shrieked in his face.

"I'm disappointed you aren't taking the opportunity to take notes on my treatment." He went as far as to push out his bottom lip in an exaggerated pout.

"Nearly being blasted to death by Rabastian Lestrange should be a learning experience for _you_!"

"At least I dodged the majority of the spell. It only grazed me," he pointed out. "It was mostly my right side."

"Which I had to almost completely restructure and regrow, along with half the bones in your body!" She felt flushed and frustrated with his inability to take anything she was saying seriously.

"Come on Pansy. Don't lie, you've enjoyed having me under your tender care for the past two weeks." She adjusted the pillow his left leg was propped on with a little more force than necessary, jarring it in what she hoped was a painful way. She'd had to mend nearly every bone on the right side of his body, and the recovery was slowed considerably since he'd also been hit with an unknown spell that had caused his body to reject nearly every potion they gave him.

"I'm beginning to worry that the curse might have made it to your head after all."

"You weren't that lucky." He gave her that lopsided smile that made her heart melt right along with her anger.

"Merlin, Nev. You were so lucky. You aren't a cat. You don't have nine lives!"

"If I was, surely I would have used them up already."

"Stop making jokes. This isn't funny. You nearly died before Pomfrey and I realized all the potions we were pouring down your throat were making it worse. I know you were unconscious for most of it, but I monitored your breathing for _hours_. Your lungs were particularly stubborn after those potions we gave you."

"Look, I'm fine, or nearly fine now. I can almost sit up by myself, and my breathing has been normal for at least two days."

"I don't think I could stand being here without you," she whispered, scooting closer to him on the bed with a flick of her wand closing his curtains off to the rest of the wing. She gingerly laid her head next to his on the pillow and tucked herself next to him, careful not to jostle his still sore torso. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath of his comforting scent, she could almost pretend nothing had changed at all.

"At least I didn't have to worry about you," he murmured pressing his lips against her forehead.

"Merlin no. The minute I heard there were death eaters in the castle Pomfrey and I warded the Wing."

"Greyback was here." Neville confessed and Pansy shivered.

"I know. I helped treat the oldest Weasley. He's going to be scarred for life."

"Not all scars can be seen. You're different. Don't think I can't tell."

"The war is going to come for us all, regardless of what we want. There's going to be a time when I'm going to have to make a decision, Nev. It scares me."

"You'll make the right one."

"How can you possibly know?"

"Because I love you." Pansy felt her whole body flush with warmth. Neville had never said quite those words.

"I love you too, even if you are an idiot Gryffindork," she whispered, a solitary tear leaking out at the memory of him arriving in the hospital wing, levitated by Weaslette and Lovegood. Lovegood, too observant for her own good had noticed the strangled gasp from Pansy and watched her with an odd look the rest of the evening while Weaselette had merely made a run for her brother's bed where Pomfrey was furiously muttering spells.

It had been Pansy who pulled the floating Neville to a bed and began pouring blood replenishing potion into his mouth and waving her wand to apply pressure dressings while assessing for broken bones, of which there had been almost too many to count. She hadn't told Nev, but he'd nearly lost his entire arm. As it was, she'd grabbed the dittany and spilled more than she might have ordinarily used with her shaking hands. Pomfrey had congratulated her for her quick thinking of mixing it with bruise paste to make an ointment, and Pansy hadn't had the heart to tell her she'd thought she'd grabbed burn ointment, her vision blurred from tears. The dittany and bruise paste had penetrated deep, preventing his spleen from rupturing which would have surely killed him. Especially since he'd vomited every potion they gave him orally. She wasn't certain, but she might have perfected her vessel mending spells, the amount of ruptured vessels and tears in his veins were too many to count.

It had been touch and go for hours, and Pansy knew the scar on her heart would haunt her for many years.

* * *

She pulled away abruptly, pushing him away with as much force as she could muster. He was off balance and staggered a few steps. His chest heaved and his face was red from passion. "You're married!" she sputtered.

"What?" his eyes were still clouded with passion.

"Hannah!" she choked out. "Oh Merlin!" She clawed at her throat, an overwhelming feeling of guilt washing over her.

"It's not like that." He reached out, taking her hand, his face awash with guilt.

"Don't give me excuses!" she snapped. Slipping out of his grasp, she bolted for the hidden staircase leading to the Matron's quarters, warding the passage as she stepped through what looked like a solid wall.

Panting, she listened as he pounded his fists on the portal before climbing the stairs. She wondered if she was locking him out, or locking herself in.

"Time for bed Miss Granger… Mr. Potter," she said finding the twins had managed to tie Winky up using what looked to be the curtains from her bedroom.

"Aww mum! We were just about to feed Lord Winky to the Giant Squid!"

"I'm certain the squid would find him rather chewy. Come along, brush your teeth." She waved her wand to free Winky who shrugged her shoulders and winked at Pansy. "Otherwise Bellatrix Lestrange is going to _get you_!"

The twins squealed as she lunged for them, providing some maniacal cackling.

"NO! MUMMY!" exclaimed Dahlia rushing upstairs. Pansy walked over to the window, her eyes glazing over, thinking of the kiss downstairs. Perhaps he would be satisfied knowing the children as a friend. She didn't think he would be happy if he found out the precautions she'd taken against him ever gaining custody.


	6. Burning down the house

_"Love is a fire._

_But whether it is going to warm your heart_

_or burn down your house,_

_you can never tell."_

_~Joan Crawford_

The grounds a night were often a bit spooky, and Pansy would not have been here alone, but with Nev at her side, she found it peaceful. The heat of the day lingered long past sunset, reminding her in yet another way that summer had truly arrived. They had brought a light picnic to the floating gazebo that sat behind the boathouse. She leaned back against Nev's chest and looked out on the starlit lake with a sigh. This should be romantic and wonderful, but she felt terrified and sad.

The headmaster's funeral had been a week ago, and the seventh years and fifth years were finishing up the exams that couldn't be canceled, but the sixth years had been in a terrible limbo with exams completely canceled. Madame Pomfrey had released Nev from the hospital yesterday, and they had decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather and their last night together for a long while by escaping to the grounds. The crescent moon winked down on them, reminding a sentimental Pansy of the headmaster's half moon glasses.

"You're trembling," murmured Nev, pulling her back to the present with a kiss on the side of her neck as he wrapped his arms a little more tightly around her narrow frame, his strong arms resting alongside hers, his skin warming hers even as she shivered again.

"I'm scared, Nev," she confessed quietly into the darkness. "Dumbledore is gone. Nowhere is safe anymore."

"We haven't lost yet."

"Maybe we shouldn't come back here next year. We could easily move to France. Daphne's said the war won't spread to that side of the channel. You-know-who's only concerned with England. We'll be seventeen this summer. We could get married, buy a cottage right on the coast. You're more than qualified to start a greenhouse."

"Junie, there's no running from this, love," answered Nev, turning her in his arms and cupping her face with his warm hand. "We'll have time for all that after."

"What if there is no after?" sobbed Pansy, pulling him closer, her hands making fists in the fabric of his shirt. "We're Sacred 28, he'll leave us alone. We can just leave. No one will come after us. It only gets worse from here. If we stay, there will only be terror and evil. Nothing good can come of this! I had a dream last night where you were engulfed in flames as you-know-who laughed."

"We know you've never believed in all that divination hippogriff shit."

"Well of course not," she scoffed. "But _Dumbledore_ is _dead_. If we stay, we're sure to be dead too. Let's get married!"

"Are you proposing, luv?" laughed Nev, that arrogant Gryffindor cockiness coming out in his voice.

"Well not if I have to beg!" she huffed.

"We're not running from this. We're not going to let Voldemort scare us into leaving Hogwarts early and running like cowards to get married." Pansy winced at the mention of his name. "We're going to finish school, and then get fantastic jobs, and get married and have about a dozen kids."

"Seriously Nev? A dozen. We aren't Weasleys! I won't be a broodmare. Three or four will do just fine, and if you want more than that, you'll have to find a mistress."

"Alright, quality over quantity then," he chuckled. "Everything's going to be just fine, luv. We'll have each other, and to an extent, you're right. We're pureblooded. We're lucky. If everything goes to shit, we'll be the last on his list, but that's exactly why we need to fight. What does it say about us if we look the other way if You-Know-Who takes over?"

"That we want to live! The rest of the world can rot for all I care. We'd be safe."

"You don't mean that."

"I wish I did," she murmured.

"I won't let anything happen to you."

"I notice you aren't making any promises about yourself," she sobbed, pulling away from his arms. "You're already planning on getting yourself killed and nothing's happened yet!"

"Nothing's happened!?" he shouted gesturing across the lake at the white tomb. "The headmaster is DEAD! Probably at the hand of your best friend! VOLDEMORT is returned! I saw him fight Harry Potter a year ago! No one- not even the bloody _Sacred_ 28 are going to be safe until he's dead and gone for good!

"But why does it have to be you fighting? Why can't we just wait for everything to blow over?"

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men should do nothing! I refuse to do nothing, and you can stand beside me, or behind me, but you're going to have to stand with me on this one."

"You know it goes against my every instinct, but if me standing by your side keeps you alive, that's where I'll be. You know that. I love you more than any other person in the world. I'll do what I have to to protect you."

"That's my Junie," he said, his deep voice rumbling through her as he held her crushed to his chest and kissed her as if it was their last night together on earth. And in the back of her mind she secretly worried it could be. Because who knew what the future held.

* * *

"Trick-or-treat!" chimed the twins on yet another doorstep in Hogsmead. Pansy watched as the elderly witch at the door exclaimed over their costumes. "Oh it's Harry Potter and Hermione Granger!" She called to her husband.

"Make sure you give them lots of candy as a personal thanks for saving the wizarding world!" came her husband's voice of over the sound of a quidditch game on the wireless. The grey haired woman shook her head and dumped several treats into the pumpkin shaped buckets that the twins were collecting their candy in tonight.

"Come along now!" she called. "Romilda Weasley is getting impatient over here." She had charmed her hair bright orange and was wearing a gryffindor tie and a black cloak over her old school uniform. It was a little snug in a few places and she certainly didn't remember her skirt being quite this short, but it might have shrunk in the wash. The twins had begged until she had finally conceded to dress as the third member of the golden trio, but she drew the line at actually dressing as Ron Weasley.

"Ron would die if he saw you like that," came a deep voice from next to her. She looked over to see Neville leaning against a nearby light post, his dark hair falling rakishly across this forehead.

"That makes two of us. Since I'm sure he'd murder me first," she snapped watching as the twins ran up to another house, this time the door opened by Lavender Brown-Finch-Fletchey. Pansy didn't know she lived in Hogsmeade. She whirled her back to the door and looked at Nev who had donned a large wizarding hat with a floppy brim that hid his face in shadow.

"You look terrible with red hair," taunted Nev as they passed under another light while the twins raced down the walk to the next house. Nev fell into step with Pansy, looking like any other set of parents out with their children for the holiday.

"The twins insisted on it. I'm lucky they didn't have me chop it off and cross dress. What are you supposed to be, a stalker?"

"I'm Neville Longbottom!" he said gesturing to his hat and pulling a glistening sword from his robes. "See, Sorting Hat, Sword of Gryffindor. Ring any bells?"

"I hope that's not the real thing," she said looking at his hat. "And you can't go as yourself for Halloween. It's like going as nothing."

"Don't worry, Minnie wouldn't let me take the hat out of the castle."

"And the sword?"

"This old thing?" he lofted it and the ruby in the handle glistened. "They let me keep the fake… the one Snape made. I guess they figured I earned it."

"So you have a near exact replica of the sword of Godric Gryffindor. What do you display it above your fireplace when you aren't using it to kill malicious magical creatures? Or does it hang above your bed to impress the ladies?"

"Something like that," laughed Nev. "You know, when I'm not riding a white hippogriff into battle wearing a golden suit of armor."

"Merlin that's pathetic," she snapped. "It's the golden _trio_ , not the golden quartet. You'd better get going. The twins don't need you here showing off your heroics."

"I'll stay in the shadows. I just wanted to come…" he said softly.

"Fine… but, you don't talk to me." She stalked after the twins, now three houses ahead and greeted them at the end of the walk. She discretely cast a spell on their cauldrons to ensure that all of their candy was safe to eat and no malicious intent detected. One couldn't be too careful.

"Look at all the frogs mum! We're going to have so much fun reading the cards later!" exclaimed Nico.

"And the last house had peanut butter acromaculas!" exclaimed Dahlia.

"Anyone have my favorite Cheering Cherry Chocolates?" she asked poking her hand in Nico's pumpkin before he pulled it away with a laugh.

"Get your own!" he complained with a grin.

"I got one for you mummy!" Dahlia proclaimed, holding out a red and gold wrapped candy.

"Oh, thank you Miss Granger, ten points to Gryffindor," laughed Pansy putting on her best McGonagall impression. The twins raced off and she popped the lush chocolate in her mouth, humming in appreciation as the sweetness and magic exploded on her tongue.

Looking back to see if Nev was still tagging along, she caught his dark look before he whirled away and stalked down the street, past a little skeleton and a banshee. She felt the cheering charm warming her up even as the wind blew coldly. Shrugging, she turned back and followed the twins around the block. They still had quite a few streets to go, and she wanted to make sure they hit up the Flume's who lived around the corner. The owners of Honeydukes were sure to be handing out the absolute best treats.

She felt her ire growing the longer this took. When Winky had told her the twins were down in the greenhouses with the herbology professor, she hadn't thought to ask which one. Storming past each glassed structure and peering in brought back memories of another time peering in windows, although much more discretely.

* * *

Draco came back to school for seventh year. He'd been gone all summer, and it confirmed what Kingsley had confided in her father this summer. The ministry was truly under The Dark Lord's control. The newspapers too if the recent editions of the Prophet were much to go by.

The train seemed empty when she arrived at the platform. School attendance was mandatory, and Pansy watched from the corner of her eye as the few muggleborns who had stupidly obeyed the dictate were escorted from the platform by black robed ministry officials.

She wondered if he would be here, but he was a pureblood. One of the Sacred 28 families. He would be safe. They would be safe. She hurried down the train corridors until she passed a compartment where he and Weaselette and Lovegood were sprawled. Rumor had it that Weasleby had spattergoit, but his sister looked tense and pale. Nev had the appearance of being relaxed, his long legs sprawled across the compartment, but his wand was sitting on the seat next to him, easily within reach.

"What are you looking at Parkinson?" snapped the redhead, causing Pansy to blush at being caught staring. His hair was longer, and there was a slight curl at the ends. She remembered the honey blonde it had been when they were in first and second years before he'd hit puberty and it had started darkening. At this rate, it would be black by the time he was thirty.

"I'm surprised the three of you weren't escorted off the platform as well. Considering that half the ministry is hunting your idiot boyfriend," she sneered.

"You just wish you had a boyfriend as brave and handsome as Harry," shot back Ginny.

"Why would I want Potter when I can have someone so much better," laughed Pansy with genuine amusement, causing Ginny to turn as red as her hair. Pansy couldn't help but notice that Nev was trying not to show his embarrassment. "I'll have you know, Harry Potter isn't half the man I'm seeing."

"Draco's a sniveling little murdering coward, you cunt!" exclaimed Weaselette, hopping to her feet and pointing her wand at Pansy.

"Well I never said I was dating Draco," huffed Pansy with a roll of her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. She made a face. "He and I should have a good laugh about that. Excuse me while I go find him."

Pansy ignored Ginny's bewildered expression and turned on her heel back the way she came, relieved. He was safe. He was coming to Hogwarts with her. Wasn't he the one who had said it was the safest place to be?

* * *

She found them in greenhouse six. Of all the places. Dahlia was perched on a table poking a potted plant with bright red flowers and glowing thorns. Nico looked to be getting his hands dirty in a large pallet of dirt, pressing seeds into the moist soil.

"It's pretty, but what does it do?" she heard Dahlia complain.

"Can't it just be pretty?" she heard Nev ask over his shoulder. His back was to the room at large as he sorted through some bags of fertilizer, hefting a large bag on his shoulder with muscles she knew were well hidden under his black robes.

"That's so boring. Mummy says the best things are useful _and_ pretty," Dahlia informed Neville, using a tone Pansy found a little too similar to Draco's for her liking.

"Well, that is fire flower, and you're right- it's not just pretty. It's used in potions to treat hypothermia, and it's an important ingredient in pepper-up potion."

"Hmm," pondered her daughter, investigating the oddly shaped leaves. "What's the scientific name?"

"Rubeusflor Targarean," answered Nev absently. "There's a Blue Fire Flower too, Caeruleusflor Targarean."

"Maybe I should grow _that_ one… I'm going to give it to my mum and I want it to match her eyes."

"In that case you'll need to cultivate some Poison Heart Pansies."

"No… we gave her those last year for her birthday," sighed Dahlia. "Professor Sprout suggested them. Plus, they match this necklace she always wears."

"Well, I'll have to order in the Blue Fire Flower seeds, but we can grow those easily enough in greenhouse one." Nev dumped the heavy bag of fertilizer on a potting bench and turned, presumably to grab the pallet of soil that Nico had been planting. Pansy decided this would be a good time to assert herself and let the door shut loudly as she stepped into the room.

"I've been looking for you two," she said, causing her twins to turn with matching innocent expressions.

"Professor Neville said we could help him plant some seedlings," answered Dahlia quickly. "He doesn't mind if we keep him company."

"I'm sure, but it's time for dinner, and Winky will have to make sure you both get baths tonight. I'm sure there is plenty of dirt under those fingernails. Perhaps Professor Longbottom can loan you some gardening gloves the next time you're playing in the dirt." She watched Nev frown as she referred to him by his last name.

"Yes mum," said Nico. "What's for dinner?"

"I'm not certain, but don't wait for me. I'll be dining in the hall with the professors tonight."

"Bye Professor Neville!" sang the twins with a wave, hurrying out of the greenhouses and heading to the castle.

"It's getting dark earlier and earlier, and I like to have them back to the castle by nightfall," she said a little harshly, turning to Nev with her arms crossed. It wasn't precisely dark yet, but she hadn't exactly enjoyed finding the twins in his company. She walked to the potting bench to inspect what Nico had been planting. They looked to be fire bush seeds.

"Always needing to undermine my authority," growled Nev.

"And they should be referring to you as Professor Longbottom."

"They'll call me whatever they damn well please."

"It's disrespectful."

"It won't be when I petition for custody."

"You might find that harder than you expect."

"You mean since they were born in France and I'll have to petition the Sorcerer's Senate for a paternity test before I can even have my case heard?"

"Yes…" she answered, surprised to find he must have already done some research. "And you'll find you'll have to go through the Head Warlock, just to have your case heard. And what were your words again? 'I have more sway with them than you could possibly imagine. Don't fuck with me?'" She threw his words back in his face. "I may or may not have cured his daughter of a blood curse a few years back. Best of luck getting your paternity test!"

"You sneaky little bitch!" he snarled, coming nose to nose with her, causing her to back herself into the desk as his fist crashed down on the desk in frustration.

"If there's one thing I've always been better at than you, it was self preservation," she smirked.

"Damn it Pansy. You can't deny they're mine!" he shouted, his hands gripping her shoulders as he shook her in frustration.

"Till my dying breath," she hissed through her teeth. She knew she was being stubborn, but nine years had taught her well.

"Don't think it couldn't be arranged," he spat back, his face red and his eyes icy with fire.

"You don't have it in you, Longbottom," she taunted before his lips crashed against hers. His hand went to her hair, tugging her head back and allowing him to deepen the kiss while he used the other to haul her onto the edge of the desk. Her hands slipped under his robes and around his back, clutching at the fabric of his white oxford underneath. His teeth bit her lower lip hard, and she couldn't help but moan softly. She'd always liked it when he was a little rough with her, when he lost control.

His hand ran up her thigh as he stepped between her legs, pulling their bodies together. Instinctively she rubbed herself against him, and he yanked her hair again, hard.

"You're so hot for me, you little snake," he growled in her ear before he bit it, making her gasp.

"Please, Nev," she begged, forgetting herself, suddenly nine years in the past. If she had been in her right mind, she might have considered that greenhouse six wasn't exactly the place, and this might be a colossal mistake, but she'd forgotten all her reasons not to the second she'd caught that whiff of pine and fresh dirt that clung to him.

It was a quick and rough joining, practically over before it began. She clung to him to keep from falling back into the pallet of seedlings behind her. She couldn't catch her breath, and she was sweaty, still fully clothed. He was breathing hard as well, and the hair at the back of his neck was damp where her hand still rested.

His sudden stepping away caused her to lose her balance and fall back, her hand landing in the wet soil with a gasp. He righted his clothes smoothly as she blushed and pulled her skirt back to her knees, pushing herself off the potting table.

"Junie…" he began causing her to grasp the reality of what had just happened as it washed over her like cold water.

"Oh Merlin," she gasped, her breath coming even harder than it had minutes ago.

"Junie…" he stepped back toward her, reaching with his dirt covered hands. She pulled away, side stepping him and dashing out of the greenhouse while he tripped over the pallet of freshly planted seeds that she had dragged off the table behind her.

Dashing toward the castle would only put her in the entrance hall just as dinner was finishing up. Instead, she cast a disillusionment charm on herself and headed to the covered bridge near the clock tower. The November air was cold, but not frigid enough to freeze the tears that fell when she collapsed on the ground of the bridge, hidden from prying eyes and the wind.

She was 'the other woman.' Neville was married, and she'd allowed herself to get so caught up in the moment she forgot… again. She'd begged for him to take her, carried along by the passion their argument had fueled, allowing herself to forget their past. The bile rising in her throat overcame her, and she leaned over the side of the bridge, vomiting the contents of her stomach until she was dry heaving.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there, but it was well past dark by the time she rose on shaky, frozen legs to return to the castle. She slunk in a side door, taking lesser traveled passages toward the hospital wing.

Unfortunately, one of these passed directly under the divination tower, and she practically ran right into Parvati.

"Good Godric!" exclaimed the woman, confirming to Pansy that she must look a fright. "What happened to you?" She grasped both her arms as if to feel for herself that Pansy wasn't injured.

"I…. I…"

"Come on, we'll get you a cup of tea in my apartments," she declared, wrapping her arm over Pansy's shoulders and pulling her up the nearby stairs. Pansy followed numbly, in a bit of a haze.

She sat quietly until Parvati placed a warm cup in her hands and then she drank automatically.

"Have you eaten dinner?" asked Parvati finally, drawing Pansy's attention. She shook her head, and finished her tea while Parvati summoned her elf with some warm soup, which Pansy spooned into her mouth dutifully.

"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Parvati after Pansy had pushed the half eaten bowl away.

Looking into her friend's dark eyes, Pansy didn't see any judgment, and she wasn't sure if she could handle this mess on her own. "I shagged Longbottom," she stated candidly, the shock value of the statement having little to no effect on Parvati who simply blinked at her calmly.

"Well that would explain the muddy handprint on your breast," Parvati conceded, pouring a second cup of tea for both of them. Pansy looked down and found her pale blue button down did sport a distinctive muddy handprint.

"I didn't mean to…" protested Pansy, the dam breaking. "We were arguing again, and suddenly we were snogging, and I swear that man makes me forget my own bloody name." Her hands curled into tight fists of frustration. "I told him it couldn't happen again! He's the one that's married, he should hold some responsibility for keeping his vows!"

"This happened before?!" exclaimed Parvati, her eyebrows finally responding to some of the shock value.

"Well… we snogged about a week ago, but not… it was fast and dirty, but it happened. I let it happen. Salazar, I practically begged him!"

"Well…" said Parvati, seeing the guilt and anguish in her friends eyes. "It does take two to tango. And if it makes you feel any better, I don't think things have been well with Neville and Ha-his wife for some time now." She stumbled over her words, attempting to avoid saying the name.

"It's inexcusable… I'm finally a terrible person. I can live with being the witch who suggested turning Harry Potter over to You-Know-Bloody-Who, but I'm not sure I can live with this." Pansy ran her hands through her hair, making it wilder than the wind and her time in the greenhouse had already managed.

"It… Oh Godric, I shouldn't tell you this. Padma heard from Lavender, who heard from Susan that Hannah has been living with Ernie for the past two and a half years."

"Stop making things up to make me feel better."

"I'm not!" protested Parvati. "Susan said that Hannah got pregnant a few years back, but she miscarried. The healers determined that she and Neville can't have children together- they both have some sort of rare genetic magical traits that make their magic completely incompatible. Any child they conceive will miscarry before the third trimester. They were devastated and their grief pushed them apart. Neville started going on all these international auror missions, and she was really depressed since she has always wanted children. She eventually started living above the Leaky where she works, and Ernie moved in less than a month after that. Why do you think he moved to Hogwarts without bringing his wife along? They are only together because Neville doesn't want to upset his Gran by getting a divorce, and she is afraid Ernie will want to start trying to have children and she'll find out that they are incompatible as well."

"They lost a baby?" whispered Pansy, unable to grasp anything beyond that.

"Hannah didn't leave the house for months. Susan said they had done up the nursery in yellow and green rabbits, and Nev just absolutely destroyed it in a fit of magic."

"She'll be devastated if she hears about Dahlia and Nicolas," Pansy realized.

"Or maybe she'll be hopeful that she could have children with someone else!" pointed out Parvati.

"Nev was always so jealous. I don't know if I believe you. Surely he wouldn't let his wife live openly with another man."

"I think he and Hannah have been over for a long time... when they first got married, everyone knew they were good friends, but I don't know if I ever saw the spark like the one between the two of you. I mean… you guys can be four seats apart at the professor's table for dinner and everyone can still feel the sexual tension."

"That's repressed hatred," Pansy disputed.

"Well… the next time your _hatred_ bursts out into the open, let's hope there aren't any students around. From the looks of it, you guys went at it hard." Parvati cocked an eyebrow at her friend and smirked into her tea, while Pansy groaned and laid her head on the table. "I've always wondered… is he any good? He looks like he would be now, but all I can remember is him stumbling about with his buck teeth and remembrall when we were first years."

"I'm not going to dignify that question with an answer," snapped Pansy. "It's inappropriate on so many professional levels, Professor Patel."

"Nearly as inappropriate as you and Professor Longbottom doing the dirty in green house three?"

"Touché," muttered Pansy getting up and moving to the fireplace. It was time she floo-ed back to the hospital wing for the night. "And it was greenhouse six." She tossed a smirk at Parvati before stepping into the fire.


	7. A mistake or a decision

" _A mistake repeated more than once is a decision."_

_~Neville Longbottom_

"I think you're going to have to stay the night in the hospital wing tonight, Tiberius," said Pansy, dabbing dittany on the long line of stitches she'd just wove into the third year's leg.

"But Madame P, I'm going to miss Venetia's birthday party! Darius and Martin even got butterbeer!"

"Well…" she paused looking at her even stitches. He probably wouldn't even have a scar from his run in with the Bicorn in Care of Magical Creatures. The sharp horns weren't particularly dangerous, unless you're standing on the fence and fall into one, grazing your entire leg on the sharpest part. Only Tiberius. "How about I keep you through dinner and have a tray brought up? If I think you're good to walk back to the common room, I'll allow you out if you promise to rest your leg tonight."

"Please?" his pretty little pout was what did it. She was such a softie for the clumsy gryffindork, and she didn't like to think too long on why.

"Deal, just don't pull out my stitches, and I think they will be completely set by the time dinner comes around."

"When did you get so good at stitches, Madame P?" he asked, examining the neat row of silvery magical threads that decorated his thigh.

"Mostly during the war," she said, sharing something she had never told anyone, not even her Healing Mentors.

* * *

Hogwarts. Safe. What a joke that had turned out to be, thought Pansy as she gripped her desk with white knuckles and watched Professor Carrow perform a slashing movement with his wand, causing Nev's knees to buckle and a bright red stream of blood to appear on his face.

_SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP_! She chanted in her mind as he talked back to the professor. His insolence was once again rewarded with a slashing hex, this time to his wand arm, his neatly tailored robes tearing, but the dark fabric absorbing any blood.

"Have a seat, Mr. Longbottom and be grateful that the headmaster still believes you might have some promise in the Dark Arts. Now. Back to what we were discussing before…"

Pansy couldn't hear the rest of the lesson. She was too absorbed with watching as Nev slowly slumped further and further in his seat. The Patel Twin at his elbow and Finnegan and Brown didn't seem to notice their housemate struggling to gather his books as class ended, but she knew they were just being idiot gryffindors. Pretending strength in times of weakness was a pride of gryffindors. She watched Nev wave them on at the end of the corridor before slumping into a window alcove.

Looking over her shoulder, she hurried across the hall and whipped out her wand, furiously whispering healing spells, knitting the skin of his arm back together quickly.

"I'm going to have to owl my dad for more dittany if you keep this up. Madame Pomfrey is starting to suspect someone is snitching things from her stores! I'll let you guess who is primary suspect number one!"

"I can't just sit and listen to their lies!"

"I don't like it either, but we need to survive this year. If you want to help Scarhead, you have to stay alive, and I don't trust these idiots to restrain themselves if you push their buttons much farther! You're lucky the headmaster only gave you detention for that stunt with Weaselette and Lovegood last week! The Sword of Gryffindor!? Honestly?!" She ran her thumb over the line bisecting his eyebrow. She'd become an expert in hurried healing between classes. The Carrows weren't exactly observant, but they had to notice that Neville rarely appeared in the infirmary but his injuries continued to be tended. She wasn't sure what sort of punishment she could get for her efforts, but she wasn't about to allow her handsome boyfriend to walk around bleeding all over the school.

"You might consider not nodding along with everything those inbred idiots are preaching."

"If it keeps me alive, I'll stand on my desk and sing the Chudley Cannons fight song. I can't keep doing this! Watching her torture you in Muggle studies was enough last week!" Pansy felt tears slipping down her cheeks.

"Shhh… Don't cry Junie."

"Well, I couldn't very well in the middle of class while they tortured you like Brown and Patel did!" she sobbed into her robes, and he pulled her into his arms, keeping them hidden in the alcove when footsteps passed a few moments later.

"It's going to be fine. Hogwarts is the site of the last resistance. We're reassembling Dumbledore's Army. I can't give up without a fight. You know it's not in me."

"And you know it's not in me! Don't even ask, I'm not joining your stupid little army. We should have run off this summer! We could be honeymooning in Fiji right now!"

"Pansy. At the end of all this, history won't be kind to those that aren't on the right side. You don't believe any of their non-sense. We need to fight this, or this is the world our children will live in."

"But don't you see! They will at least be alive!" whined Pansy. "You're going to get yourself killed!"

"Well, I've got this healer on call to tend all my injuries, so perhaps not today," he joked before hiking his bag over his shoulder. "Stop worrying so much. The Carrows aren't going to murder a pureblooded member of the Sacred 28 on Hogwarts grounds."

"Just promise me you'll be careful. I know you're behind some of the other recent events," she hugged him tightly thinking of the recent graffiti in the great hall.

"Yes, love," he replied dutifully pecking her on the lips before hurrying down the corridor. He was sure to be late for his next class. She sighed and headed to the infirmary. It had been full of children who had ended up on the wrong side of the Carrows lately. She was becoming quite the expert in stitches.

* * *

It was a week before she managed to bring herself to return to the greenhouses. The first snow had fallen, and despite having bundled up in boots, her robes, and a heavy cloak, she was freezing by the time she spotted his figure moving behind the frosty glass. Stepping in the room, she was glad to feel the warm humidity.

He turned, spotting her immediately.

"Pansy!" he greeted, brushing some dirt off his hands and crossing the room. "Let me take that," he said tossing her cloak and scarf over his arm. She thanked him as he hung them on a rack by the door, and crossed the room to look at a tropical plant the seventh years must be cultivating as there were many in pots along the wall. She needed to put some space between them. She hadn't seen him since… the incident.

"What are you doing here?" he finally asked leaning against his desk and crossing his arms to keep from fidgeting, having crossed the room while she pretended interest in the plants.

"I…" she looked around at loss for words.

"Would you like to come into my office for a cup of tea?" he asked suddenly. Realizing they were in greenhouse 7, the one that connected to the Herbology Professor's private residence and office, she nodded.

Skirting around the desk, she followed him through the multitude of plants to the very back of the greenhouse into the small, two story brick cottage, built off the glasshouse.

He led her through the small office where she could remember having her career counseling meeting with Professor Sprout, into a decently sized sitting room with a kitchen just beyond. He popped into the kitchen, and she went to the large bay window that looked over the lake. It was nearly frozen over, the students would want to start ice skating any day now.

Nev reappeared at her shoulder, a steaming cup of tea in his hand.

"Thank you," she said taking it and moving to the sofa. It was a cozy room, and the fireplace made it seem cheery.

"Pansy?" Nev finally asked after she allowed the silence to play out.

"Why didn't you tell me about Abbott?" she asked, biting her tongue. That wasn't what she had come here to discuss.

"What about Hannah?" he asked.

"She's your wife… You're apparently comfortable cheating on her. You tell me."

"Hannah and I have been separated for more than a few years, and things were pretty stressed before that."

"Parvati told me as much."

"If you know everything, why are you even here?"

"For something else. But now I want to hear this from you," she demanded.

"Fine! Hannah and I didn't work. We never really did. We tried… but, well we found out early on that we cared about different things. And then there was a baby, and then there wasn't. And the healers said there never would be… not with the two of us together anyways. Hannah said she was leaving me, and I said alright. Then I was alone for a while before I took this job, and there you were. It was like fate was mocking me with what I should have had from the beginning."

"So it's true then… about MacMillan?"

"For some time now," he sighed running his hand through his dark hair, a gesture of frustration she remembered well.

"For someone so concerned with your Gryffindor pride, I'm shocked you'd allow it."

"He makes her happy in a way I never could. He's home every night for dinner, and he's open and he doesn't have the same memories of the war that keep him up at night."

"So he's as basic as she is," mumbled Pansy feeling uncharitable toward the hufflepuffs. "Why didn't you just divorce like normal people?"

"She's afraid to make things with MacMillan anymore serious, I think because she's terrified they won't be able to have children either. And I'm catering to her wishes."

"Don't lie! You're afraid of disappointing your grandmother."

"Well… that too. Merlin, I could never get away with anything with you." She smirked. "So what else brought you here?"

"I… I wanted ask you if you would like to be involved in the twins birthday. It's Friday."

"Just like you to spring something like this on me with no notice," he mumbled, glaring at a stack of essays to be graded. "They will be expecting birthday presents."

"Naturally," she agreed with a nod, taking another sip of tea. "I thought maybe we could have a little surprise party here. They wouldn't be expecting it, and then we could go skating on the lake."

"I don't know how I'm expected to come up with something brilliant on such short notice!" he ran a hand through his hair fixated on the gift.

"It shouldn't be extravagant. They think you a simple acquaintance, and that's all you are."

"Damn it Pansy… you can't have it both ways!"

"I can have it any way I like," she set the tea down, standing and putting her hands on her hips. So much for being civil. She turned toward the door only to find him in her way, taking up more space than he had any right to.

"Out of my way, Longbottom."

"Not until we get to the real reason you came here tonight," he said pulling her into his arms, placing his face inches from hers.

"You think so much of yourself, don't you, Longbottom?"

"Don't tell me you haven't been thinking about me all week," he said, his blue gaze so intense she couldn't look away.

"Oh bugger it," she huffed, her hands going to his hair and pulling his lips down against hers harshly.

They didn't make it to the sofa, missing and falling onto the floor between the oversized ottoman and the softly cushioned sofa.

"Merlin, Junebug, are you okay?" he asked when she shrieked as his entire weight landed on her.

"You overgrown idiot!" she complained when she got her breath back even as she pulled his lips back to hers. She'd be bruised in the morning, but she didn't particularly care.

By the end of it, she'd unbuttoned his shirt, and he'd ripped half the buttons off hers. His tie was hanging loose around his neck and lying between her breasts, but she refused to unwrap her leg from around his and let him go. She wanted to be held just a moment longer, even if they were lying on the hard ground. He pushed fabric of her purple robes and the teal oxford off her shoulder and kissed her shoulder, his hand playing with a curl, twirling it around his finger. Pansy felt completely at peace for the first time in a long while.

The rush of noise that accompanied someone flooing startled her right out of her relaxed state. Pushing Nev off of her, she rolled away from the fire, and scrambled for her wand while trying to close her robes at the same time. Nev scrambled to his feet, pulling up his trousers, and refastening the belt with a surprising air of non-chalance.

"WOAH! Didn't see anything!" came an unfamiliar voice as she frantically tried to do up her missing buttons.

"What are you doing here?" asked Nev, a tone of frustration underlying his words.

"Just thought I'd see how you were doing. Hadn't heard from you in a while," said the male voice.

"Ever heard of owling?" asked Nev. Pansy glanced to see his buttons were done up, and if wasn't for his ruffled hair and his loose tie, he didn't show any signs of what had just happened. She pushed her hair back, knowing he had completely destroyed it. She had wrapped her robes over her chest to hide the missing buttons while stepping into her boots bare footed. Her tights were a lost cause.

"Then I would miss being introduced to your friend here," said the wizard. Pansy could practically hear the grin in his voice. She turned to scowl at him. Whoever this was had ruined a perfectly wonderful evening.

The grin fell off his face. "Aceso?!" he asked, his voice cracking as he glanced between her and Nev.

"Corner," she sighed in greeting. It would be him, with that auburn hair and bright green eyes. He was the first. She would always remember him the most vividly.

* * *

It wasn't until mid January that things got really bad. Pansy was living in a constant state of worry, and when Rachel McNab shook her awake at two in the morning, she knew it wasn't going to be good.

"There's a boy outside the entrance demanding you come speak with him. I was up late studying for my charms exam. He won't stop yelling."

Tossing her dressing gown on over her pajamas, Pansy grabbed her wand, her heart pounding fiercely. Hurrying into the common room, she avoided eye contact with the only other person awake at this time of night, an unfriendly fifth year boy she knew would report everything back to Draco tomorrow.

Hurrying out the passage, she recognized Neville immediately although he had had the sense to cast a Know-me-not charm that might fool someone other than Pansy, who would recognize him anywhere.

"What's so important I had to be dragged out of bed at half two?" she hissed, looking around the corridor worriedly. He didn't appear to be bleeding.

"Hurry, I brought him down here," whispered Nev, pulling her by the wrist and leading her hurriedly to an unused dungeon classroom they commonly used for making out.

"Nev, this is hardly the time," she complained as he waved his wand. She felt her features changing as he cast a know-me-not charm on her.

"I wouldn't have asked if it wasn't important. Madame Pomfrey is off campus tonight, she had to take that second year who was tortured in Muggle Studdies to St. Mungo's. The hospital wing was locked up tighter than the Headmaster's office." He opened the door, and Pansy took in the Head Girl, Padma Patel standing over a nearly unrecognizable and deathly pale Michael Corner.

"NEV! What are we going to do? He started coughing up blood. We need to get a teacher!" she insisted as Pansy was doing a visual workup.

"Shut up and get me some dittany and some powdered moonroot," snapped Pansy, using a quick jab of her wand to clear Corner's lungs. _Where was the bleed?_ She closed her eyes and concentrated, feeling him out internally with her magic. The rib puncturing his lung snapped back into place with a pop and an episky and she hurriedly wove several stitches into the hole.

"Patel, hurry it up with the dittany!" she snapped to find Padma looking at her with awe.

"Who are you?" she demanded, looking between Pansy and Neville.

"The next best thing to Madame Pomfrey in this castle. Nev, I'm going to need to clean all these lashes on his back and arms, and his femur is completely snapped. It's going to be incredibly painful when I set the bone and we don't have any pain potions. You're going to have to hold him down and silence him.

"Can't you wait for Pomfrey to set it?"

"It's a compound fracture and he's bleeding rather profusely. I'm worried he'll lose too much blood by then."

Neville cast an immobilus charm and a silencio while Pansy worked quickly, wincing at the silent scream from the sixth year Gryffindor.

"What was he doing? How did this happen? Where are all the teachers?"

"He was freeing a chained up first year from detention."

"You have to stop this now!" sobbed Pansy as she waved her wand frantically. "This isn't healthy! The first years are only following your examples! Even the slytherins are getting detentions for speaking out now."

Pansy wiped her eyes as Padma returned with a vial of dittany Pansy recognized as coming from Professor Slughorn's stores. Ripping off a strip of Corner's robes, she dabbed it where the bone had been protruding from his skin, watching as the magical stitches she had woven tightened and the grayish flesh pinked.

"What else can I do?" demanded Padma, still looking at Pansy in awe.

"We need to get him to the hospital wing. Pomfrey will want to improve on my work as soon as possible. Of all the times…"

"Thank Merlin Neville knew where to find you!"

"You're all going to end up getting yourselves killed!" scolded Pansy wrapping some conjured bandages around Corner's leg. She cast an anti-infection charm for good measure. The strongest one she knew.

"Thanks," whispered Nev as Pansy levitated the immobile Corner into the air with a wave of her wand.

"Now try and get him to the hospital wing in one piece. You're head girl and have an excuse to be out past curfew. Say you found him like this and thought he perhaps fell down the stairs. The teachers will know what happened, but the Carrows will be content with the lie."

"I'll go with you."

"NO! Patel goes alone. You're already on the ministry's watch list. You need to be tucked in your dorm when he gets there."

"She's right. The Carrows have been trying to draw you out as the true leader for a while. We don't need to give any excuses."

"And the DA needs to go underground now. No more overt resistance. Otherwise, half of you won't make it to the end of term."

"Thanks," whispered Patel, pulling the levitated Corner behind her.

"I knew you could come through," murmured Neville as she sagged into his arms. Her pale blue dressing gown was covered in blood, and with the adrenaline wearing off, she was starting to shake.

"But I might not have," she whispered. "I want one of those coins for next time. It will be faster."

"How do you know there will be a next time?"

"Because Madame Pomfrey isn't at St. Mungo's. The Carrows have taken to locking her in the hospital wing at night so she can't go round to the dorms and administer healing potions after detentions. They want everyone to suffer overnight. Patel is going to have to leave Corner in the corridor, but I'm hoping a house elf will be able to bring him into the ward. Everyone seems to forget about them."

"But if the Matron can't respond to red sparks, what if someone has an emergency?"

"That's why you need me," she whispered holding out her hand. "You've convinced me, Longbottom. I'll join your stupid secret society, but no one is to know it's me. I'll have a wizard's oath on that one."

"You know I'd never betray you," he murmured against her lips. And she did believe him.

* * *

"We thought you were dead!" blurted Corner, his mouth still hanging open in shock.

"As you can see, I'm very much alive," she deadpanned, looking at Nev and trying to silently communicate with him to get rid of Corner. He had a pained expression on his face, and she could tell he was torn.

"But you never came to any of the reunions! And no one knew who you were to find you!"

"As if I wanted to reminisce with you idiot gryffindorks," she mumbled, feeling more uncomfortable by the second. She was half dressed and the only thing preventing her from being exposed was a hastily cast know-me-not charm that changed her face to the one commonly used years prior.

"I don't remember you being this unfriendly," joked Corner.

"I don't remember being this uncomfortable," she snapped.

"Oh… right… so you and Longbottom? Is this a new thing?"

"Godric Corner- stop being so obtuse. Get the bloody fuck out of here!" Neville finally ordered, the DA leader he had been coming out.

"Woah! All you had to do was ask!" replied Corner, tossing his hands up, his upper body disappearing back into the green flames. He tossed a wink at Neville. "I'll be sure to owl next time."

"Oh Salzar!" moaned Pansy, collapsing on the sofa and countering the charm disguising her features. "Now everyone's going to hear about this!"

"It was just Corner. He's always been a bit of a prat, but he doesn't even know who you are."

"He won't be able to resist telling everyone about finding you in flagrante delicto with some trollop who turned out to be the elusive Aceso!"

"He might not tell everyone…" Nev argued unconvincingly.

"UGGH!" she exclaimed, tossing her hands in the air. "I'VE NEVER BEEN SO EMBARRASSED IN MY LIFE!" she exclaimed as she stormed out the door.

"Pansy!" called Neville after her, but she was halfway through the greenhouse with her cloak in hand by the time he'd managed to slip his shoes back on.

By the time he'd gone back for his cloak, she was out of sight. "DAMN IT!" he shouted, shooting a blasting spell at a nearby snowman one of the students had made, causing it to explode so violently it knocked over all three of its companions. Storming back to his residence, he was already thinking some rather choice words for Corner. He'd have to ward his floo in the future, something he hadn't had to think about in years.

* * *

"Long time no see, luv."

"I've been angry with you," she replied honestly, pouring herself a cup of tea from the self warming pot on the desk.

"I figured that one out for myself, funnily enough," he said leaning back in his chair and folding his hands in front of him as he watched her take a sip of the tea. She was certain he didn't miss the trembling in her hand as she lowered the cup back onto the saucer.

"Oh, what tipped you off?"

"When you didn't get back to any of my owls after term started, I thought maybe it was just a busy month. But the damn ferret you sent Scorpius for his birthday was a bit more than a hint."

"I've even convinced McGonagall to include them on the list of allowed familiars. He'll be able to bring it to Hogwarts," she sent him a particularly self satisfied smirk.

"I hope you know he's named the thing Mad-Eye. I consider this entirely your fault."

"Mhmm…." She agreed taking another calming sip of tea, her mouth turned up in the corners.

"Although I suppose I deserved it."

"Ahhhh, and the truth comes out, does it?"

"Okay, so I admit. I didn't say anything. I mean, when father told me the governors were approving a new person for the position, I didn't think much, and then Neville was over for dinner and told me. But then, I though, you know I have never told him anything that happens with you, so why should I be your little spy? I feel like Snape sometimes, playing both sides of this stupid war."

"Good thing Neville doesn't know you're also feeding information to me," she taunted. "Speaking of which, the fact that he and Hannah have been separated for the past three years might have been something to mention."

"Once again, didn't feel like it was my place to say anything, Pans."

"Not once in the past three years?!"

"Nor did I feel like it was my place to mention anything about the twins to Neville for the past nine!"

She huffed and threw back the rest of her tea. "Fine, I concede the point."

"I'm just trying to remain neutral in all of this. I already told Neville it wasn't my place to say anything and I wasn't going to pick sides."

"YOU ALREADY TALKED TO HIM!?"

"He came to me the day he found out about the twins. Demanded to know what I knew. I think he bought it that I didn't even guess he was the father. It was especially helpful that you've never once confirmed my suspicions. He's always been a bit thick, I worry about Nico, you know."

"Oh shut up! And I admit nothing! As far as anyone knows the twins were immaculately conceived." snapped Pansy. "You are going to tell me everything you told him. And in exchange, I will forgive you for not giving me a heads up about him replacing Sprout."

" _And_ you'll babysit next Friday. Tori and I got tickets to the opera, and mum and dad are going to the Ministry Holiday Party."

"Fine."

An hour later, Pansy was slipping her shoes back on and preparing to leave, having drank all of Draco's tea and eaten the majority of his tea cakes. Under duress she _might_ admit that was where the twins got their sweet tooth.

"Also, I heard it through the grapevine that Nev's seeing someone," Draco dropped casually as she was collecting her things. Her head shot up and she glared at his stupid handsome face.

" _Draco_ ," she said in a deadly voice.

"Fine… you're no fun at all. Apparently he had a mystery shag with some bird that the Gryffindors remember from the war. Astoria heard about it from Hermione when they saw each other in court yesterday. Apparently the D.A. crowd is just abuzz with the tidbit of juicy gossip."

"Uggh!" moaned Pansy, throwing herself back onto the sofa dramatically.

"Now who's been holding out on whom for nine years?"

"Draco Malfoy, you can find your own bloody babysitter for next week," she spat. "Why doesn't Tori ask Granger?" She called over her shoulder before storming out of his office toward the floo to take her back to Hogsmeade.

Draco gave a disgusted shiver and shook his head looking down at the paperwork on his desk. Maybe he could convince Greg and Millie to babysit. He honestly wondered what Pansy had been keeping from him for nine years. The way he remembered seventh year she had spent most of it studying in the hospital wing, but he'd realized it must have been a little more eventful a long time ago.


	8. 999,999

_The love a lifetime is worth at least a million tries. ~Alice Longbottom_

The ice skates Nev gifted the twins with for their birthday turned out to be the perfect present. When the four of them took to the ice on the lake after having tea and cake together after Nev's last class of the day, Pansy felt almost like a family. Nev was surprisingly graceful on the ice, all traces of the clumsy boy he'd been vanished with Auror training. Nico was of course flying across the ice, heedless of the many times he'd already fallen, while Lia was more cautious.

They returned to Nev's for hot chocolate after, the steaming cocoa peppery with the dash of ground fire-seed he added.

"Thank you for the birthday treats," Lia said taking a sip of her chocolate.

"It's not every day my favorite little girl turns nine," he laughed.

"I'm your favorite?" asked Lia, her voice full of awe. Nev shot Pansy a guarded glance.

"I'm pretty sure you're everyone's favorite little girl, love," Pansy interjected saving them. She wasn't ready, and she appreciated the fact that Nev was finally acknowledging that.

"What about me, Uncle Nev!?" demanded Nicolas, not to be outdone.

"Well… it was a tough choice between you and that Bork kid, but I'd have to say you're my favorite too," Nev said with a wink, clearly glowing with pleasure at the familiar address.

"Well… I know two nine year olds that are going to be late for their birthday dinner at their Grandmother's," Pansy finally said.

"Aww… do we have to go? She's going to make us eat fancy food!" complained Nico.

"I have it on good authority she also has birthday presents," cajoled Pansy.

"Okay, I'm ready to go!" exclaimed Nico, getting to his feet. "Can we use your fire place Uncle Nev?"

* * *

Weaselette's face was tight and pale when she got there. A quick diagnostic spell told Pansy this wasn't a curse she had seen before, and confirmed her suspicions it was dark magic.

"We need to get her to Pomfrey," she fretted to the hopeful eyes looking at her for direction. "This is beyond me." If she had the right of it, someone had used magic to pull out She-Weasel's intestines and slash them to ribbons which were now being pressed back into place by a nauseated looking Corner. They looked like they were covered in some sort of boils as well, which didn't bode well for healing. This was a mortal wound. The fear in Weaselette's eyes made her take pity on her, she cast a charm that allowed the girl to lapse into unconsciousness.

"Rockwood and Harrington took her to the ministry for questioning this afternoon. You are the best we have," sobbed Susan Bones, her yellow dressing gown was covered in blood.

"I can't do this here then, SPRINKLE!" a house elf popped into the old dark arts classroom where they had dragged Ginny. "Take us to the hospital wing. Now."

The five students were enveloped with a yellow glow and the house elf appartated them into the hospital wing, Ginny landing with a jolt on an empty bed.

Pansy waved her wand to slow the bleeding before casting a gloving charm on her hands. "Step back and make yourself useful Corner, blood replenishing potion, pour it down her throat. Bones, get me the dittany! No the blue bottle! Nev, look for some boil remover cream. I'm going to try… Oh Merlin… she's…" Pansy bit back a sob of her own as she realized how deep the cuts went.

If they cared about blood purity, they won't be destroying the fertility of a young pureblooded witch. She cast a blood stasis charm on the intestines and worked faster. If she didn't go quickly the flesh would die without blood, but Ginny couldn't afford to continue bleeding, and she only had one set of good hands here. She wove her wand carefully mending the torn fallopian tube, gently finding pieces of intestines that lined up, weaving stitches quickly. Reaching her dirty hands into the tub of cream, she mixed the dittany into the cream manually, creating a sticky mess.

Pulling the intestines back out of the gash on her stomach, she ran the mixture along them, searching for more holes and coating the pale casing. She'd seen Pomfrey perform minor surgeries, an appendectomy, a foreign object removal or two, but this was so beyond that. It was sloppy, dirty, and nothing like what the textbooks she'd studied described. The body cavity was full of blood and the former contents of Ginny's intestines. She siphoned it off with her wand after determining that the intestines no longer had any holes before restoring the blood flow, reversing the clamping charm. She held her breath anxiously, watching for more blood to appear, but the stitches held, and there were no other holes. She prodded around with her wand, finding a tear in a ureter, and another gash along the side of uterus. She wove the last stitches and splashed dittany into the open body cavity, deciding that she'd be as liberal as possible. She finished it off, tucking everything back into place, the pink of the intestines making her hum with approval while the others winced at the awful squelching noise it made.

Heading to Pomfrey's surgical cabinet, she took inventory of what was there, ignoring the bloody mess she was leaving on the bottles she set aside. Finding a jar that met her requirements, she opened it, turning up her nose at the smell. The ground herbs inside smelled rotten, but they were Weasley's best chance against infection. Pouring the contents into a bowl, she sprinkled it over the open wound, making sure she spread it fairly thick and even. After, she set aside the empty bowl and cast a cleaning charm on her hands, regloving them. She used her wand to sew closed the slashes that had opened the girls stomach to begin with. These she wove slowly and carefully, not wanting her to have a scar. When she was done, she dabbed dittany over the seams.

Another diagnostic spell found Ginny's heart rate was elevated, her blood pressure low, and a fever already set in. Pansy cursed, startling the three other students in the wing who had taken to huddling on a nearby cot.

"Oh Merlin," sobbed Corner. "This is all my fault!"

"Shut up!" ordered Pansy, pacing at Ginny's bedside for a few moments before summoning a cauldron. "Re-dose her with blood replenishing potion, two drams. And grind up some fire flower seed into it first. She's got a fever, but I want to raise it."

"Is she going to make it?"asked Susan in a quiet voice.

"Just do it!" snapped Pansy, stalking to Pomfrey's office and grabbing some ingredients from the potions stores. She started brewing a boil remover base. If she didn't add the cream component, she could pour it down Ginny's throat and it would eventually coat the insides of her intestines. That just might work.

Three hours later, Pansy finally excused herself from the main ward and stepped off into Pomfrey's office. The other three had fallen asleep a few hours ago, but she'd been watching over Ginny, monitoring her every breath. Those spells had been meant to kill. Whoever Ginny had run across tonight hadn't been messing about. She leaned over the rubbish can and finally lost whatever was left in her stomach. She dry heaved for a few minutes, her face hot with tears her throat burning from the acid. It wasn't until she felt cool hands pulling back her hair, that she realized she was no longer alone. Looking up, she felt her eyes fill with tears seeing the tears streaking down Nev's face.

"I think she might make it," she finally gasped, waving her wand to vanish the contents of the rubbish bin. "I… I don't think I killed her."

"You mean you saved her," corrected Nev.

"Fuck, Nev. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not a trauma surgical healer! This is so… beyond… Hell, Pomfrey probably would have had to take her to Mungo's. I… I don't know if it worked. Or even how well. For all I know she won't wake up."

"You did your best," Nev wrapped his arms around her, and they held each other on the floor of the hospital wing, waiting for the sun to rise.

When light started peaking over the top of the forbidden forest, Pansy gently extracted herself from Neville's arms, leaving him sleeping against the desk. Returning to Ginny's bedside, she found the fever gone, and Weasley's color and blood pressure right where she wanted it. She redosed her with blood replenishing potion and gave her a second dose of the boil base solution.

"Sprinkle?" she called quietly, as not to wake the others. The elf popped in, looking sleepy. "Return Neville and Ginny to the seventh year Gryffindor boys dormitory. Ginny can recover in Potter's bed. Corner needs to be in his dormitory, as well as Bones. I'll clean this mess up and it will be like we were never here. You are never to tell anyone we were here."

"Yes Miss," answered the elf before popping them all away. She'd have to send Sprinkle with some more potions and directions for Nev, but she had done all she could for Ginny. It was just waiting to see if it worked now.

Two days later, Ginny Weasley had recovered from 'the flu'. She limped her way into the great hall, leaning heavily on Nev and picked at her breakfast.

Pansy shared a look with Nev and hurried to their favorite first floor abandoned classroom. Ginny and Nev showed up ten minutes later.

"I told you I would send pain reliever potion!" she huffed, passing a dark brown vial to Ginny. "When did she wake up?"

"This morning. I thought you would want to check her out."

"She's clearly in mostly working order," Pansy say waving her wand over Ginny who had slumped into the first chair she saw. "Who did this!" Pansy demanded of the Gryffindor.

"I didn't see their face. I was on my way back from detention and there was a death eater. I didn't recognize the mask from the department of Mysteries. I… I don't think he cared who I was, or even knew. I think he had been meeting with Carrow."

"Well if they didn't know someone was healing the students before, they will know now," sighed Pansy. "You really should have died, you know. You Weasleys must be born with nine lives like cats. No wonder you're all Lions."

"Don't make me laugh," groaned Ginny. "It hurts too much."

"I think you'll be hurting a while. I… I don't know if I managed to…" she looked at Nev who left the room, taking the hint. When she and Ginny were alone she took a seat next to the red haired witch, taking her hand. "I did my best, and I think… I think your intestines should be fine. Check in with me over the next few weeks, I want to make sure everything's okay. I… I'll meet you in the alcove in the charms corridor every day before lunch. But… I'm worried that there could be some lasting damage I couldn't fix. I was so worried about you bleeding out. I don't know if you'll be able to have children," confessed Pansy, tears bubbling over. "I… I saw some damage, and I repaired it the best I could with the time I had. But…"

"I'm alive. That's enough for now," Ginny said patting Pansy's hand. "Corner said it was absolutely amazing what you did. And Nev said it was really beyond your training. I'll never be able to repay you, even… even if that means I'll have to adopt."

"Merlin knows this war is creating enough orphans," Pansy mumbled through her tears.

"I won't forget this," whispered Ginny squeezing her hand before Nev came back in. He took one look at the hysterical Pansy and helped Ginny away. Later, when he came back, Pansy was quietly doing an essay for Herbology, and refused to acknowledge anything had happened.

* * *

"You're sure your family won't think anything of it?" asked Pansy for about the tenth time, bending closer to the mirror to inspect the tilt of her hat. It was her favorite blue one that matched her blue short robes. She adjusted the golden wreath pin on the collar of her robes and gave her hair a final pat.

"I told Gran one of my coworkers and former classmates didn't have plans for Christmas and would be celebrating with us."

"It's rather last minute though. You're sure she doesn't mind?"

"I'm sure. Besides, even if she minded, I would mind even more if you had to stay here alone over the holiday."

"I'm sure I could keep myself busy," she protested with a shrug.

"McGonagall didn't allow the dorms to stay open for the holidays and your mum practically kidnapped the twins."

"She's been talking about taking them to Argentina for a long time. And she wanted to surprise them for their birthday with a big trip."

"She didn't have to surprise you as well. You might have gotten leave from McGonagall to go as well."

"I'm sure they will have more fun without me. For as much as they protest going to Parkview, they always talk about it for weeks when they get home. I honestly think they just don't want to hurt my feelings by having too much fun with her. She doesn't work, she can always give them her full attention, and she spoils them terribly."

"Well we are going to miss our portkey to Long Heath Park if you don't hurry up."

"I want to make a good impression! Does my hat look alright?" She did a quick spin as Nev rolled his eyes.

"It looks fine, besides, you're going to take it off within three minutes of walking in the door. I don't see why you need one."

"You wouldn't understand," she shook her head. "Alright."

Five minutes later they landed just outside the gates of the traditional Longbottom home, a rugged looking estate in West Yorkshire. She silently chided herself for being nervous as they passed through the wrought iron gates and up the worn path to the sturdy looking brown brick manor house with a green gabled roof. The winter clearly didn't show the gardens at their best, but there was a large glass house peeking from behind the east wing of the house that promised to showcase Nev's favorite plants.

Nev didn't bother waiting for someone to answer the bell, simply opening the front door for her.

"Chipmunk!" exclaimed a voice seconds after they stepped in the entry just before Nev was practically bowled over by a tall, very thin woman in dark green robes over a Christmas red dress. Pansy smoothed her own robes as Nev embraced the older woman.

"Gran," he said kissing her proffered cheek.

"They aren't feeding you enough at that school. I haven't seen you in months, here you are, looking much too thin. You know I saw you much more often when you were with the ministry."

"It's all that exercise chasing after the first years," he laughed, ignoring her comment about his quitting the Aurors. She'd probably never get over that.

"And who is this lovely lady?" she asked, reaching out to take Pansy's hands.

"Gran, this is Pansy, my coworker at Hogwarts. She's the Matron now. Pansy, this is my Gran, Augusta Longbottom."

"Such a pleasure to meet one of Neville's friends," said Augusta. "I'll put you in the blue room. It will match your eyes so nicely."

"Why thank you, I must say your house is quite charming. I'm quite anticipating the greenhouses as well."

"Oh, I'm sure Neville will want to show you around. Now dear, do tell me about yourself. How does a girl like you find herself alone on Christmas?"

"My mother took my children for a holiday in Argentina, leaving me quite alone. It was so generous of you and Neville to open your home to me for Christmas.

"Well of course! Besides, it's not as if we have to host _that woman_. It would have been quite lonely with just the six of us rattling around in this big old manor. The more the merrier."

"Gran, you have to stop referring to Hannah as 'that woman.' She's my wife."

" _Don't_ remind me," scolded Augusta. "I'm despairing ever getting great grandchildren off this one," she complained to Pansy gesturing at Nev. "You don't happen to be eligible?"

"Gran…" groaned Neville. "Pansy and I have to work together. You're making her uncomfortable."

"What!? I already like this one. _She_ at least has the sense to wear a hat."

Pansy blushed but sent Nev a look as if to say, _I told you so_.

"Oh well… You can't blame an old woman for trying. Now, I thought we could wait for your parents in the library. Winston is going to get us tea, and Uncle Algie and Auntie Enid have probably already started on the tea cakes."

"Nevvie-Poo," exclaimed a rotund little witch as soon as they stepped into the blue and green decorated sitting room. Her short grey curls bounced under the brim of an dark green hat that set off the color of her red robes, making her look a bit like a round tomato.

"Aunt Enid," said Neville, holding back a wince as his great Aunt suffocated him in a warm embrace.

"Thinner every time I see you," she scolded. "I made my meringue pie especially for you. And who is this? Don't tell me…" She turned to Pansy, taking her by the arms and looking her straight on rather bluntly. "You must be a Selwyn. You have the eyes, and my, the hair of course. So are you Nevvie's Mistress?"

"AUNT ENID!" exclaimed Nev, turning bright red. "You can't just ask women if they are my... my…"

"Well, it isn't as if we expect you to remain celibate with that hussy running around Diagon Alley with that man she's been seeing."

"My mother was a Selwyn," Pansy interrupted.

"One of the Selwyn twins?" asked Enid for confirmation, stepping back and allowing Pansy to take a seat for tea.

"Violet," Pansy affirmed.

"Your aunt married the Nott boy and got herself killed if memory serves," nodded Enid, always a head for gossip. "Which makes you the Parkinson."

"Yes," answered Pansy again. "And of course you are a Fawley. You have the family looks as well."

"Well thank you," Aunt Enid simpered.

"This one appears to be both better looking and more clever than the last one," Nev's Uncle Algie announced, his mouth still full of tea cake.

"Algernon! Enid! We discussed this!" exclaimed Augusta returning to the room, a steaming pot of tea floating on a tray behind her. "We don't want to scare off Neville's new friend! And we aren't going to make any assumptions about their relationship." She settled down in a fluffy chair and waved her wand to pour herself a cup of tea. "Sugar darling?" she asked Pansy who nodded and took the cup that was levitated to her carefully.

"Fine. We won't make any assumptions," agreed a petulant Algie. "So, how long have you been my nephew's mistress?" he asked frankly, causing Nev to spurt his tea over his robes in shock.

" _Algie!_ "

"What? You said no assumptions, Auggie!"

"You've embarrassed Neville."

"Nonsense…" he protested. "So, Miss Parkinson? What exactly is your relationship with my nephew?"

"Well, we've known each other a very long time," answered Pansy diplomatically, astounding Neville with her ability to retain her composure under such blunt questioning. "I'd say we were friends if I though a war hero Gryffindor could be friends with a Slytherin like myself. We work together, although Neville has managed to avoid staying in the hospital wing this term."

"So if you're to be believed, it's all above board and in the open? No secret assignations in the astronomy tower?"

"I can assure you, as responsible Hogwarts Employees, Neville and I are hardly the type to be having secret assignations in the astronomy tower," laughed Pansy, smiling at Neville. "Wouldn't you agree Neville?"

"Absolutely," agreed Nev. "Honestly Uncle Algie, Aunt Enid, Gran, Pansy is a mother. I'm offended on her behalf that you would label her a scarlet woman!" Pansy felt it rather overplayed, but it seemed to convince his elderly relatives.

"Pay up then girls," demanded Algie, holding out his hand.

"Later Algie," sighed Augusta.

"You all were making wagers about me?!" exclaimed Nev, spraying tea cake crumbs over his robes.

"Well, Hannah has never been much of a wife," murmured his Gran loudly enough that everyone still heard.

"You should take it as a compliment, Neville dearie. Longbottom men are incredibly difficult to resist!" sighed Enid, giving an adoring look at the grey haired and liver spotted Algie.

"Don't I agree," came a voice as the fireplace roared to life and a white haired woman stepped through. Nev's face lit up, and he crossed the room in two long strides to meet her.

"Hi, mum," he said with a grin, kissing her cheek.

"Wotcher, Nev!" came a booming voice as a white haired man, looking very much like an older version of Neville stepped through right behind.

"Mum, dad, this is Pansy Parkinson, my coworker. Pansy, I'm pleased to introduce you to my parents Frank and Alice," the grin on his face brighter than lumos.

"Mr. and Mrs. Longbottom. I'm so happy to see you recovered and well. I followed the news of your recovery from France. I'm so happy for Nev," she said rising and offering a hand in greeting.

"Oh, do call us Alice, and Frank," said his mum, stepping forward and pulling Pansy into a rib crunching hug. "Goodness, you're gorgeous, aren't you?" She stepped back and held Pansy at arms length, her eyes looking suspiciously bright suddenly.

"Thank you," answered Pansy. "You look rather lovely today as well. We were just enjoying tea."

"Oh, don't mind if I do. Cream and sugar please, Augusta," said Alice, her face unnaturally smooth from so many years spent indoors contrasting with the pure silver of her prematurely grey hair. "Now, Nev dear, we want to hear about what you decided on for the fifth year herbology project. Your dad seems to think you would have picked the seedling project, while I'm hoping you've gone with the cross breeding project."

Pansy relaxed her shoulders, relieved to find the subject of her and Nev's dubious relationship finally dropped. And he thought they didn't suspect anything! And despite the exchanging of money, she wasn't sure that their suspicions had been completely put to rest. If only that gryffindork wasn't such a bad liar. While mistresses in pureblooded society were somewhat commonality when Nev's Gran and Great Uncle had been younger, she hardly thought it decent teatime conversation. Besides, they should know that a Parkinson daughter would never settle for being a mistress. She wondered why she was essentially doing exactly that.

* * *

"I'm worried about my parents. Gran can take care of herself, I know that. She's pure brilliance, but mum and dad are helpless in St. Mungo's."

"The healers there have sworn a sacred vow to protect those under their care. Dad assured me that St. Mungo's is safe. For purebloods, and well established half-bloods anyway."

"But what if they want to use them against me?"

"They don't think like that. If it was one of their relatives in that ward, most of them would burn them off the family tree and pretend they never existed. Many would consider it an embarrassment, a shame on the family name."

"I'm not ashamed of them. They were heroes!"

"I agree, but most death eaters aren't going to see it like that. Just don't let on to the Carrows, or anyone else that you're worried or they will know they can use them against you. For now, I'm certain they are safely forgotten in a hospital ward for people who can't remember anything."

"You're right… I know you're right. But I'm worried."

"What has you thinking about them anyways?"

"Valentine's day is their anniversary."

"You're sweet, you know that?"

* * *

"I'm going to head to the greenhouses for a few hours before dinner," announced Nev, draining the dregs of his tea. "I'm sure Gran has terrorized my plants enough in the past two months since I've been home."

"Well if you deigned to visit more often, maybe they wouldn't have to suffer my tender ministrations," huffed Augusta.

"Tender," laughed Nev sarcastically. "I'm sure. Thank you for tea."

"Yes, thank you for tea," agreed Pansy, getting to her feet. "I think I'll join you, Neville. I brought a few healing journals to read, catch up on some of the most current research. Is there a spot with decent light and a comfortable bench?"

"I'm sure I can find just the spot," said Nev, leading her out of the parlor.

"You owe me so much for that, Longbottom," she hissed as soon as they were out of earshot.

"I'll make it up to you tonight," he agreed, running a frustrated hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, they're just…"

"Blunt?" she suggested. He nodded. "And inappropriate, and rather insulting." He blushed.

"I supposed it was all rather hilarious… seeing you try and lie of course."

"Pans…"

"Your mistress will expect a rather expensive piece of jewelry for that," she suggested, her hand resting on the pansy necklace she always wore. "I might suggest earrings? And perhaps a rather romantic evening. Maybe you could make love to her on the roof of the astronomy tower."

"You're incorrigible."

After the initial third degree, Christmas with the Longbottoms was surprisingly relaxing, allowing Pansy to catch up on her reading. Sneaking into Nev's room in the evenings was laughably easy, and if she hadn't missed her mark, Nev's Gran was actively trying to push them together. Nev spent the first part of the week cleaning up his grandmother's greenhouse, which had fallen into a bit of a disarray while he was at Hogwarts. She wasn't upset as there was a reading nook under a rose arbor where she was able to catch up on all the latest healing and potions journals.

It wasn't until he started working with the rather smelly dragon fertilizer and the fire plants that she retreated to the library. That was where Alice found her.

"Merry Christmas Eve, Pansy," said Alice, drawing Pansy's attention from the rather complex potion designed for patients with allergies to Blue Fire Flower found in most Pepper-Up Potions.

"Merry Christmas Eve," she returned. "Where have you and Frank been all day?"

"We ran to do some last minute shopping in Diagon Alley. Frank never could finish this sort of thing on time. Always a bit of a last minute person when it comes to Christmas."

"Ahh… that must be where Nev gets it. He always ends up finding the majority of his gifts the day before, it seems." agreed Pansy with a nod, before realizing that might have given away a bit too much.

"You seem to know Nev so well. Only having known him truly the last 4 years, I find myself startled by how much I don't know about my son."

"Well… considering everything." Pansy felt that Alice's blue gaze seemed rather intense as she studied her.

"You know, as a healer, you might find it interesting to know that I remember everything from my time on the closed ward quite well. Especially the bits where I got to see Nev. Those were certainly the hi-lights. Being completely trapped in your own mind was rather dull most days. But when Nev and Augusta visited… now that was something to remember. Something to think about for days."

"How awful," whispered Pansy. "What a terrible curse."

"Yes, but all the more beautiful in the cure. Frank and I savor every moment now."

"Certainly."

"We're rather grateful for our son for never giving up on us, and of course his good friend Draco, who developed the potion that cured us."

"With Nev's herbology expertise and greenhouses," Pansy asserted.

"Well yes… and see… Draco used to come and talk to Frank and I about his research progress. He is a rather interesting gentleman you see. A great problem solver. But you know… after we were cured, we never heard about his friend Pans in France anymore. Not even a mention to the media as to their contribution, which if memory serves, was no small part. I seem to remember him pouring over dozens and dozens of collaboration documents."

"How… interesting," said Pansy, looking down at her book and clearing her throat. "Didn't Draco and Neville share a Flamel Prize for healing?"

"Rather hard to believe someone would pass something like that up," agreed Alice, looking intently at Pansy, causing her to fidget. "But… you know… It always made me think that Pans might have been a good friend of Neville's."

"Neville has always had a talent for friendship. Just look at the way he led the DA during the war."

"Well, you see I have this theory. My theory is that Pans, is none other than Neville's secret ex-girlfriend!" whispered Alice, conspiratorially.

"Oh…"

"Yes! You see, starting about his fifth year, he would come in, bursting with stories about the girl he had this crush on. You see, she was beautiful and clever, and in his opinion, completely out of his league, but they had this project together. He tried to ask Frank for advice on courage… he said he needed some to ask her out properly. And finally over Easter break, he told me they were together. He always had the biggest smile on his face when he talked about her."

"I see," said Pansy, somehow unable to stop Alice from going on. She had to hear.

"He would laugh as he recapped their sarcastic arguments, and blush when he admitted she was probably right about it being so reckless to ride thestrels from Hogwarts to London. He used to joke about her unwavering knack for self preservation- and then sixth year, and I had to hear all about snogging. He wasn't quite sure if he was doing it right, you know… but she seemed to like it well enough, and he was enjoying himself. I still want to laugh every time I remember him telling me with a red face that he'd nearly been caught in the dungeons by Professor Slughorn, but rather than receive a detention for being out of bounds, he convinced the professor that he'd already been assigned detention with Slughorn, and had simply had a hard time finding the professor. Slughorn made him make it up by waiting bar for a Slug Club Party. Such a Sluggy thing to do…" Alice shook her head with a tinkling laugh. "I remember my Nev being so happy that year. And then I saw him so briefly the next Christmas. He was scared, and scarred, and thin. But Junie was still snogging him in secret alcoves, and he said, rather worried about him, always looking out for him."

"I see," Pansy repeated, her stomach sickening at what was to come next.

"I didn't see my Nev for months, and the dark expressions on the faces of the healers, the missing faces of a few others… I knew it wasn't good. And then the war was over, and he came back. You know, I heard all about the battle that next day. I don't think he slept… just came right to the hospital to tell Frank and I. We were so proud, but he never mentioned Junie again. He was sad and angry for a long time, and then he got together with Hannah. I thought maybe it was a step in the right direction, but he was never that same happy boy I remembered from his sixth year. He never had that same light in his eyes when he talked about Hannah that he had had before. When we were cured, and we _really_ got to know Hannah, and of course Nev too, I worried. But ultimately, he thought he was in love, and who was I to stand in his way? Besides, your first love is always so special, and to have it torn away so unfairly by war. And then everything with the baby, and I barely recognized him sometimes by the time he quit the Aurors. My son was always so miserable! And then he comes back from Hogwarts with _you._ And it's like he's a sixth year, instead of a professor. And don't say anything, because I don't want you to feel any pressure, but I wanted you to know… that I know, and I couldn't be happier, regardless of anything else. No one deserves a second chance at love more than my son, although I might be biased. Nev looks happy, and I'm certain I have you to thank."

"I don't know what you're talking about," sniffed Pansy, looking away with glassy eyes.

"Mhmmm… I'm sure. I do wonder what happened to that girl though… you know… the one he loved back at Hogwarts…"

"Quite a few students died in the battle of Hogwarts…" Pansy trailed off meeting Alice's hard and shrewd look.

"You know… I've never asked Nev what he knows about Draco's mysterious collaborator… I wonder if he knows who it is?" pondered Alice.

"Oh don't!" gasped Pansy, taking hold of Alice's arm as she rose as if to head somewhere. "I… He can never know."

"I guess it will be our little secret then," smirked Alice.


	9. Changing the Ending

_"You can't go back_

_and change the beginning,_

_but you can start where you are_

_and change the ending."_

_~C.S. Lewis_

"I don't like staying here," complained Pansy looking into the bright green parlor. It was still decked out for Christmas even though the family had spent it at Long Heath Park rather than the townhouse. She had protested all morning while they packed their bags, and had nearly flooed to Parkview instead in a fit of petulance.

"Well it's walking distance to Harry's, and I would rather not have to apparate or floo halfway across the country after his New Year's Eve Party. One year the floo system went down after some idiot in Wingtown tried to send a firework through the system. I was too drunk to apparate and when I stumbled here, the house was closed up and cold. This way the house elves will expect us after the party. Plus, it's away from my parents and my Gran, we won't even have to be discrete," he wagged his eyebrows gesturing to the open dining room door as they passed it. "We can go at it on the dining room table if we want."

"I was thinking more along the lines of no silencing charm on the bedroom?" suggested Pansy with a roll of her eyes.

"Maybe we have different definitions of what's indiscrete," muttered Nev, causing her to hide her smirk.

"Don't you think people will find it suspicious that we're going to Potter's party together?"

"I thought you said you received an invitation of your own and you were going to get there thirty minutes after me?" he reminded her.

"Well… yes…"

"Good, you know I hate waiting around while you do the finishing touches on your makeup and hair. I will get a head start on the drinking."

She shot him a glare. "You know, it wouldn't always take me so long to get ready for things if you didn't keep trying to undress me…"

"You look better that way," he answered with a smug shrug.

"I'll have to ask Draco his opinion the next time I see him," she shot back.

"You bloody well won't!"

"What's the harm if he already has an opinion?" she opened her eyes wide with innocence.

"You can't convince me he has. We've been good friends for years, and I know he never really saw you that way."

"I guess that's what I get for allowing you two to become friends while I was away in France. He's such a bloody traitor."

"Maybe you should have thought of that before you left for France," snapped Nev, his eyes turning hard at her taunting.

"I swore to myself I would never darken this bloody doorway again," she huffed, dropping her bag on the marble floor of the two story entry.

"Too fucking bad, Parkinson," he snapped back abruptly crowding her backward until her back pressed into the hard carved banister of the grand staircase.

"This wasn't part of the deal!" she protested again. "The deal was I spend Christmas with your family as your mistress in exchange for your silence about the twins to your self-righteous reporter friend. You didn't say a word about staying at the bloody townhome!" She put her hands on her hips and stood a little taller.

"Let's get a few things straight here. I agreed not to give Luna the details on the story of a lifetime which would run you through the mud in exchange for you being my _sex slave_ for the duration of the holidays. I never even used the word mistress or specified Christmas with my family as a specific time period or condition. You came up with those on your own, luv. And… don't act like you aren't loving the excuse not to feel guilty for being complicit in this whole little affair." He pressed a searing kiss to her lips that she found herself responding to before she came to herself, her hands clutching the lapels of his leather jacket and pulling him into her.

"You're such a conceited arsehole, Longbottom," she screeched, pushing him out of her personal space and fleeing up the stairs. "And for the record, this whole blackmailing me into complacency _isn't_ a turn on and it _isn't_ working!" She stomped up the remaining stairs and stormed into the first open door she saw before slamming it.

"Remind me that tonight when you're screaming my name!" he called up the stairs and through the door in a voice full of male arrogance. She sagged against the door of the linen closet she had unwittingly stormed into, before viciously punching a stack of linens on the shelf in front of her.

Even she had a hard time pretending that Nev would start a custody battle with an article in the Quibbler, although that would be rather difficult to come back from. He wouldn't hurt the twins like that, and she was admittedly only going along with it to assuage her guilt at conceding her morals to be his mistress. Merlin, Hannah was sure to be there tonight.

* * *

It was a sign of their trust in Aceso, that they allowed her into the room of requirement where the DA was headquartered. She burst in on one of their little planning sessions. Even if they weren't blatantly defying the Carrows, someone had to take care of the younger years.

"Longbottom, send an OWL to your gran! They are going to take her tonight," she gasped out, having run all the way from the slytherin common room where she had overheard Crabbe bragging about his father's latest assignment to Draco. "They are going to hold her in order to force you into compliance."

"Bloody hell," he cursed, the cacti patronus he conjured startling everyone in the room. It was glittering and bright, the most beautiful thing Pansy had ever seen. With a woosh, it passed through her, causing her hair to wave out behind her.

"Where did you learn that, Nev?" asked Seamus, his jaw hanging open.

"Uncle Algie showed me over Christmas. Thought it might be useful."

"Is he a seer?" asked Parvati, causing most of the room to roll their eyes.

"Well if no one is injured, I'll be getting back to my studies," said Pansy, suddenly feeling as if they were waiting for her to join them.

"Oh do come join us Aceso," invited Ginny. "Do you like it? I thought we needed something to call you, you know. We snitched some champagne from Slughorn's private stores. We're going to play truth or dare."

"I think I need to brush up on my mind healing. You're all mad!" she huffed before exiting the room. The last thing she needed was the DA finding the truth about her and losing their trust. Who would keep them alive then?

* * *

A few hours later, after a relaxing soak in the large spa tub to soothe her temper, Pansy had watched Nev leave wearing crisp evening dress robes and a tailored shirt and trousers. The black tie had reminded her of her Hogwarts days, and a certain Slug Club party. She sat at the dainty vanity in the master suit and did her make up and curled her dark hair into fat curls before painting her lips a bright ruby red. Slipping a red jewled comb that Nev had gotten her for Christmas into her curls to keep them off her cheekbone, she zipped herself into the tiny black and gold dress she'd selected for the occasion, the beading and sequins shimmering with each movement. If he was going to treat her like a mistress, she was going to look like one. She pushed her breasts a little higher against the already low neckline of the dress and smirked at her reflection.

Looking down at the invitation in her hand, she sighed and wondered if this wasn't a horrible idea. I mean it _was_ Potter's idea, and he wasn't exactly known for his good ones. That was more Granger's forte to be honest. But if she was honest with herself, she wanted to go. She wanted to be accepted by Neville's friends. She wanted him to see she could make an effort.

She pulled on a black set of robes over her dress and her stilettos before heading out the front door. It was only two blocks to Grimmauld Place, just a few blocks over, as both houses were in the grander part of Mayfair that had once housed only Muggle Nobles and Purebloods, but now sported upperclass living for the nouveau rich as well. It was cold and foggy, two things to be expected for a London New Year's Eve, but the streets weren't terribly crowded, some revelers choosing to walk, but most in this area would choose to take their black town cars or a cabbie.

Arriving at No. 12 Grimmauld Place, she could see the entire front of the house lit up, and there was a line of mostly familiar witches and wizards lined up at the door waiting their turn to enter. She slipped in line discretely behind a pair of couples whose discussion led her to believe the husbands were both Aurors with Potter, while not a minute later, Gwenog Jones and her husband arrived to stand in line behind her. Pansy focused her eyes ahead and pretended not to notice that the former Minister of Magic himself appeared to be near the front of the line, his tall purple top hat hard to miss atop his bald head.

The line moved steadily, and she was inside within ten to fifteen minutes, an ugly if not proud looking house elf taking her outer robes for her. His face was hideous, but his eyes were kind, just the sort of elf Potter would have. By the time she made it to the front of the line, just outside the ballroom doors where Potter and Weaslette fronted the receiving line, she was thoroughly tired of the conversation between the aurors in front of her. Glancing past them, she winced seeing Weasel and Granger also greeting everyone.

She happily took two glasses of champagne from the house elf offering drinks right before the door. Downing the entirety of the first one she handed it back to the shocked elf with murmur of thanks before bracing herself and stepping up as the next person to be greeted.

"Pansy," said Potter, a look of surprise briefly crossing his face. "I'm so glad you came!"

"Well, I couldn't quite turn down the most coveted invitation in all of England," she replied somewhat sardonically. "You did mean to invite me, right?"

"Well.. of course!" coughed Potter. "There are appetizers and refreshments just off the ballroom in the dining room. We'll serve dinner at ten."

"Lovely, thank you," she said, noting that he didn't have much to say. "Hello, Ginevra," she said taking a sip of champagne and nodding at the tall redhead who had been enthusiastically talking to the wife of the auror in front of her.

Ginny Potter narrowed her eyes at her after a moment. "Pansy Parkinson?" she accused.

"Well yes… haven't gotten around to changing the Parkinson bit, although the alliteration is quite nice, don't you think?" she asked, pretending she believed Ginny wasn't quite sure if she had married. She held out her bare ring finger and contemplated it a moment. "Is it tiring with that heavy rock on your hand? I mean it's just so very large… I'm sure I would worry night and day about it falling off. Although, if _I_ had a husband that rich, to be sure I'd have the best and the biggest." Pansy looked over from Harry to Ginny and then winked at Ginny just to be outrageous. And then, out of a sense of self pride, she patted the comb in her hair with the giant red jewled dahlia on it before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Although I guess there is something to be said for sweet and thoughtful," she pondered, thinking of the look on Neville's face when he had given her the hair comb on Christmas morning, so tender and loving.

"I'm so glad you could make it," said Ginny, still looking shocked.

"Thank you for inviting me," agreed Pansy before stepping aside and waiting for Hermione to finish speaking to the Auror in front of her.

"Harry! What is Parkinson doing here!? You didn't mention inviting her!" she heard Ginny hiss to Harry.

"She's the new matron at Hogwarts and it seemed prudent to court her good graces considering how injury prone our children are," she heard him hiss back.

"Only because they take after you," huffed Ginny. "What idiot would put children under her care?"

Pansy stifled a laugh as a cough when she heard Potter mumble back, "McGonagall apparently."

"You!" was the less than friendly greeting from the usually diplomatic Hermione Granger.

"Granger… er… is it Weasley now? Or Granger-Weasley? That would make it less confusing, you know…" replied Pansy less than articulately at the hostility in Granger's eyes. They had never been on the best terms, but surely Potter would have warned his best friends even if his wife was left in the dark.

"Granger-Weasley… which you would know if you read the papers," sniffed Hermione. "You do _read?_ "

"Very well, you caught me… I don't even subscribe to the Prophet… or the Quibbler. But I do receive Curing Quarterly, and sometimes they have blurbs about the latest at the Ministry."

" _You_ went into _healing_?"

"I interned in the hospital wing for three years… surely you of all people wouldn't be surprised?"

"I just thought you were there for feminine problems?"

"I poured potions down your throat for days while you were unconscious sixth year?"

"Really? And I survived?"

"Oh grow up, Granger," snapped Pansy, shaking her head and bypassing Weasley altogether. After the welcome she had received from his wife and sister, she couldn't expect any better from him. She tossed back the second glass of champagne and made a bee line for a tray of fresh glasses. Snatching another, she scanned the room, finally making eye contact with Nev in the corner where he was talking to a very pregnant witch that had to be Lovegood from the hair, and her husband who kept rubbing her bum in a way that wasn't really appropriate for public. She felt flustered, and she needed him to center her, to remind her that she wasn't some dreadful person that Ginny Potter and Hermione Granger-Weasley had license to hate.

"Luna, you remember Pansy, don't you?" Neville, took a step toward her and she scurried to his side. In a room where she didn't have many friends, she might as well start here.

"Well of course," answered Lovegood. "I'm sure you remember her quite well too, considering."

"Er yes… well she's working at Hogwarts with me now, she's the matron."

"Ohh… that's quite a job. Madame Pomfrey was always there for me you know," said Luna turning to Pansy with those luminescent eyes of hers. "I remember you there too sometimes. You never said anything when I came to the hospital wing fourth year to be alone."

"I'm glad someone remembers my time there," sniffed Pansy.

"Gryffindors can be very self absorbed," commented Luna absently. "Oh look, food!"

"How did it go?" asked Nev as Luna and her unintroduced husband walked away. He gestured toward the receiving line.

"Ohh… as well as I suspected. I skipped Weasley…"

"Which one?" joked Nev, making her smile.

"I wish all of them… but just Ron."

"You're wearing the comb," he said, looking at her hair. She had... and she was sure he recognized it as the flag of surrender that it was. She was tired of fighting against what she really wanted. She was ready to cave and the light in his eyes proved he knew it.

"I couldn't resist… you see, I have this fantastic lover, and he gave it to me… maybe for sentimental reasons… maybe just so he could keep shagging me on the side. But it was sitting on my dressing table and looked so shiny and pretty, I just couldn't resist," she said with a shrug of her shoulders that she knew caused the neckline of her dress to gape. She watched Nev's eyes focus momentarily on the swells of her breasts before they went back to her face.

"You look lovely… that's one lucky lover you have."

"He's going to meet me in fifteen minutes upstairs so we can make this party tolerable," she said giving him a significant look.

"There's a hallway off the dining room, the house elves will be in the kitchen, but there's a back staircase there that leads to the upstairs. Potter's kids rooms are at the front of the house, but there are a few unused guest bedrooms on the right side of the hall. I've always stayed in the second one from the top of the stairs. There's a painting of the Scottish countryside that's quite lovely."

"Perfect," agreed Pansy looking up from her drink to see the auburn head of Seamus Finnegan arriving at the head of the receiving line. He was sure to scout out Nev immediately. "Oh look at that.. I'm famished. Are those shrimp?" She left Neville standing by the pillar and headed toward the dining room. First food, then sex, then maybe they could blow this joint.

She straightened her posture entering the dining room. She couldn't help but notice Cho Chang talking with Katie Wood and Leanne Simmons. Cho directed a glare at her and immediately turned to the side. The other two women looked over at her within the next breath, clearly they were talking about her. Which they were perfectly within rights to do. She took a small plate and walked down the buffet of appetizers, not even noticing that she had plopped a large glob of hummus on her plate. She detested hummus. She might like to talk to Wood… if the other two weren't there. Wood was primarily a labor and delivery and neonatal intensive care specialist, but she was a healer. They had that in common. Plus the paper she had written on potential complications in multiple births had really been a great read.

"Who invited you?" came a cold female voice from behind her. Turning she winced, seeing Abbot. Merlin, she knew… Neville swore he hadn't told her.

"Well… Harry I suppose," she finally said, Hannah's blue eyes were cold, but she was lovely in ways that Pansy knew she herself wasn't. A wholesome kind of way that women with ample breasts, wide eyes, pouty lips, and honey blonde hair always seemed to be.

"That's surprising. How much did you have to pay?"

"For this dress, or my lovely Dahlia hair comb?" asked Pansy naively. "The dress was on discount at Madame Malkins Hogsmeade, but the comb I got from my lover. I'm not sure it was terribly expensive, but you know it's the sentiment behind it that makes it all the better, am I right?"

Hannah's eyes widened and Pansy took another long drink to find her glass empty. She shoved a mini meat pie in her mouth. "Well I suppose… and it looks quite expensive to me."

"Who cares," Pansy muttered around the mouthful of pie before swallowing. "I mean as long as he's fantastic in bed, I mean. And he is _fantastic_. On a scale of one to Fantastic how would _you_ rate Longbottom?"

"Neville… Well…" Abbot was starting to look a little less pretty with the frown on her face. Pansy smiled.

"Oh… that's right. You're with Ernie now. I'm sure he's _fantastic_ too. It's always the quiet ones, right?"

"Are you okay? I mean… you seem a little… drunk."

"Merlin, Abbot. I practically have to be to be here," snapped Pansy. "And don't pretend you came over here all Hufflepuffley to be nice. We both know you weren't."

"I'm sorry…"

"Me too," said Pansy, although she was sure Hannah didn't know the real reason why. "Now… I think I need to try one of those pink drinks. They look delicious. Do you think they taste like bubble gum?"

"I really wouldn't know…" Pansy ignored her and headed for the house elf with the pink drinks.

"I'll take two of those…"

She had finished both and most of the food plate by the time Neville arrived in the bedroom. She was contemplating the landscape painting when he slipped in the door.

"Merlin, you look sexy," he said taking her in.

"You should see what I'm wearing underneath," she teased, taking a step toward him.

"Please tell me it's red," he sighed as she wound his tie around her hand pulled him to her level. He was so tall, that she was still far shorter even with her stilettos.

"I forgot…" she whispered in his ear before licking it. "I'm not wearing anything underneath."

He had her pushed against the door with her skirt around her waist within seconds.

"Fuck, Junie," he laughed. "You will be the death of me."

"Yes please," she laughed back before kissing him hard on the mouth and wrapping her legs tightly around his waist.

Not even ten minutes later, Nev was straightening his robes, looking just as neat and tidy as ever.

"It's not fair. You don't even look mussed," she complained.

"Honest opinion, your hair looks even better this way," he consoled her, tweaking a curl.

"I look like Granger."

"It's Granger-Weasley now."

"I know… she told me."

"You're pretty drunk."

"That's what Hannah said."

"Merlin…"

"Yeah…"

"Think you can make it to midnight?"

"Not really… but maybe if we dance a lot?"

"One or two, then I'll maybe see you home. You know… as a concerned coworker."

"Great… we can bang on the dining room table at your townhouse when we get back."

"We are soo not making it to midnight."

"Dinner is at ten, and I have it on good authority, I make for excellent dessert," she winked at him and sauntered out of the bedroom. He collapsed against the wall clutching his chest.

"That witch is going to kill me," he muttered.

Pansy smiled like the cat that ate the canary when she made her way back into the ballroom. She was going to enjoy the rest of this party if it killed her. She spotted Dean Thomas across the room, on his own without that irritating Finnegan for once. Good, she sort of knew him.

"Thomas," she said arriving at his side. "How are you… where are they keeping those pink drinks? They are pretty good you know…"

"Umm… Parkinson…"

"You know… I almost spent the holiday with Blaise. He's at the house in Spain for Christmas and he did invite me to come... but I wasn't exactly going to pass up fantastic sex all break to hang out with your brother and his wife."

"My brother?"

"Half brother… semantics…" Pansy waved her hand. "I mean… if you ask me… you got the better half. His mum's a total basketcase. Wait… is _your_ mum a basketcase too?"

"My mum?"

"Well… I mean… maybe your dad was into crazy. That's a thing you know… I'm fairly certain Theo is like that."

"What brother are we talking about again?"

"Zambini! Merlin… don't you pay attention to anything? Blaise and Charlotte invited me to Spain for Christmas…"

"Yes… and you passed it up for fantastic sex with Theo," agreed a frustrated Thomas.

"EWW! No…. he's my cousin!"

"Aren't all you purebloods cousins and marry anyways?"

"He's my first cousin! We aren't Blacks you know!" Pansy turned and stormed away. So much for Thomas being a friendly face, even if he did look like his brother.

"Racist bitch," muttered Dean wondering if he really was related to Zambini. He didn't exactly know who his dad was. Wouldn't that be something?

She managed to convince one of Oliver Wood's teammates from Puddlemere to dance with her before she moved on to dance with Zacharias Smith and finally Nev, who after two dances, decided she was much too drunk, and he must escort her home.

As the clock struck midnight, Nev looked up from his book on Magical Plants of the Far East to see Pansy, her mouth open, her hair a tangle of curls, her arm splayed across his stomach, keeping him close. "Happy New Year, Love," he murmured, bending to kiss her forehead.

"Sorry your friends hate me," she murmured in her sleep. He shook his head. They didn't hate her… she was just wildly misunderstood. And also… a pretty amusing drunk dancer. She'd fit right in once they got used to her.

* * *

Easter Holidays that year meant one thing. A means of escape. No one came out and said it, but if you put a more in your trunk for Easter Holidays than you normally would, it might mean you weren't planning to come back. Nev had stayed at school, his gran being on the run meant he had no home to return to. Pansy had decided to stay as well, and spend some time with Nev. Her parents were under a lot of pressure to choose a side, and she didn't want to end up like Lovegood at Christmas. Her father wrote her to stay where she was for now. She also had the ulterior motive to discuss the future with Nev. They needed to figure out what their plan was for graduation. Sticking around waiting for the Dark Lord to murder them wasn't really high on her list of preferred options.

Even though springtime was beginning to blossom outside, the weather was still too cold for true spring. Instead, she and Nev headed to the greenhouses, their favorite meeting spot.

"Two entire weeks with you to myself," she giggled, wrapping her arms around his middle. "I'm one lucky witch."

"Mmm," he hummed into her hair holding her close. "I'm just glad the Carrows are off doing who knows what and the only teachers left are the head of houses."

"There aren't very many students left at all. I'm not surprised. I wonder who won't be back."

"A good number if they know what's good for them," Nev muttered darkly.

"What are we going to do after graduation?" she whispered.

"I've been corresponding with an American wizard who wants to do an herbological expedition in South America. I think I could probably get out of the country legitimately that way. Once I'm in the States, I'll be able to help the war effort from there."

"I… I could go with you. There's a healing school in Boston."

"It's a plan, then." Nev punctuated his statement with a kiss. Conjuring a soft blanket, they settled together on the grassy floor of the greenhouse. "We'll write Gran, she can meet us there."

"I'll finally get to meet the terrifying Augusta Longbottom!" teased Pansy.

"She's an intense woman. I think she'll like you."

"Of course she will," laughed Pansy. "I'm going to make sure of it!"

"The important thing is we'll be together," Nev whispered, cradling her face in his big hand before pressing his mouth to hers.

"I love you, Neville Longbottom," she gasped looking up into his confident face, she felt like there was nothing to be afraid of. There was nothing outside the glass walls of this greenhouse that could hurt them, no imminent threat of death around every corner. She reveled in the fact that his strong arms could shield her from the fears that surrounded her daily. His smile warmed the chill that permeated her entire being. Loosening the buttons on his shirt, she used the fabric to pull him closer to her, kissing him desperately. Because who knew if this could be the last time.

Two weeks later, they had barely spent ten minutes apart the entire holiday. They may or may not have abused her prefect privileges, and they most certainly abused the fact that his dorm was completely empty. She had jumped on Harry Potter and Ron Weasley's old beds, just because she could, and then lured Nev into them. Because someone should get some action there at least once in seven years. They avoided the great hall, and dined in the kitchens with the house elves. She dragged him to the Slytherin common room, and showed him the plants that grew in lake. The spent a romantic evening in Greenhouse one where they slept under the stars like it was midsummer.

When the two weeks ended, reality crashed around them, collapsing their little bubble away from the war. Several students hadn't come back from holidays. Ginny Weasley and her entire family had disappeared completely. It was obvious a fidelius charm. It was the most self preservation and common sense she had seen from Gryffindors in a while. Nev was back to his old antics in class, and she worried they both wouldn't survive to see the end of the school year.


	10. Crossing Lines

_"At some point, you have to make a decision-_

_Boundaries don't keep other people out- they fence you in._

_Life is messy. That's how we're made._

_So you can waste your lives drawing lines._

_Or you can live your life crossing them."_

_~Meredith Grey._

The best thing about being matron was the fact that she didn't have to teach and make lesson plans or grade papers. While she might be needed at any time for an injury or an illness, she didn't have to worry about grading papers or preparing tests. Unfortunately, Nev was teaching 7 years of classes for the first time and he had to spend a lot more time working on lesson plans and developing his curriculums.

Pansy tried to keep herself occupied the first few days of the year, brewing up some ointments and potions she needed to restock. By the third day, she was bored out of her mind, and Nev couldn't afford to be distracted with students coming back in a matter of days.

"I'm going to go visit Draco," she announced, gliding into the greenhouse with a cup of tea to find him pouring over Sprout's old lesson plans for the seventh years and making notes. "I haven't seen him in an age, and you forced me to spend the holiday with your friends. I didn't see Charlotte and Blaise, or Draco and Astoria. I could have gone to France to see Daphne or Hyperion you know. Hell, I could have spent the break with my idiot cousin."

"Mhmm…" he said as she set down a cup for him and some eggs and toast she had made for him. She cleared her throat loudly. He looked up at her after a few moments, surprised to still find her there.

"Did you hear a word I said?" she demanded. He blushed and shook his head before using the fork to push the eggs onto the toast and make a sandwich for himself. "UGGH! I am going to go visit Draco, at least he appreciates me!"

"I hope you put some decent clothes on before you go," commented Nev with his mouth half full as she stalked out of the greenhouse, her flimsy silk dressing gown flapping behind her.

"Well at least if I went like this, he might look twice!" she complained, pausing in the doorway to his residence. She could tell he was deliberately ignoring her in favor of plants. She had always found his ability to do that _most_ irritating.

"I've seen it already," he called over his shoulder.

"And maybe for the last time, Longbottom!"

"Dream big, Parkinson!"

"I will!" she snapped back, slamming the door.

An hour later, she was wearing plum short robes, her hair curled and pinned back. She had clipped a string of pearls around her neck and she'd dragged out the matching earrings her father had given her for her seventeenth birthday. Adjusting the red pillbox hat on top of her curls, she picked up her red handbag and pursed her red lips.

She breezed back into the greenhouse, her loud heels clicking on the stone path. "You finish your breakfast?" she asked.

"Yes," muttered Nev flipping through some papers without looking up.

"Are you going to even look at me?!" she demanded, putting her hands on her hips. He'd gotten up before her the last three mornings and refused to even take breaks for lunch with her.

"If I look at you, I'll lose my train of thought, and before I know it, your clothes will be on the floor along with half of these papers," protested Nev. "I know you're bored and trying to seduce me, so go pester someone else."

"You know me too well," she sighed. "Fine… I'm going to Malfoy's."

"Say hi to Drake and Tori for me."

"You are invisible to me. I reject your presence," she snapped.

"I thought that was what I was doing?"

Twenty minutes later she had flooed into the manor, dusted herself off, greeted Narcissa with air kisses and a curtsy, and was draped across the chair in Draco's study.

"Your mother would die if she saw you like that," chuckled Draco as he poured them a pair of drinks.

"She's in Argentina with my children, so I don't see what the problem is."

"What have you been doing all Holiday? How have you not been bored out of your mind?" demanded Draco handing her a glass of gillywater with two olives. "Why is this the first time I'm seeing you?"

"I've been busy," she evaded, taking the martini glass and taking a sip. She tossed her hat onto her handbag in the chair next to her and watched Draco settle himself on the edge of his desk, crossing his arms.

" _Really_ ," sneered Draco raising an eyebrow. "By _busy_ do you mean screwing the brains out of your ex?"

"WHAT!?" demanded Pansy, her drink nearly sloshing onto her robes as she spun to sit properly in the chair. "How did you find out about that?"

"Nev tipped me off when he owled me last night telling me you were bored with him and to expect you this morning."

"That traitor!" she exclaimed. "How long have the two of you been plotting behind my back!"

"Since you moved to France without me," shot back Draco with an eyeroll.

" _I_ couldn't help it if you were under house arrest for two years and not allowed to leave the country!"

"Well at least you sent me pictures of your lovechildren."

" _Stop calling them that!"_

"You ready to confess to me that they are officially Longbottom's?" Draco smirked at her.

"As if you need official confirmation. You've been calling Nico, Neville Junior since he learned to walk."

"But you've been refusing me the satisfaction for _years_."

"Fine! Nev is the twin's father."

"Blaise owes me five hundred galleons," gloated Draco pulling out a piece of parchment and starting a letter to announce his victory.

"You bet about this?" shrieked Pansy. "Wait, there was doubt?"

"He bet you'd deny it stubbornly until the twins started Hogwarts, but I was convinced it would come out before that. Seriously, Pans? There was never any doubt that the twins were Longbottom's. The one looks and acts just like him."

"Just you wait until Scorpius gets a little older. He looks just like you and has your shitty attitude as well."

"I mean, you're lucky your mum doesn't know Longbottom, that kid is _just_ like him. How did Nev react when he found out? I mean, he freaked out to me, but… I still haven't heard the details as to what happened between the two of you."

"He was pissed, we fought, it was ugly, and then before we knew it we were practically fucking."

"Uggh, did _not_ need to hear that. I thought we agreed fourth year after I made out with Leanne Simmons that we weren't going to discuss details of our sexcapades with each other."

"Yeah, yeah… you're the one who asked. But it was just like it always was, us arguing one second and then making out the next."

"Is that how your relationship with Longbottom worked? I've always sort of wondered… in the way you want to know how someone died, but it's too rude to ask."

"If you must know…"

"I must… how _did_ you two get together. I mean, he and I have been friends for years, and he's a great guy. He's funny, he's one of the few gryffindors I've ever met who understands sarcasm, he's actually pretty bright, and he's nice. The only thing that doesn't make sense is why a nice guy would go after you?"

"Oh shut up Draco… what makes no sense is why Astoria would end up with you!"

"I am an incredibly lucky man," he smirked lofting his tumbler in a mock toast. "But so in all seriousness. I've been wondering for years…"

Several hours later, Pansy was tucked up on the sofa, the remnants of tea spread out in front of them while Draco was lounging in the chair, his socked feet propped on the tea table. "And that was it… so I took my NEWTs and left for France two weeks later. You know the rest."

"I still can't believe you got together fifth year. I mean… I always figured it was sixth or seventh year when I was so distracted being a slave to the Dark Lord."

"Yeah, that made things that much easier. Otherwise, I'm not sure I would have been able to keep everything from you."

"You were off having this giant romance, and I was plotting the death of the headmaster."

"And making fun of Pothead and Weasel. Don't forget that part."

"You were there for most of that… I only ever started that shit up when I knew you were around to help."

"Because I'm so much better at being a snarky bitch than you."

"Basically… Don't let it go to your head. I guess this explains why you're so much better at trauma than me."

"Other than the fact you faint at the sight of blood?"

"Oookay… and that. But we always knew I wanted to specialize in Potions Healing."

"Valid… and pediatric surgery and trauma was where I was destined to be."

"Especially if you're the one who kept the D.A. alive seventh year. Fuck… you're practically a hero. Where's your golden halo? I'll polish it for you."

"I keep it on my shelf, right next to my Order of Merlin, third class."

"But honestly… they'd probably give you one."

"Right… to the girl that tried to kill the boy who refused to die."

"Hey… if it had worked, _I_ would give you an Order of Merlin _First_ Class."

"Harry's not that bad anymore," sighed Pansy. "And we can't very well pretend we aren't grateful."

"Valid. Cheer's to Harry James Potter, savior of the world." Draco raised his glass with false reverence.

"I'll drink to that."

"So… when did you get chummy with Potter?" asked Draco.

"I might have shagged Nev in his spare bedroom on New Years."

"LALALA! I can't hear you!" exclaimed Draco covering his ears like a child.

"You're pathetic."

"You're pathetic… shagging Longbottom. Uggh… Also, did I mention his mother's probably onto you?"

"No… but that would have been a nice warning."

"What do you mean?"

"She cornered me at New Years."

"Wait… don't tell me you spent New Years with Longbottom's family!?"

"Fine… I won't tell you."

"Did you have fun with Draco?" asked Nev, looking up from his papers as she slipped through the floo, her red stilettos in hand, her hat tucked under her arm with her pocketbook.

"You warned him I was coming," she pouted.

"I had to get rid of you somehow," laughed Nev as she slipped off her outer robe, revealing the dress underneath.

"Still want to get rid of me?" she asked, leaning over him, taking the papers out of his hand and setting them on the coffee table.

"I finished my lesson plans today."

"Someone was industrious!" she murmured into his neck as he pulled her into his lap.

"Well, I have a hot anniversary date tomorrow."

" _What?_ "

"It's going to be January 5th, the day we got together on the train back from Holidays in fifth year."

"Oh my Merlin! You're the sweetest boyfriend ever!"

"I am aren't I?" He gave her that self satisified gryffindork smirk.

"I take back everything bad I've ever said about you! Except the things that were true… which was most of it."

The twins were absolutely bursting about their trip when they stumbled out of the international floo at the Ministry. Pansy overlooked the curious looks and pulled them into her, sniffing their hair somewhat indiscreetly, taking in their scents and kissing them each in turn. _Her babies_.

"Pansy," her mother said in greeting, causing her to break her stranglehold on the twins and greet her mother with a kiss on cheek.

"Mother, good to see you," she said. "I trust you three had a wonderful trip?"

"IT WAS AMAZING!" exclaimed Nico. "WE EXPLORED RUINS AND A RAINFOREST AND THERE WERE TONS OF COOL PLANTS!"

"I see, that does sound fun. And you were well behaved?"

"Define well behaved," her daughter said with a sly look.

"They were very good," put in Violet Parkinson. "As well behaved as two nine year olds could be. Although, I do think Nico showed a rather lack of self preservation a time or two. You really must explain that we do not touch things we do not know are safe."

"He takes after his father," sighed Pansy as she watched the twins dash ahead toward the atrium. "Every day he seems to confirm he's destined to be an impetuous Gryffindor."

"Hm… that's the most I've gotten from you in years on that front. So a Gryffindor… why is that not surprising. Well at least that rules out you having been raped by Carrow."

"MOTHER!" exclaimed Pansy. "Surely… you didn't think?"

"It crossed my mind a time or two."

"I… I loved the twins father…" Pansy volunteered. "I still love him actually."

"Maybe being in England is finally helping you heal, helping you move on. It's not as if you ever did all those years in France. Maybe it's time to find someone? You can't keep living in the past. Dead men can't give me more grandchildren."

"About that... he's very much alive," murmured Pansy. Violet's eyebrows shot up in a look of questioning and surprise. "And he wants to step in as their father."

"A little late for that!"

"I know… but he may have just found out."

"Pansy, you didn't?"

"And I'm not exactly sure how we go from here without anyone getting hurt."

"Slowly… very slowly," suggested Violet. "Perhaps he could simply befriend them first?"

"Thanks mum," said Pansy as they reached the atrium where her children were currently standing near the fountain. "I'll let you know what I end up doing. It's a lot to decide."

* * *

Neville was forced to retreat to the Room of Requirement two weeks later when he refused to torture a fourth year slytherin during Dark Arts class. He stunned Carrow instead. Pansy had been too busy shuffling the fourth year out the side door and toward the dungeons to see the battle between Neville and the She-Carrow that occurred in the corridor and ended up with him blasting her backwards and stunning her into the following week despite all the *best* efforts of Madame Pomfrey to revive her more quickly.

Pansy went to him during dinner to find the room now sporting a hammock next to Neville's trunk with a lamp on it. He was laying in the hammock, looking quite glum when she slipped into the room from the most recent entry point that had appeared behind a painting of Phyllida Spore.

"Well at least you won't have to sit through muggle studies any longer," she said, drawing his attention.

"It's just going to make everything worse for the others without me to focus their ire."

"Maybe it's time someone else took a turn," she said reaching for his scarred cheek. She'd tried dittany on it, but the dark curse was forcing it to heal naturally. It was sure to leave a wicked scar.

"Did the fourth year make it back to the dorms alright?"

"Yes," she said slipping into the hammock beside him. "So are you just moving in here until the end of the war then?" she looked around the large room, the study area where most the DA meetings across the way.

"Maybe. How would you feel about moving in with me?" he asked with a rakish grin. "I bet the room could conjure up a right comfortable bed for you."

"Someone has to be the eyes on the outside," she said with a shake of her head. "Besides, I have my parents to worry about. Mum and dad are doing their best to keep their heads down. Mother wouldn't survive a day in hiding without the conveniences of the manor."

"I wonder what Gran's up to."

"Probably hiding out at Muriel Weasley's. The Weasleys have been in hiding since Potter was spotted at Malfoy Manor with Weasley and Granger in tow."

"You said Draco said Luna got away?" Nev asked for about the 100th time.

"Yes, and just last night he mentioned something new. He said they had the sword of Gryffindor with them, and that his Aunt near lost her mind."

"It's terrifying to think of her as someone's Aunt."

"I'd like to see the sword of Gryffindor," she said aloud.

"I'll show you my sword of Gryffindor, if you show me your tits," he whispered lecherously in her ear, causing her to throw back her head in laughter.

"Merlin, is that all you think about?"

"No, sometimes I think about killing You-Know-Who," he replied with fake seriousness. "But mostly just your tits." Pansy turned red but flicked her wand and purple curtains drew around the hammock.

"I knew you weren't paying attention in charms yesterday," she licked his ear.

"Well last time we did make excellent use of the charms classroom…" he sighed with a faraway look in his eyes. "I'll never be able to sit at the desk in the back again."

"You'll have to remind me," she replied suggestively.

* * *

Pansy sighed in contentment and glanced at Nev's pocketwatch, propped on the bedside table in his typical way. Half two. She would need to floo back to her quarters soon so she could rest up. She'd snuck out after the twins were asleep since she had an empty hospital wing for the night. They had been back at Hogwarts for a few weeks, and their time together seemed like sixth and seventh year all over again. It seemed strange to have a bed to relax in afterwards. She'd savor it for at least a few more minutes. It was the anniversary of their first date, after they had become a couple fifth year. Besides, the way Nev was trailing his fingers down her bare back felt glorious. She pressed a kiss to his chest, inhaling his scent before resting her head back down, listening to his steady heartbeat.

"I asked Hannah for a divorce," he finally said, breaking the quiet. She felt his words rumbling his chest, and she heard them, but it took long moments to process. She lifted her head, peering at him in the moonlight.

"What did she say?" she finally asked.

"That she'd always known there was someone before her. Of course she wanted to know if the rumors were true," he answered.

"What rumors? What did you tell her?" Pansy felt her heart rate kick up a notch. How was he so calm? "What did she say?" He hadn't answered the question.

"Well… Michael's spread it about that he ran into Aceso… and she was practically half naked in my bed…"

"I wasn't half naked _or_ in your bed!" protested Pansy.

"Blame it on the Gryffindor flare for the dramatic," conceded Nev, running a hand over his face. "Anyways, everyone's been after me for the truth, and Hannah was like a dog with a bone when I asked for the divorce."

"Did you tell her!?"

"I would never betray you, love," promised Nev, his words echoing those from years ago. "She was disappointed, but she understood that we wanted some privacy. Although she did point out that if we decide to make our relationship public, everyone is going to figure it out anyways, so I should just tell her."

"But you didn't."

"No, and she already signed the divorce papers," answered Nev.

"WHAT!?" exclaimed Pansy, her shrill voice piercing the quiet of the night. "You've been a free man all night and you didn't say a word?!"

"What do you think I just said?" he complained as she smacked his bare chest.

"I mean before!? You let me think I was still the other woman all night!"

"You know it's not like that or you wouldn't be here," protested Nev. "Besides, it isn't official with the ministry yet. The paperwork still has to process."

"But you and Abbott are square?"

"Well… technically she's been Longbottom for a while now, but I think she and MacMillan are planning on changing that soon anyways."

"I can't think of her that way. She'll always be Abbott to me."

"Jealous much?" he sniggered at her frown.

"Oh shut up Longbottom. What a ridiculous name, no wonder she wants to change it."

"Give it a rest Pansy," he said pulling her back down.

"Fine… but I need to go back before three," she pouted.

"Sure," he said, waving his wand and setting an alarm for five. She'd yell at him and they could make love before she headed back to the Hospital Wing.

* * *

She was fast asleep on Neville's chest when the door had slammed open, waking both of them. Scrambling off of him, she fumbled for her wand and cast a disillusionment spell. Glancing at his pocketwatch propped on the bedside table, she noticed it was half two.

"Neville!" came Seamus's voice from across the room. Nev scrambled into some clothes just in time for the curtain to be pulled back and a lit wand thrust in his face. "We need Aceso! Padma got into it with the Carrows when they went after Parvati. Parvati managed to stun them, but not before Padma got the worst of it."

"I'll tell her to meet us! Where is she?"

"Transfiguration corridor! And hurry! I'll go get some dittany and blood replenishing potion from the hospital wing. I know she'll ask for it first!"

Pansy had been scrambling into her clothes and had already transfigured her face into a bland identity before charming her hair the curly blond that marked her Aceso to the DA.

"I've been worried about something like this," she whispered, panicked. "I won't be upset about some extra potions, but I've been brewing some of my own stores for weeks. Stay here, we can't risk Draco using this as a way to get into the Room." She grabbed her bag and left a sleepy Neville behind.

"Be careful!" He called after her as she waved him off.

"Always!"

"Love you!"

"Love you too!"

* * *

Valentine's day could sometimes be a bit trying in the hospital wing. As usual, she had brewed love potion antidote for the occasion, something she didn't usually keep on hand. For some reason, people seemed to think the holiday was the perfect opportunity to brew some and use it on their unsuspecting classmates either as pranks or desperate attempts to gain the attention of their crush.

She shook her head. That sort of thing never went well for anyone.

This year she also had to deal with a fight between two sixth years. A ravenclaw and a Gryffindor both wanted to take the same Hufflepuff girl to Hogsmeade this weekend, and it had ended as a duel in the third floor corridor. By the end of it, the Gryffindor had a transfigured cat face and a tail, and the Ravenclaw was covered in boils that sang the Tutshill Tornado's fight song.

She'd managed to make the boils less painful, but they were now singing in French. She had a feeling they wouldn't stop until they went down, and the boil remover solution still had to finish brewing. With a silencing charm on the poor boys bed, she moved onto the Gryffindor.

Luckily she was fairly ace at human transfiguration, and Poppy had let her read up on it fifth year as a case study on when Granger turned herself into a cat second year. It didn't take long to restore the freckled Gryffindor to his usual self.

"So, did we learn anything from all this?" she asked, writing up the hospital wing excuse for his missed class.

"That Mariah Hornsby has a thing for sneaky slytherins," pouted the boy.

"Huh?" asked Pansy, looking at the cross student.

"While Crosby and I were fighting, McNair marched up and asked her to Hogsmeade, and she said yes."

"Smart girl," Pansy said with a nod. "Sounds like he's the mature one of the three of you. Why wouldn't she pick him?"

"I suppose. Now I'll have to go to Hogsmeade alone. All the girls in my year have dates now."

"What about Cordelia Niccum?"

"The slytherin?!"

"Well wasn't she seeing McNair last I heard? Surely she'd like to get back at him, and she's a pretty girl. She's very good at transfiguration too. I bet she could have fixed your face just now."

"Well, I guess she is really pretty, and she's top of our year, so she is clever."

"And she shares your love for the Tutshill Tornado's. Her uncle was on the team."

"Really! You seem to know everything Madame P. Were you a Ravenclaw?"

"No," she said with a laugh, handing him the excuse. "Now off to class with you. You should ask Miss Niccum first chance you get."

"All this plotting, you must have been a Slytherin," guessed the Gryffindor with a grin.

"You may never know," she answered with a devious smile.

"Wait till the guys hear this one!" she heard him mumble.

It was nearly dinner time when the boil solution was ready, but it did the job, and Crosby was soon on his way to the Valentine Feast. Thinking of the Feast made Pansy realize that she hadn't seen the twins since before noon. They were sure to want to sneak down to the kitchens for leftovers from the Feast, and she had planned to let them.

"Winky?" she called. The elf popped in next to her. "Have you seen the twins?"

"The twins was in greenhouse seven today," replied Winky.

"Was professor Longbottom with them," asked a panicking Pansy. The seventh years had been working with particularly dangerous cross breed of Devil's Snare and Venomous Tentacula. Nev wasn't too sure about it and had been keeping the greenhouse locked around the clock, even having her floo in and out of his apartments rather than walk through the darkened greenhouse.

"Winky thinks he had classes all day," said the elf thoughtfully.

"Merlin's Balls!" cursed Pansy, grabbing her wand and sprinting out the hospital wing. Her heels clacked on the stairs as she hurried past a surprised looking group of forth years on her way out the doors. She was nearly out of breath by the time she reached the greenhouses.

The sun had set and the greenhouses were all dark as she passed them, including the one closest to the lake that she knew had a light blocking charm on it due to the nocturnal plants that the seventh years were studying. Lofting her wand, she pushed open the door, hoping that Winky was wrong and the twins weren't in here.

"Mum!" exclaimed Dahlia's cheerful voice, greeting her.

Pansy deflated, taking in the scene in front of her.

There were grafted flower trees everywhere, flowers of every kind from tulips to roses grew on standard size seven to eight foot trees, the natural foliage mingling with that of the flowers. Each tree rose from a large red or purple pot, and fairy lights dangled among the branches, making the entire room glow in soft yellow light. The area was clear of the usual desks, and there was a small free area in the middle of the flower tree glen with a candle lit table for two. Nico and Dahlia were hanging glowing pink lanterns from the lower branches of the trees near the table and Nev appeared to be hanging the last of the white fairy lights.

"Surprise!" exclaimed Nico.

"You're early," accused Nev.

"I was worried… about the twins…" she panted, catching her breath as she took in the paper hearts hanging from the trees and the poison heart pansies overflowing the vase on the table.

"I suppose I might have told you they were with me this afternoon," Nev said scratching the back of his neck in the way he did when he knew he'd probably messed up.

"We wanted to help Uncle Nev surprise you!" Dahlia cut in. "Happy Valentine's day!"

"It's… beautiful," she finally said, stepping into the greenhouse. "I… wow… I can't believe you did all this."

"The seventh years helped. They've been working on these grafting projects for weeks."

"It's gorgeous," Pansy said spinning and looking up at the trees. There was a red Dahlia tree that looked particularly healthy, and Pansy wondered which student had managed that one. She wondered if Nev would keep it for her rather than sell it off like many of the more artistic projects the students grew.

"Enjoy your dinner, mum!" called Nico, slipping out the door with Dahlia. "Happy Valentine's!"

"Sneaky of you to let them in on the project," she said turning to find Nev had stepped off the ladder and charmed the dirt off his hands.

"A certain slytherin must be rubbing off on me," he smirked.

"I knew you were spending too much time with Draco," she shot back with a grin, stepping up to him. He waved his wand, and soft music wafted from a wireless nearby.

"I thought we might enjoy the Valentine's feast just us," he said, pulling her into his arms, seamlessly leading her into a slow dance under the trees.

"Who would have thought you were so suave?" laughed Pansy before resting her cheek against the soft material of his white oxford.

"I can be romantic when the situation calls for it," he bragged.

"This is nice," she agreed, smiling up at him, and pressing a kiss to his lips.

"Well, I was hoping for a little better than nice," he grumbled.

"Fine. I love it," she sighed, pressing herself against him as the song continued, soft and slow.

"I love you, Junie," he said pressing a kiss to her hair.

"I love you too, Nev," Pansy whispered back, her cheeks flushing as he lifted her chin to kiss her deeply.

A few songs later, he pulled her to the table, protesting that if they continued dancing, the food would grow cold. The house elves in the kitchens had provided food from the feast under covered trays, and Pansy was delighted to find all her favorites.

"It's like you know my soul," she laughed taking a bite of mashed sweet potato covered in pecans and brown sugar.

"Mmm… or I watched you eat for three years and know all your favorites."

"Point Neville Longbottom."

"I feel like tonight deserves like five or six points at least," he protested.

"How about ten?" she said taking a bite of chocolate cake and moaning. "A perfect ten out of ten points."

"I'm glad you like it. I figured I had to compete when I saw all those Valentine's you got at breakfast. Especially that huge assortment of Honeyduke's truffles."

"You know those were from students," she laughed.

"Even the one that sang about your eyes and your breasts?" Nev asked, hiding his snort as a poorly disguised cough.

Pansy shot him a glare and huffed. "Unfortunately yes. I don't know what it is about gryffindors that makes them go gaga for me, but I can only assume it's a virus to hit the tower every 10 years or so. This one isn't even a good speller, he addressed the card to MILF Parkinson, rather than Madame."

"Ahhh, a not so secret admirer," chuckled Nev. "I have overheard some interesting speculation about your age the last few weeks.

"Hormonal teenagers," she shook her head. "Don't think I didn't notice all the seventh year girls giggling about the Valentine's they sent you."

"Who sent the Honeyduke's?" he changed the subject, his cheeks a little red.

"Oh, that was Draco. He's obligated to give me chocolates for life, you know." She held out a raspberry tart drizzled in chocolate for Nev, knowing it was one of his favorites. He ate it out of her hand with a grin, licking her fingers unnecessarily.

"Mmm… would you consider sharing them with me later?" He gave her a sultry look that made it hard for her to catch her breath.

"Absolutely not," she informed him sarcastically.

"Figures."

"Get your own chocolate supplier."


	11. Once is more than enough

_"True love may only come once in a lifetime_

_but it can come once,_

_and once is more than enough."_

_–Fawn Weaver._

Nev's warm hand was pressed against her back as she hurried into Three Broomsticks, the Scottish winter lingering into March this year. Stepping into the warmth, Pansy rubbed her hands together, wishing she hadn't forgotten her mittens in the greenhouse, but they were left on Nev's desk before they walked from the castle to the pub. It had been Nev's idea, spur of the moment, and she had enthusiastically agreed, promptly forgetting her gloves.

"NEV! YOU MADE IT!" came a loud voice near her ear. She startled, seeing Weasel headed their way with a dopey grin on his face.

"Happy Birthday, Ron!" said Nev, producing a gift from the pocket of his cloak. Pansy sent him a dark look.

"Traitor," she hissed under her breath. This had all the harbingers of a set up, and there was zero chance she was going to let him get away with it. Leaving her hood up, she glanced around the crowded pub. It was a little _too_ crowded for a random Tuesday in March, and there seemed to be an overabundance of gryffindorks and former DA members for it to be a coincidence. And also the large homemade banner proclaiming it Weasel's birthday.

"Who's your friend?" asked Ron with a wiggle of his eyebrows, turning to Pansy. "The elusive Aceso?" Pansy pulled back her hood and glared and him.

"Uggh! What did you bring her for?"

"Still right here, Weasley," she sighed. "Happy Birthday, by the way. I can see that age has not granted you wisdom, but I suppose there's hope for your children considering who you married."

"Really, Nev? I know Harry said you work together, but it's not like Parvati brought her."

"Ohhh, Parvati's here?" she looked around the room, spotting her friend. "I'll just leave you boys to yourselves." She flounced away with a final glare at Nev. He so owed her for this. He had to have known she wouldn't want to come, and this had been the first evening she had an empty ward in ages. His suggestion they escape the school for a little bit of time away had seemed too good to be true, and of course it was.

"What are you doing here?" asked Parvati as Pansy materialized at her side as soon as Lavender headed for the loo. Pansy was holding a fresh drink for her friend and a martini for herself. "I thought you had plans to shag the brains out of you-know-who?"

"He wanted to go for a walk and grab a bite at the pub first… it would seem I've been had."

"Sometimes I wonder what you see in him…"

"He's _really_ good in bed," Pansy joked. "But in all seriousness… he doesn't usually try and force crap like this on me. Weasel was just _thrilled_ I've crashed his birthday."

"He's probably already forgotten about you. He's been drinking all day. Besides, no one has seen you and drawn their wand yet."

"I haven't bumped into Granger yet."

"Hermione is all about unity and anti-discrimination. She should be the first to greet you with open arms."

"Mhmm…" snorted Pansy taking a drink. She watched Nev across the room talking with a few of his old buddies from the Aurors.

"So I take it Winky has the kids tonight?"

"Yes."

"And Nev doesn't know about the package that arrived via Owl Order yesterday."

"I've squeezed myself into hideously uncomfortable lingerie, and he has no idea."

"I told you to order a size up!"

"I know, but I figured he was going to rip them off the second he saw them and it wouldn't _really_ matter." Pansy frowned at her friend as she cackled into her drink. "We'll see how much you're laughing Patel, when I'm bragging about all the amazing sex I'm having and you still haven't worked up the nerve to ask out the Ruins professor you've been fantasizing about all year."

"I'm going to wait till the end of term… that way if he rejects me, I have all summer to recover."

"That man is not going to reject you. I've seen the way he watches you at dinner. Also you should stop licking your fingers so much. It's not only poor manners, but he's going to lose control of himself in front of the students some day."

"If he does, I will regret nothing."

"Well I'll be forced to give psychiatric counseling to half the younger years."

"Don't lie. You'll just obliviate them all and be done with it."

"Good idea…"

"Hi Parvati!" came a chipper voice as Hannah Abbot slipped into their booth with a returning Lavender.

"Hi Hannah," managed Parvati after she finished sputtering into her drink. "How are you?"

"Great thanks! I just saw Padma get here, and thought she was you!"

"Oh, Paddy's here?" Parvati looked across the room to see her sister hanging off the arm of her husband Anjou.

"What? You didn't divine that she would be coming?" drawled a sarcastic Pansy taking a long drink from her nearly empty martini glass.

"Har-de-har, you're so hilarious!" huffed Parvati with a grin before, picking up her drink and leaving the table to see her sister. "I'm going to go see Paddy, she acted like she wasn't coming." Lavender was out the booth behind her immediately.

"Don't leave me here!" pouted Pansy before sucking the olives from her martini off the stick and pouting into the empty glass.

"I'll keep you company," offered Hannah Abbot cheerfully, taking a drink of her wine.

Pansy looked over at her with her generous breasts pushed up on display over the low neckline of her tight red dress. Her golden hair was in a mass of perfect curls down her back, and her lips were pouty and red. Pansy felt especially dowdy in her work clothes, a boring blue sweater worn mostly for warmth and a knee length, high waist black pencil skirt and kitten heels. Nev fit right in with a snug grey sweater and pressed trousers, but most of the women were wearing dresses and showing a bit of cleavage. The sexiest thing about her outfit was her underwear, and that wasn't exactly on display.

"Ooor I could go get another martini," said Pansy getting up from the booth.

"Ohhh, me too!" exclaimed Abbot, sucking down the last of her wine. "So who are you here with?"

"I… er…"

"I didn't see you come in, and since I don't suppose Ron would have invited you… Not that you aren't… Well… It's not like you're friends."

"Nev dragged me along," Pansy said cutting her off and waving the barmaid over. "Another," she said putting some money on the bar. "Make that two, actually."

"You came with Neville?" clarified Hannah, setting down her drink and passing the empty glass across the bar.

"We _do_ work together."

"I suppose. I just never took you two for the type that would be friends."

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me, Abbott. Innumerous of which, I'm sure would surprise you," deadpanned Pansy taking the two martinis from the bartender and sipping out of each one before tenderly making her way back toward the booth.

"I guess! Well, I bet there is something you don't know about me!" exclaimed Hannah taking another sip of her drink.

"I can tell you're bursting to tell me," sighed Pansy, tucking a curl behind her ear and glancing across the room to see Nev, Harry, Ron, Dean, and Seamus doing firewhiskey shots amid some rambunctious cheering by a group of red headed bystanders mostly made up of Ron's brothers.

"I'm getting married!" exclaimed Hannah in a loud whisper.

"Ohh!" Pansy redirected her attention back to the glassy eyed Abbott. "Where _is_ Ernie?" she looked around for the sandy haired Hufflepuff. Maybe he could keep his fiancé company.

"You knew I've been seeing Ernie?" asked Hannah with a look of surprise.

"I mean… Nev and I talked about it, but I don't think he knew you and MacMillan were planning to get married so soon after the divorce finalized. It's only been a few weeks."

"You and Nev must be pretty close. I've only really told Susan about the divorce… and only because I want her to help me plan the wedding."

"Don't ask me to help plan anything. I don't do weddings, and I don't do plannings!"

"Of course not… But I would like if you came! You and Nev can come together, and it will be perfect since he won't be alone, and then it will seem like he's okay with it… you know… no hard feelings."

Pansy sighed and looked over at Nev across the room still playing a drinking game of some sort with all those gryffindors. "Hannah, I'm pretty sure Nev's been okay with it for a while. I mean, you and Ernie have been living together for some time, and the fact that Nev didn't protest? I know you probably think I'm only telling you this to sooth your Hufflepuff sense of wanting there to be peace in the world and goodwill toward all men… but really. Nev's happy for you and Ernie, and I think he's hoping the two of you will be happier together than… him and you."

"Gosh Pansy, when did you get so nice?" said Abbott, tears forming in her eyes as she wiped them away in an attempt to prevent her mascara from smearing. "It's really nice of you to pretend it's all okay with Neville, but I was married to the man for five years. There's no way he's going to be fine with this. And I feel so bad, but you're right. The hufflepuff in me just won't let me not invite him. He needs to be there… for the part of me that still loves him as a good friend."

"I'm not nice," she snapped back habitually.

"I know you guys are friends now, and so maybe you can help him through this."

"I'm serious, he's completely okay with you marrying Ernie, Hannah. I think he's hoping you and Ernie consider starting a family soon."

"Look… I was married to that man for five years and dated him for two. I can tell when Neville is feeling broken and unworthy. I know he's not okay with this yet, but I want him to come to terms with it eventually. Your friendship is still new, so… believe me when I say that his façade isn't fooling me," confided Hannah just slightly condescendingly for a hufflepuff.

Pansy observed the pitying look that Hannah was giving Nev, who was grinning goofishly as the boys played some sort of game involving Bertie Bots Beans that had them all laughing and grimacing in turn. Hannah's sorrow filled blue eyes turned back to her as if to say _look at the poor man_. That was the last straw. "Let's get a few things straight here, Puffball. First- Nev doesn't feel _sorry_ about your little affair or subsequent engagement to MacMillan. If he ever gave a rat's arse about it, that was quite some time ago. I'm not going to downplay the tragedy that is your failed marriage, but let's not pretend you were the loves of each other's lives here. Clearly your thing with MacMillan is much more compatible or you would have run back to Nev the second you worked your way through your grief, and let's not forget that Nev hasn't exactly been pounding on your door to take him back. And as for Nev sobbing over his tea and toast every morning at the thought of your eternal happiness with MacMillan, get over yourself! Nev's over there being irresponsible and laughing with those idiot friends of his, not even paying you a moment's attention! He's got a great job at Hogwarts that he loves, and he's clearly not crying in a corner over you."

"Then why has he looked over here at least ten times in the past five minutes?" asked Hannah, sounding a little confused but also a little bit superior.

Pansy scowled at the witch. "Because he's been looking at _ME_!" she hissed, leaning across the table and downing the last of her second martini. "He's giving me that stupid come here and watch me do something dumb look. Probably something like try a new Weasley prank as a dare. He doesn't even care that I wore horrendously uncomfortable sexy underwear tonight to surprise him… noooo… we had to come to a party and mingle with gryffindor's and his ex-wife who still seems to think he's obsessed with her! News flash! I've been banging your husband for _months_! Uggh!" Pansy sucked the olives off the stick and chewed them furiously, before reaching for her third martini.

"Wow…. So you and Nev? Wow!" gasped Hannah shaking her head and taking another drink of her butterbeer. A look of utter shock was plastered on her fine features. "I did sooo not see that coming. _You_ and Nev…" She tilted her head and looked at Pansy before frowning and shaking her head again.

"Why does everyone find that so unfathomable?" complained Pansy poking her stir stick in Hannah's face. "I mean… He's tall, he's built, he's got those gorgeous blue eyes, and the hair. And he smells like pine and fresh dirt, and I mean… you were married to him… you've seen the goods." Pansy waggled her eyebrows and giggled at Abbott's horrified face.

"Wow… you've got it.. bad. How long has this been going on?" asked an amused Abbott.

"Since he snogged me on the Express back from winter holidays fifth year. Walked right into my compartment, pressed me up against the window and snogged the sass right out of me. Wearing that _stupid_ sweater. But I suppose his Gryffindor guts have never been in question." Pansy sighed dreamily and stirred her martini, looking across the room at Nev who was currently clapping as Seamus Finnegan did an Irish jig on top of the bar as the rest of the men on that side of the room cheered him on.

" _WHAT!?"_ exclaimed Hannah. Pansy looked back at the hufflepuff.

"It's so unfair that your tits look so much better than mine," complained Pansy looking down at her breasts in her modest sweater. "Maybe if he had married that redheaded friend of yours… Susan… but you're practically a supermodel!"

"I'm confused!? You and Nev were together in fifth year?" laughed Abbott. "And you've been hung up on him since?"

"Merlin, keep up, Puffy. We got together fifth year. We didn't end things until…. Well Nev ended it really… The final battle was the end really…"

"Because you sided with the death eaters?" asked Abbott.

"Because I believe in self preservation! BECAUSE I'M NOT A GRYFFINDOR!" the last bit came out a little loud and a few of the aurors and their wives sitting at the next table over looked at them with confusion. "Uggh."

"Wow… wow! My mind is completely blown!"

"I was supposed to blow his mind tonight," pouted Pansy tossing back the last of her third martini.

"So do you think you'll come to my wedding?"

Pansy rolled her eyes and looked forcefully at Abbott. "Do you honestly think he would miss it? I mean he does love you… as a friend or… whatever… He's probably going to try and drag me to your little lovefest and probably try and convince me to have one of our own."

"Ohhh do you think you will get married!?" exclaimed a thrilled Hannah, clasping her hands together with glee.

"I'll let him have his way eventually. But I'll make him suffer, first." She said the last bit with a dark grin. 

"How very slytherin of you," commented Hannah watching as Pansy slumped onto her hand and propped up her hand and made doe eyes across the room at the Gryffindor boys who had settled into a game of cards.

"Accio Nev," giggled Pansy pointing her stir stick at Nev before turning back to Hannah. "How many more martinis until we can leave?"

"You know what… I'll be right back Pansy."

"Bring me another martini."

Hannah crossed the room and whispered into Neville's ear. She felt the curious eyes on her, speaking to her ex husband. She couldn't help but notice the way his eyes lit up as he looked across the room at Pansy, who had somehow materialized a fourth martini and was eating the olives first this time.

"Looks like you're right. I'd better go guys! Happy Birthday Ron. Pansy looks like she's about to pass out, and I was the one who dragged her here, so I'll just be getting her back to the castle." The boys laughed as Nev and Hannah crossed back to the booth where Pansy was giggling into her drink.

"Since _fifth year_ Neville?" asked Hannah quietly as they walked through the crowded pub. "It was always her… even when we were at our best."

"I'm sorry…"

"She was your Ernie… you just found her first."

"In my defense, I also hated her until about four months ago."

"Don't pretend you ever stopped loving her though."

"I'm sorry."

"It's funny, but I can kind of see how it works. You know it makes sense. And it's going to be so obvious she was Aceso."

"Yeah… she doesn't want to be a hero."

"You think? What happened at the final battle? That seems completely out of character for Aceso, even if it is very much Pansy Parkinson."

"It's complicated… She's complicated."

"You think?"

"Look, when you find out… don't hate me."

"I might be your ex-wife, but I don't hate you, Neville. You're still one of my best friends."

"Thanks," he laughed as they finally reached the table to find Pansy was near finished with her fourth martini.

"Nev!" she exclaimed, her violet eyes lighting up and a wide white grin spreading across her face, making her flushed face and tousled hair look even lovelier. "Can we leave now?" She stumbled to her feet. He put a steadying hand on her waist and plucked her cloak off the hook.

"Sure thing," he said settling the cloak on her shoulders and summoning his own from across the room.

"Ohh goodie… Did I tell you about the package I got via owl order yesterday?" she said, her voice dipping lower as Hannah burst into giggles on his other side.

"Hmm, no… was it something important?" he asked distractedly as he led her through the crowd as she stumbled a bit.

"Well… I'll have to show you… when we get back…" she answered mysteriously, waving goodbye to the Patel twins who were standing close to the door. "Bye Parvati! I'll tell you everything tomorrow over tea!"

* * *

She'd used the countercurses she had learned from Snape on the Patel twin. Since the curse that hit Padma wasn't nearly as dark as what Potter had used on Draco, she was relieved to find them more than effective. Despite that, she had still gone through three vials of blood replenishing potion and half a vial of dittany by the time Finnegan arrived with more.

"Neville wasn't kidding when he said you'd be right here!" he exclaimed in relief before pulling a hysterical Parvati further from her sister.

"She's going to have to recover in the Room. The Carrows aren't going to tolerate her back, and you had best disappear as well," muttered Pansy. "You'll have to change the bandages daily and apply more dittany. She'll be lucky to keep the arm, and I'm honestly not sure I managed to save her kidney. She's lucky to have two."

"Can we move her? Getting her out of the Charms corridor was hard enough, and I'm worried Professors Evil and Evil-her are going to wake soon. It doesn't take much to follow a blood trail," worried Finnegan.

"Yes, but not very far." Pansy looked down the corridor to see a painting of a long dead wizard looking at them. Hurrying over, she pressed both hands into the canvas, calling out with her soul and ignoring the disgruntled wizard's protests about getting blood all over his floors.

She was barely surprised when the canvas pushed back against her palms and Nev's head peaked from behind the frame.

"You rang?" he joked.

"How did you know to do that?!" exclaimed Finnegan.

"Just get the twins in there before someone comes along. It was worth a try to call the room. It comes and goes and does what is asked. I asked for it to create an entry here for this once. Hurry!"

By the time Padma had regained consciousness, it was nearly time for breakfast. Cleaning up, Pansy hoped no one would notice how tired she looked today.

"She shouldn't leave bed today," she ordered Nev and Parvati. "I'll try to get away to check up on her after lunch. Sips of broth if she can manage it. If she develops a fever, we'll have to risk getting her to Pomfrey. Just don't be seen."

* * *

"Mummy," called Dahlia from the table. "Do the forks go on the left or the right?"

"Left, darling," she called from the kitchen where she was finishing up the pasta she had made for dinner. She rarely cooked, but this was one of the five meals she did well.

"All done for the day!" came Nev's voice as he and Nico came in from the greenhouse. "Nico here helped me finish locking up the last of the greenhouses and setting the sprinklers.

"Great, wash up, dinner is almost ready," said Pansy, sprinkling cheese on the pasta before putting it back in the oven so the top layer of cheese could melt.

"Anything else I can do?" asked Dahlia, looking around Nev's large kitchen.

"Just wash up with your brother. Maybe you can turn off the wireless, so we can eat in peace."

Pansy turned back to the vegetables she was steaming, poking one with a fork. She was absorbed in determining if they were done when a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist and Nev's cold nose brushed against her cheek.

"You're very sexy when you get all domestic, love," he murmured, pressing a kiss to her neck. She elbowed him in the gut and pushed him away.

"Don't start things you can't finish, Longbottom," she hissed. "We're having a family dinner with the kids so they can get used to you. Not demonstrating how babies are made!"

"Oh for the love of Merlin," grumbled Nev, taking the basket of garlic bread from the counter. "Hot and cold, I tell you."

"Uncle Nev!" exclaimed Nico running into the kitchen. "You didn't tell me you had the sword of Gryffindor!"

"Have you been peeking in my library?" he asked with a conspiratorial smile.

"Only a little," confessed Nico. "But you have more books than mum!"

"Full disclosure, most of them came with the house, but a few of them are my own. I'll have to show you some of the more interesting ones after dinner. I have a book about dragons, I think you might like."

"Wicked!"

"What about a flower book? I would like something about plants. Maybe something about the plants in Argentina!" put in Dahlia, basking in the attention from an adult male.

"Of course my little herbologist!" exclaimed Nev, tweaking one of Dahlia's dark curls. "I've the perfect book for you. We'll all pick a book after dinner, and we can play a game in the library. Professor Catermole has loaned me some of her muggle board games she uses in class. We might try one out."

Over dinner, the twins regaled Pansy and Nev of their latest adventure, spying on the fifth years studying for their OWLs. Apparently, their favorite classroom on the sixth floor had been commandeered by some Ravenclaws who were using it as a study space. Unfortunately, the fifth years didn't know about the hidden alcove above the statue of Morag the Miserable where the twins had made their fort years back. The twins and their friend Gregor were actively trying to evict their new neighbors, and had tried everything from stink bombs to whoopee cushions and mysterious chamber music.

"Why don't you just ask them to move?" asked Pansy. "They don't know about your fort, and I'm sure they would understand that can't be moved."

"Mum… you don't understand anything," sighed Dahlia. "There's no fun in that!"

"Besides, it's funny pulling pranks on them," laughed Nico.

Pansy and Nev shared a look. Apparently, the twins thought the game was more fun than the goal. She wondered if the ravenclaws were terribly annoyed.

"So long as no one gets hurt," conceded Pansy. "I don't like you antagonizing the students, but surely they know someone wants them to move?"

"I'm sure it's harmless," agreed Nev. "The Ravenclaw fifth years would have mentioned it if they were worried. I'm sure they would have reported it to the prefects."

"Hmm…" hummed Pansy finishing her meal. "Does anyone want more?" she asked, getting up and offering the last of the pasta bake before putting the leftovers away.

"We want to play games."

"I've got a great one called Clue. Professor Catermole said it's quite fun," suggested Nev as he pulled out his wand and cast a charm that sent the dirty dishes soaring to the sink where they began to self scrub.

Fifteen minutes later Nev was finishing reading the directions aloud as Pansy followed the directions shuffling cards for set up.

"I want to be Miss Scarlett!" exclaimed Dahlia, taking the red piece and putting it on the board.

"I'm going to be Colonel Mustard!" proclaimed Nico putting on a haughty accent in a falsely deep voice.

"I'll be Professor Plum," decided Neville, taking the purple piece.

"I guess I'll be Mr. Green," decided Pansy.

"NO, no, no!" laughed Dahlia. "You have to be a lady!"

"But green is my house color!" protested Pansy. "Besides, I don't mind. I can choose whatever piece I want."

"Green is kind of cool," agreed Dahlia.

"That's my little slytherin!" laughed Pansy.

"Hey now, I think Dahlia would do really well in Gryffindor, like me," objected Nev.

"Let's agree to disagree on that one, luv," she laughed, taking the dice and handing them to Dahlia. "Now, it looks like Miss Scarlett goes first."

"See, she's a Gryffindor!"

By the end of the game, which Dahlia surprisingly won, the four of them were all in good spirits. Pansy had to admit that Muggles came up with excellent ways to pass the time. She almost wished she could get a TV to work at Hogwarts. Draco and Astoria had one and it was very amusing.

"Alright, alright, we might as well go home and get to bed," said Pansy looking at the clock.

"But, Nev promised we could borrow books! Madame Prince never lets us borrow books from the library!"

"Ah, that's right! Let's see what I've got," said Nev, directing Dahlia to a shelf full of books on South American Herbology.

"Mum," said Nico, drawing Pansy attention. She had summoned the teapot from the kitchen and was settling in for a cup of tea.

"Yes, dear," she said, looking over to find her son looking at her funnily.

"Are you and Uncle Nev snogging?" he asked quietly. Pansy sputtered on her tea, looking at her nine year old with surprise.

"What gave you that idea?"

"It's just, a couple of the sixth years that hang out in greenhouse one sometimes are dating and that's how they look at each other. You know… how Uncle Nev looks at you."

"How does he look at me?" she laughed, her laughter a little high and nervous, causing Nev to look over at them momentarily before looking back to the books he was showing Dahlia.

"I don't know? Like… like you're made of chocolate and butterbeer. Like you're his favorite thing in the world."

"Well," said Pansy, not sure how she should address this. Having long ago decided she didn't like the idea of outright lying to her children she decided to confess. "Nev and I have been friends a long long time, and we realized a long time ago that we liked each other as more than friends. You might even call him my… boyfriend."

"Uggh… so you _are_ snogging!"

"Well no need to sound so disgusted. It's not like we're doing it in front of you right this second," huffed Pansy with feigned ire.

"Mum!" he whined loudly drawing the attention of his sister and Nev.

"You'll understand when you're older, dear," she sighed patting his arm. Nine was a little young to be anything other than grossed out by kissing.

She looked over at Dahlia who seemed to have the appearance of the cat who ate the canary. Pansy narrowed her eyes and took a sip of her tea before looking back at Nico. She wasn't sure, yet, but she had the feeling that this conversation had been orchestrated by her daughter. If that one wasn't destined for slytherin, Pansy was a hufflepuff.

Her suspicions were confirmed later that night when she tucked Dahlia in bed. She used her wand to refill the water glass on the bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed, braiding Lia's hair in two French braids to prevent it from tangling overnight.

"So do you think you and Uncle Nev will get married?" asked Lia, her violet eyes looking hopefully at Pansy.

"Nev's just gone through a divorce. I'm not sure he wants to jump right back into marriage just yet. We like each other quite a bit. He's a very good man, probably the best I've ever known. Completely selfless, devoted to the greater good, and kind. And I like him more than I probably should considering I've been burned before. But that doesn't mean he's going to marry me."

"Why not? He obviously likes you likes you. He wanted to surprise you for Valentine's day, and he gets along with me and Nico. We wouldn't mind if you got married, you know."

"There's… more to it than that," said Pansy thinking of the way Potter, Weasley, and Granger would look at Nev.

"If you got married, then Nico and I could maybe call him dad," Dahlia announced, causing Pansy to pause as she tied off the braid.

"I'm sure if we got married, he would like that. But I don't think that's necessarily going to happen. I don't want you getting your hopes up, luv."

"It… I…" Lia's face turned red as she tried to say what she wanted. Pansy understood instantly and wrapped her arms around her thin body, pulling her into her lap.

"I know, flower. I know." She murmured as Dahlia let out tears of disappointment. "I'm so sorry."

"I just want… He's really nice you know. And we really like him a lot. He's always willing to hang out with me and Nico, even if he isn't the best at quidditch like Uncle Draco, or really fashionable like Auntie Daphne."

"I think he really likes you guys too."


	12. Our souls know how to dance

_"Our lives may not have fit together,_

_but ohh did our souls know how to dance..."_

_~K. Towne Jr._

Start of Easter Holidays was always a bit chaotic. The anxiety of end of the year exams had already set in, and it was a false promise of relaxation. Once she was a prefect, it always seemed like none of the younger students had their trunks packed, and it always seemed to sneak up on you considering the teachers were cramming in as many midterm exams as possible beforehand. Some years, Pansy had felt the two week break was hardly worth the hassle of going home, but then she'd always enjoyed listening to the end of the pro-quidditch tournament on the wireless with her father. And if the Harpies were still playing, he always took her to the games.

This year, it had snuck up on her again, and she was more anxious than she had ever been during school. She looked over the trunks, ensuring the cats were both actually _in_ their carriers.

"Mum, we're only going to be gone two weeks," whined Nico.

"It isn't as if you can't summon Winky for anything we've forgotten," pointed out Dahlia.

"You're right, you're right," she laughed, patting the twins heads absent mindedly as she dug through her purse once again.

A knock on the door had the twins rushing off to open it while she measured out the floo powder.

"Uncle Nev!" Nico and Lia greeted Nev who had a leather satchel over his shoulder matching the leather jacket and boots he was wearing.

"What's all this?" asked Nev gesturing to the trunks piled in front of the fireplace.

"Our things!" she huffed. "Here, you are going to take the twins' suitcases."

"We're going to your mum's for two weeks, not two months," sighed Nev with a roll of his eyes.

"Ha, Ha, Longbottom," she snapped.

"It will be just fine," he murmured quietly, rubbing her arm comfortingly before bending to pick up the two cases. She wondered at the nauseated feeling in her stomach. They had decided that the holiday was the right time to spring the news on her mum and the twins that Nev was their father. She'd been a bundle of nerves since she had agreed.

"Hello mum," said Pansy, arriving first, setting her trunk and the cat carriers next to the fireplace before hugging her mother. Violet Parkinson looked as beautiful as ever, her dark curls pinned back elegantly, wearing her favorite purple short robes decorated in green embroidery.

"Pansy, you're much too thin!" scolded her mother before air kissing both cheeks. Nico floo-ed in first, followed by Dahlia. Both greeting their grandmother with hugs while Pansy directed Winky to take their things to the bedrooms and released the cats who sprang away with looks of cat-disgust at having been covered in soot.

Nev arrived last, ducking out of the fireplace that wasn't quite tall enough for his frame. Waving her wand, Pansy siphoned the soot off the five of them, including Violet due to the enthusiastic hugs.

"Mum, this is Neville Longbottom. Neville, this is my mother Violet Parkinson."

"Lovely to meet you, Madame," said Neville, reaching out and taking Violet's hand and lowering his lips to it in a proper pureblooded greeting.

"You didn't mention he was so dashing, Pansy," reprimanded Violet with a smile for Nev. "Or handsome."

"I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to get to know each other," Pansy said frowning as the twins dashed off to their playroom. Her mum allowed them to ride brooms, something they were decidedly not allowed to do at Hogwarts. What was more, she allowed them to do it in the ballroom where there were more than a few breakables. Her mum hurried into the hall after them, likely to order an elf to follow them.

"So this is where you grew up?" Nev said, setting the twins suitcases aside, and lifting his satchel over his head, shrugging out of his jacket.

"I'm sure you'll find it very fascinating," sighed Pansy as Nev walked over and examined a family picture of Pansy and her parents taken her sixth year. It was a good picture, she wondered if he noticed she wore the necklace he had given her in it.

"I find everything about you fascinating luv," he laughed, pulling her into his arms. "Don't be so nervous. It will be fine."

"Easy for you to say," she grumbled before he lifted her chin and pressed his mouth to hers in a reassuring kiss. She had just wrapped her arms around his neck to tangle her fingers in his hair when she heard a gasp from the door. Pulling apart, she turned to find her mother looking at them with shock.

"Pansy Juniper Parkinson!" exclaimed her mother in a somewhat shrill voice Pansy hadn't heard used in several years. "What is the meaning of this!?"

"Well, mum…"

"I thought you said you were in love with the twins' father!" admonished Violet, her voice taking on a tone of condemnation. Pansy felt a blush covering her face and at loss for words until Nev cleared his throat loudly.

"That'd be me," he said, his deep voice penetrating the embarrassment surrounding Pansy. She looked down as he took her hand in his, squeezing it.

"Ohh," whimpered a deflated Violet Parkinson. " _Oohh!"_

"Yes," interjected Pansy. "And we wanted to tell you and the twins over holiday."

"Hmmm," hummed Violet looking at the two of them, her face expressionless.

"Mum… say something," Pansy finally said after a long awkward silence that eventually became too much to bear.

"I can see where Nicolas gets his looks from," Violet finally said, a small smile on her features. "And probably his personality if your reputation during the war and as an auror are much to go by, Mr. Longbottom."

"It's Neville," corrected Nev with a bright red blush to match Pansy's. "And I would have to agree with your assessment." His statement was punctuated by a loud crash and the shattering of something fragile.

"Well that confirms it then, a Parkinson will finally make Gryffindor," announced Violet, waving her hand in a gesture of finality before laughing a somewhat wild cackle and walking out of the room, presumably to ensure that the children hadn't broken something irreparable.

"Not if he's a Longbottom first," Pansy heard Nev mutter under his breath. She decided not to address that bit and followed her mother, pulling her wand out. Surely they weren't injured five minutes into the visit.

Since her mother already knew, Pansy felt less pressure about telling the children. The dinner they had that night was enjoyable, and after desert, Violet gave her a significant look before claiming she needed a long bath before bed.

"Mum, the Kestrel's semifinal game might still be on the wireless if they haven't caught the snitch yet!" said Nico.

"Why don't we go into the den? We can play a game of snap and listen to the wireless," she agreed, filing out of the dining room toward the cozy den where there was a fire waiting and the wireless quietly announcing the play by play of the Wasps/Kestrels game.

Nev summoned a deck of cards and dealt them all a pile.

Pansy played distractedly, losing first. In the end it was Nev and Nico going back and forth, neither afraid of being burned when the cards exploded, perhaps because they knew she could heal them in a blink. The Wasps won just as Nico and Nev finished their game, Nico coming out the winner and doing a ridiculous little victory dance he couldn't have learned from anyone other than Draco. Pansy bit her lip to keep from laughing.

"How about some hot chocolate before bed?" she asked, summoning the tea set in the corner.

"Yes!" exclaimed both the twins, settling on the sofa excitedly.

Pansy poured them each steaming cups of chocolate, wishing her hand wasn't visibly trembling.

"You never let us have chocolate before bed," accused Dahlia after taking the first sip and looking at Pansy with a calculating stare.

"You're right… this is a special treat," Pansy agreed. "I wanted to talk to you guys about something important while you drink. I want you to listen first, and then you can ask questions."

"Ooooh, are you and Uncle Nev going to get married?!" asked a delighted sounding Dahlia.

"Lia," scolded Pansy. "What did I say about listening first?"

"Okay, mum," she sighed, blowing on her chocolate.

"But it is about Nev…" said Pansy stumbling over her words. "Uncle Nev… er… I wanted to talk about…"

"What your mother means to say is we aren't getting married right now, but I want to be more involved in your lives, because you're both very special to me," interjected Neville. Dahlia let out a pleased little squeal, and Pansy fidgeted. "That's why I wanted to spend the Holiday with the three of you."

"Uncle Nev only found out about the two of you this year," Pansy interrupted. "He and I have known each other a very long time, but I kept you two a secret from him."

"Why, though?" put in Nico, ever the impatient one.

"Well… because we had a fight. And I didn't want him to take you two away from me."

"Why would he do that!?" protested Nico, looking at Nev in horror. Pansy and Nev looked at each other with frowns. This wasn't going anything like they had planned.

"Well, because he's your father," Pansy finally confessed. "And he has just as much right to spend time with you as I do."

The twins looked from Pansy to Neville and then at each other, frown lines marring their little foreheads. Lia seemed to look from Neville to Nico and back again as if this was connecting something in her brain, which it probably was.

"Alright, I'll buy it," she finally said taking a drink out of her chocolate to punctuate her statement. "I guess this confirms Nico will be a gryffindork."

"IT DOES NOT!" protested a sputtering Nico. "I… I'll be a _cool_ gryfindor!"

"Hmm," hummed Lia in a perfect imitation of Violet Parkinson at her most skeptical. "Just like dad, I guess."

"She really takes after you," mumbled Nev, leaning closer to Pansy on the loveseat they were sharing.

"Don't… don't either of you have any questions?" Pansy ventured. The twins looked at each other in some sort of silent communication.

"Can dad tuck us in tonight?" Dahlia finally asked, speaking up for them as usual. She tended to be the brains behind any operations. Pansy wondered where this one was going.

"Yes… why don't you two go up, and Ne- your father will be up in a few minutes to say goodnight."

The twins hurried out of the room, Dahlia giving a backwards glance at the door as if to double check they were still there.

"Well… that could have gone better," sighed Pansy leaning back into the sofa.

"How did you think that was going to go?" asked Nev incredulously. "Luke, I am your father!" he wheezed making his voice deeper and breathing funnily.

"I don't know!" whined Pansy pulling at her hair. "Not… they didn't even hug me… they didn't… they asked you to tuck them in!"

"I thought that was more Lia wanting to corner me alone and get the whole story," Nev pointed out rationally.

"Ohh… gosh… you see right through her."

"Cause she's just like you, luv," he laughed, pressing a kiss to her forehead as he got up.

"So, what… what did they say?" asked Pansy when Nev finally arrived in her bedroom an hour later.

"Mm… well… our daughter was surprisingly emotional, and our son had a lot of questions about if I was going to do the right thing and marry you."

"I hope you told him no," snorted Pansy.

"I told him you would say that," Nev answered slipping out of his clothes.

"Dahlia wanted to know why you kept them a secret, and I gave her the quick run down of the war, and that you were scared that we would be hurt in battle, so you had to go, while I being the brave, but somewhat foolish Gryffindor fought without thought and that we argued over it. I told her that people that are fighting with each other have a hard time raising babies together, so it was easier for you to do things by yourself, and she said that seemed like something Mum might think."

"Did… did she say she was mad at me?"

"No, she said she was glad we had made up because she was lucky to have such a nice father around. And then she proceeded to tell me that I was obligated to stick around. For-ev-er."

"Mmm… that sounds like her," laughed Pansy.

"Nico told me, I hurt you again, and he's going to hurt me. He hasn't worked out how he's going to manage that one, but the words, 'I'll tell Uncle Draco,' were said."

"Mmm… so all is good?" asked Pansy.

"Yeah, I tucked them in with hugs and kisses, and it was damn near perfect."

"Just _near_ perfect?" she asked teasingly.

"Meh… they wanted you to drop by too. Something about my warming charms on their feet being subpar?"

Pansy leapt out of bed and dashed to the door. "Be right back… I just want to tell them goodnight properly," she said before hurrying down the hall to get the most of the emotional tearful little hugs and kisses from her children.

* * *

Pansy watched Nev and the seventh year Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs as they sorted the twelve fifth years into lines on the other side of the room. The Room was cavernous and separated into three areas anymore. The beds and a bathroom were on the one side, while the middle remained open for practicing spells and dueling. The side where she was had tables set up where people could study and a large bookcase that always seemed to have the books you needed on its shelves. She had set up a study area for herself at the back of the room, away from the third years that were huddled around a study table and reviewing charms together.

She had conjured up a fluffy purple armchair for herself to keep comfortable and was keeping an eye on the potions she was brewing in the corner. She had five cauldrons going at once, a blood replenishing potion, a pain relief potion, calming draught, burn ointment base, and skelogro. Some of them took several days to mature, while a couple of them were ones she could harvest in a few hours. She had a complicated time sheet of when she needed to stir and add things as well as a timer set to remind her.

She usually tried to brew things over the weekend, when it was less obvious to her remaining slytherin housemates that she was gone for most of the day. Nev had let her borrow his favorite Tornadoes jersey, and she had her hair pulled back into a wild curly ponytail with her know-me-not charm marking her the elusive Aceso. No one was quite sure if she was a sixth or a seventh year, and the speculation ran that she was either a slytherin, a hufflepuff, or a ravenclaw, although, she had heard one of the younger years speculating she was Granger in disguise. She was careful never to wear her robes or uniform without removing the tell tale tie and crest.

"Hey Aceso!" called Padma from across the room. "We're going to teach the fifth years blasting spells. Want to help?"

"I'm bollocks at blasting spells, dropped Defense after scraping an A on my OWL," she informed the head girl who was always trying to convince her to participate in the impromptu lessons for the younger years. With nothing else to do in the Room, the students were spending a lot of time peer teaching.

"Surely you can cast a decent bombarda!" called back Patel as Nev started laughing. Pansy shot him a glare and turned her back on her year mates. He'd tried to teach her some of the stuff the D.A. learned over the years, and typically she usually only managed to almost get hit with his spells rebounding off walls while hers fizzled off into nothing. Nev liked to tease her that she couldn't hit a bludger with a blasting spell if he'd already hit it with a freezing spell.

"Just make sure you lot keep your spells on that side of the pillar, the last thing we need is for one of us to get hit with a rebounding spell!" she called back, watching as Corner put up barrier charm between the pillars, protecting her side of the room from any wayward spells.

"Give it up, she's absolute pants at offensive magic," she heard Nev tell Padma when Padma looked to come over and drag her to the lesson.

"I can't be better than you at _everything_ , Longbottom," she called across the room, sending Nev a look that told him he had better be quieter if he didn't want her to hear.

"How do you think he knows her again?" Pansy heard Padma whisper to her sister.

Pansy rolled her eyes as she listened to the head girl start going on loudly about blasting curses. Waving her wand, she cast a silencing charm on the invisible barrier between the two rooms, quieting the Head Girl's voice. She nodded to the third years who smiled to her in gratitude and slipped her wand away. Pulling open her bag, she decided to take a break from studying for her charms NEWT and read an old issue of Witch Weekly she'd found stuffed in the bottom of her trunk. There were some pretty advanced beauty charms in there she could read up on that practically counted as studying.

Three quarters of an hour later, she had just finishing stirring the calming drought and settled back into her chair to finish up the article on hair removal charms. She thought the magazine had been a bit lax in not publishing the reversal spell, but it was making for an interesting read. She turned the page and read the headline of the next article when she heard a strong shout of "Bombarda!"

Her head snapped up to see a fifth year had stumbled through the barrier during the practice session, his blasting spell shooting off from his wand before rebounding off the invisible wall. Shooting to her feet, Pansy watched in horror as the spell made a direct collision with one of her cauldrons. The first explosion sounded with a bang.

"PROTEGO!" she screamed, holding out her hands in front of her, a last resort to try and protect herself the nearby third years from what she knew would be an explosive potions disaster.

The bright blue flash that accompanied her spell was nearly blinding, the blue light streaming from her palms to envelope the corner of the room where her cauldrons were with shimmering blue light that twinkled.

The explosion from the cauldrons was near instantaneous, the first one exploded, dropping into the others and causing them to detonate like a series of bombs. The shield charm couldn't protect their ears, and the four resounding booms were deafening. Pansy closed her eyes as the bright blue green potions exploded toward her shield.

The mixture hit the shield with a loud crack, but the blue globe of light held. Small explosions within the globe continued for several minutes as the residents of the Room of Requirement watched in horror as the potion detonation turned colors and banged about before eventually fizzing down and smoking out.

Pansy stood still, arms outstretched, trembling but holding the spell for the long minutes while the third years behind her held their breath and the seventh years rushed from the other side of the room.

"I think it's done," said the Headgirl finally. "If you take down the shield, I'll vanish the fumes and the melted cauldrons." Pansy dropped her arms with a sigh of relief, taking a stumbling step back and curling her hands to her chest.

She watched in a daze as the ravenclaw seventh years vanished the mess, her hard work, and the five melted cauldrons. She'd never melted a single cauldron before, let alone five.

"Junie?" she felt Nev's hand at the small of her back and his questioning voice in her ear. She turned to look at him to find his blue eyes looking at her with concern. "You okay?"

"I…" She started to nod, but hissed in pain as his hand snapped out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her hand out for inspection. Looking down she felt lightheaded seeing the second degree burns on her hands. She could feel them, which was a good indication that they weren't full thickness burns.

"Come on, where's the burn ointment?" Nev grabbed her bag and led her to the bathroom where they soaked her hands in cold water before he applied the burn ointment while she sobbed wishing she had some pain relief potion.

"Wrap them. It will hurt, but I'll have to keep them wrapped at least overnight. They will heal faster." She sat on the countertop while he wrapped them, biting her lip to prevent crying out. He was gentle, just like he was with his plants, his tender care making her weep just as much as the pain.

"You probably prevented a complete disaster," he said quietly, looking up at her with those piercing blue eyes of his as he gently ran his hand over the sensitive skin of her wrist.

"Self preservation and all that," she scoffed, looking away, catching her reflection in the mirror.

"True, true. But a wandless shield charm that completely contained the explosion. Pretty impressive love."

"I _am_ pretty impressive," she flirted, the burn ointment starting to help a little with the pain.

"I was scared for a moment there, you know."

"Me too," she whispered, cradling her bandaged hands close to her chest.

"Are you okay?" asked Patel, coming into the room, causing Nev to step away from her.

"I will be," said Pansy. "I won't be able to brew anything in here safely. We can't risk anymore accidents. And you had better talk to the students about being more careful. Can you imagine if that spell had hit a person!?"

"Of course. I'll let everyone know. You're absolutely right. And I don't care if you're pants at offensive magic. That shield charm was one of the most impressive bits of wandless magic I've ever seen." Pansy felt herself turning red, and looked to Nev who was smirking at her. Sometimes she wondered just how close he and Draco were on a Black family tree.

* * *

Pansy adjusted the strap of her gown and handed Nev her cloak. The floor length dress she revealed had a Grecian flare with the simple draping and the single beaded strap over her left shoulder holding it up. Besides the matching blue beading on the strap and the waistband beneath her breasts, the dress was rather plain, the deep blue satin rippling like waves in the ocean.

"I'm nervous," she confessed, slipping her wand into the long silver bag at her wrist.

"You look absolutely beautiful," whispered Nev after handing their cloaks to the elf at the coat check before leading her into the high ceilinged ballroom. With his warm hand on her back to steady her, Pansy felt confident enough to place a smirk on her face as they entered the brightly lit room. She focused her eyes on the reception table where the seat numbers were available.

She scanned the ivory place cards displayed, looking for her name among the cards, trying to ignore how many people that absolutely loathed her had been invited.

"Found us," announced Nev, snatching a card from the table. "Mmm… of course we're right up front," he gave Pansy a rueful smile. She about balked then and there, but watching him plod on courageously left her with nothing to do but follow his lead. She quickened her steps to catch up with his long stride, ignoring any of the more curious looks that followed her as she made her way across the room.

"Of course she couldn't put you at the back where we could be conveniently forgotten," sighed Pansy when they reached one of the five tables closest to the head table where the wedding party was to sit.

"Of course not, she doesn't think like that. In her mind, me being front and center is the perfect place for me. Right where everyone can see how amicable I am about this whole thing," sighed Nev.

"Well, she'll have to sit in a back corner next to the bathroom at _our_ wedding," muttered Pansy darkly.

"So you'll concede to a wedding, then?" Nev quirked a brow and smirked.

"I meant _hypothetical_ wedding. Don't get any ideas, Longbottom."

"I've got your mother and the twins on my side now. You're the one who needs to start getting used to the idea, Parkinson," he shot back, causing her cross her arms and look away.

"Make yourself useful, and go get me something to drink," she huffed, ignoring the way her temper only seemed to fuel his amusement.

"Be right back, my queen," he whispered dramatically, a stupid shit eating grin on his face as he headed off in search of champagne.

Pansy claimed two seats at the table that faced toward the head table without having to twist in one's chair. Setting her bag on one seat and putting the name card with Nev's name on it above the other. She was just turning to look for Nev when she saw Weasley approaching with Granger, although she supposed it wasn't _really_ Granger anymore.

"What do you suppose _she's_ doing here?" she heard Weasley ask his wife.

Pansy turned and pretended to continue scanning the room as if she hadn't heard Weasley's not so quiet observations.

"I'm guessing she came with Neville, they work together and I think they are friends," Pansy heard Hermione whisper back to Ron. "Be civil. It won't kill you, you know."

"But _she_ might," Weasley hissed back to his wife as they arrived at the table. Pansy refused to let her shoulders droop, of course they would be sitting at the same table. Turning to face them after an unsuccessful search for Nev, she forced a polite smile on her face.

"Hello," she said in greeting. She had made a vow with herself to try and be friendly with Nev's friends. She needed to make an effort or Nev would forever be stuck in the middle.

"Parkinson," Hermione inclined her head and smiled tightly before pulling back the chair across the table, farthest from Pansy.

"I think the bar is over there," she addressed Weasley who hadn't seated himself yet and seemed to be at a loss for something to do. He simply glared at her, so she decided to clarify. "I'm sure Hermione would like something to drink." The frowning redhead looked to his wife who nodded. He stalked away leaving Hermione and Pansy in an awkward silence.

"I hope there's at least good champagne," Pansy said to fill the silence. The fact that the company left something to be desired was left unsaid.

"Did you come with Neville?" asked Hermione, almost friendly.

"Yes, he's somewhere about. Hopefully he's getting us some appetizers," Pansy looked around, trying to hide her anxiety about being alone with her former classmate.

"If not, Ron will probably find some. He can usually be relied upon to find food at the first opportunity."

"Did someone say Ron likes food?" interjected Ginny Potter, arriving at the table with her messy haired husband in tow.

"That's an understatement," snorted her husband with a wry smile.

"Harry! Ginny!" exclaimed Hermione, jumping out of her chair to greet them with hugs. "Please tell me you're at our table," Pansy heard her murmur under her breath. Were gryffindors actually incapable of whispering without being overheard?

"Looks like we're sitting at table four as well!" announced Potter, draping his dress robes over the back of the chair next to Ron's place, leaving Ginny with the seat next to Neville's.

"Welcome to the display table," Pansy gestured to the eight person table.

"Display table?" scoffed Ginny with a snort.

"You know, the table where all of the important people to be seen are placed. The golden trio, the amicable ex husband who has no hard feelings, probably the minister of magic too." She gestured to the remaining seats left.

"Doesn't explain why you're here, Parkinson," snorted Ron Weasley arriving back with wine for him and his wife as well as a plate heaping with appetizers. What was taking Nev so long?

"Well, you're clearly only here for the food, Weasley," she pointed out, causing him to choke a bit on the large shrimp roll he had popped in his mouth. Pansy felt the corner of her mouth lift as Potter and his wife cracked smiles.

"She's got you pegged, Ron," laughed Potter tugging at the charcoal waistcoat he was wearing after shedding his robes. "Where's the bar? Ginny, what do you want, luv?"

"It's that way mate," announced Neville returning with a plate of appetizers, and four drinks levitating along beside him. Pansy snatched one of the martinis out of the air gratefully.

"Where was the firewhiskey?" demanded Ron around a mouthful of food. "All they had was wine!"

"At the bar in the corner," answered Nev, pointing to the far corner of the room where quite the line had formed. "The other bar is only serving wine and lager."

"Rookie mistake," laughed Potter. "Want me to grab something for you and Hermione?"

"I'll take whatever you're having mate, but make it a double."

Pansy took a grateful sip of her martini as Nev settled beside her, his hand coming to rest on her thigh beneath the table comfortably. He leaned in next to her, offering her the appetizers he had selected, and his breath had a smoky hint, confirming his drink to be firewhiskey. She had a feeling neither of them would be sober by the end of the night. Luckily they were staying at the hotel across the street for the night.

"Didn't see you at the ceremony, Nev," said Ginny Potter, her eyes taking on that soppy pitiful look reserved for ex husbands of the bride.

"That's because I wasn't there," answered Nev taking another sip of his firewhiskey.

"You were at the last one, I'm sure that's more than enough," grumbled Pansy. She had outright refused to attend the ceremony. She couldn't let his ex put him on display. It was one thing to attend the reception and put on a good show, but Pansy wasn't going to let him suffer through the pitying stares at the wedding as well.

"What's up, Gryffindorks!?" came a slightly drunk voice that Pansy recognized immediately.

"Draco!" she exclaimed, seeing him and Astoria arriving arm in arm. "I resent that!"

"Shouldn't have come with Longbottom, then," laughed Draco, settling into the seat next to her ignoring the deathly glare from Weasley.

"Hey Drake, what did you do, open a bottle of finest on your way here?" ask Nev, leaning close to her as he greeted Draco. The smoky scent of the firewhiskey mingling with his normal woodsy scent was especially attractive.

"I filled up a flask for you too, buddy," Draco pulled a golden flask and passed it across Pansy to Nev who took a drink before grinning.

"Damn, that's good stuff," laughed Nev boyishly. "Where are your kids tonight?"

"Nana and Baloo have them for the night," smirked Draco. "Tori and I are staying across the street tonight. Your mum have the twins, Pans?"

"Yeah, we've been staying at her place for Easter Holidays anyways."

"Ahh, and how is Granny Violet?"

"She hid over three hundred candy eggs in the manor for Easter. Nico rushed around like a maniac, but Dahlia outwitted him as usual, letting him find everything and then sneaking them into her pile while he was rushing off. He couldn't work out how they ended up with equal amounts of eggs when she never seemed to be off looking for long."

"Poor kid. I'm thankful every day you're the closest thing I ever had to a sister. Rina outwits Scor on a daily basis."

"That's because your son is just as impetuous as Nico," interjected Nev with a laugh.

"Don't be daft, Longbottom. So what kind of food do you think Hannah is going to have?"

"The good kind, obviously," joked Nev, causing Draco to snort into his drink.

"Here, trade me seats, so you two don't talk all over me," pouted Pansy, getting up and pushing Nev toward Draco. "Sit next to your boyfriend, Malfoy." Slipping into the seat next to She-Weasel, Pansy pretended not to notice Weasley and Potter snickering into their drinks.

Pansy focused on her drink while the conversations flowed around her. When the wedding party arrived, a rowdy crowd of hufflepuffs, everyone was on their feet to welcome the bride and groom.

By the time dinner appeared in front of them, the Potter and Weasley couples had relaxed enough with the Slytherins at their table to settle down into conversation. Draco, Astoria, Pansy, and Neville had a lively conversation about the most recent issue of Potions Quarterly.

Out of the corner of her eye, Pansy could tell that Granger wanted to join in. Instead, she roped Astoria into a conversation about law. Draco and Nev's conversation soon dissolved into a debate about the finer methods of collecting ingredients from herbology sources.

Pansy rolled her eyes and dug into her food. She finally understood Nev and Draco's friendship. It was entirely based on swottiness! She had never been one to be academic for the sake of academia, hence why she wasn't a researcher or a professor. She had always focused on practical magic, more concerned with the result than the theory behind it. She snorted into her drink when Draco whined that Nev wasn't even good at potions.

"They sound like my boys arguing about quidditch," She-Weasel commented quietly to Pansy.

"They sound like ravenclaws to me," murmured Pansy behind her drink. "I always told him he was too swotty for a Gryffindor."

"Nev? I guess you're right considering the professorship. I never would have saw him a professor. He always seemed so happy as an Auror."

"He's great at it. The students adore him. He's got that natural charisma and leadership. I'm sure you remember what it was like seventh year," Pansy defended softly.

"Well of course _I_ do Parkinson, the question is, why would _you_?" Weaselette narrowed her eyes at her.

" _Everyone_ knew Nev was the ringleader," laughed Pansy looking away from the intense brown gaze.

"So how old are your kids?" asked Ginny, causing Pansy to snap her eyes back to the redhead. "I mean, I couldn't help but overhear Draco asking you about them earlier.

"Dahlia and Nico?" asked Pansy weakly. She had every intention of evading She-Weasel's questions.

"Yes, twins, right?"

"Wise beyond their years those two. Dahlia is just like me, sneaky and manipulative. Nico isn't calculating, doesn't even think before he acts. Parvati jokes that they are like Ying and Yang."

"So you think your son is going to be in Gryffindor?"

"Zero doubt. And Lia's a Slytherin for sure," confessed Pansy. "And they'll spend all their time together in the greenhouses since they won't share a common room."

"Little gardeners? Is that how you and Neville became friends? The twins brought you together?"

"Spending time in the greenhouses certainly helped," Pansy gave a half truth. "And you might say the twins helped bring us back into each others lives. How about the Potter children? All gryffindors I presume?" Pansy decided a change in topic was in order.

"James and Albus, yes. Lily, it's too soon to tell," replied Ginny laughing.

Pansy kept up mild conversation with Ginny for a while, tossing back a third martini while Nev and Draco's conversation dissolved into quidditch and their grandmother's hats growing up.

Eventually the toasts, speeches, and dancing started up, freeing her from the table. She dragged Nev out onto the dance floor by his tie, laughing as he spun her around and around. Nev had always loved dancing, and even now, some nights he would turn on the wireless in greenhouse seven for a few songs. Her sappy Gryffindor was such a romantic at heart.

They were dancing to a fast paced swing number, when he passed her off to another couple in an exchange. Laughing she twirled into Draco's arms, letting him dip her and flip her in a move that they had done a time or two in the Slytherin common room at parties. Draco danced across the floor with her expertly before exchanging her back for his wife.

However, in the meantime, Tori had been passed off to Potter. Pansy's laughter died somewhat awkwardly when she found herself in Harry Potter's arms and the song transformed into a slow number that had husbands and wives pulling each other close.

"Er…" Potter turned red and looked to see his wife and Nev dancing on the opposite side of the floor.

"Just dance me in their direction, Potter," she sighed. "If Nev isn't already on his way to rescue me."

"You and Neville are pretty close lately. The two of you left together at New Year's, and I saw he dragged you to Ron's birthday."

"What astute powers of observation you have, Auror Potter," she simpered sarcastically.

"Look, Neville's already had one relationship turn sour, and not that I'm not happy for Hannah, but… Don't mess Neville around. He's a good guy, and he doesn't play any games."

"So this is the, don't hurt him or I'll hurt you speech?" asked Pansy, cocking an eyebrow.

"Err… yeah, basically," Harry scratched the back of his neck.

"Better work a bit on that one before your daughter gets older. Not very intimidating for an Auror," Pansy smirked at him. "But what you should be really worried about is Nev breaking _my_ heart. My son threatened Nev with everything he had."

"Ahh, what was that?" Potter gave her a skeptical look.

"Threatened to tell Draco," laughed Pansy. "I don't have the heart to tell Nico that Drake's a big fat coward."

"You're the closest thing Draco has to a sister, he might stand up for you," countered Potter.

"No… I'm the only one that's ever stood up for me. Draco knows I can take care of myself," Pansy looked right into Potter's eyes. "Although the point is moot considering…"

"Yeah, poor Neville. You think he'll ever get over his first great love?" asked Potter looking over at Neville with those pity filled green eyes.

"Good Merlin, I hope not," laughed Pansy absently, catching Nev's eye over Potter's shoulder as he turned them a bit mechanically. No wonder Ginny had wanted to dance with Nev. Nev gave her a wink and blew a kiss wiggling his eyebrows at her over Ginny's head. Pansy bit her lip to keep from laughing again. He was really adorable when he was tipsy.

"You really are a bitch, Parkinson," huffed Potter, causing her to look back into his hard green eyes.

"Hmmm, if you say so," she hummed with a secret smile. "Auror Potter."

Harry deposited her at their table shortly after, and she summoned some cake from the cake table, a piece of chocolate for her, vanilla for Nev. "Don't even think about trying to lure Harry away from my sister, they're devoted to each other," Weasley interrupted her thoughts as he arrived with two pieces of cake, likely both for himself.

"As if," scoffed Pansy. "Potter's nearly as insufferable as you. I mean, I could stand him for a dance, but… no. Uggh… I have a very distinctive type, and Potter doesn't fit the mold."

"What, inbred idiots with a little extra weight around the middle?" asked Weasley.

"My type definitely isn't you either, Weasley," she chortled. "Merlin, you walked right into that one. What I mean to say… is… I've fallen in love exactly one time in my life, and I've never fallen out despite some of my best efforts… I'm not interested in your precious brother in law."

"So you're just having one on Neville. He likes you… I can tell," accused Ron, pointing his fork at her.

"Nev knows the status quo, and I don't think it's really any of your business who I shag when I go home tonight. So bugger off Weasley."

"Does not play well with others. I'm adding it to my list of why you're completely unsuitable for Neville."

"You do that," she snapped. "And while you're at it, why don't you put down, pug faced, death eater slut with children for baggage. You can put it all in an article in the Daily Prophet, just to make sure everyone gets the memo!" Getting up she snatched her clutch off the table and headed out of the ballroom. Nev could find her at the hotel.

Nev found her slumped in front of their room twenty minutes later.

"Forget something?" he asked wagging the key.

"Weasley is an asshole," she pouted.

"Part of his charm," agreed Nev. "To be fair, you usually have to get on his bad side for a bit before he takes to you. I think that's how he and Hermione worked anyways."

"All your friends hate me," she said dropping her head in her hands.

"Draco doesn't hate you," he protested opening the door and pulling her to her feet.

"Draco doesn't count. He's my friend. I just loan him out to you for the hell of it."

"Oh, is that what you call it?"

"Yes, he's like a library book. You can check him out, but he belongs to me."

"Weasley warned me that you were still in love with Draco," chuckled Nev.

"Weasley has shit for brains," she laughed.

"That's why he married Hermione I think," agreed Nev. "So their children would have a fighting chance."

"I love it when you go all snarky on me," she giggled before sobering. "I'm sorry I didn't make a good impression on your friends. I really wanted to try tonight. Weasley just pushes my buttons, and Potter is a know it all."

"They grow on you. Besides, Ginny mentioned she enjoyed talking to you at dinner. I think you won her over."

"Well, that's at least something. She and I were friends before… you know… sorta."

"Well, you did manage to prevent her insides from melting."

"You think she ever told Potter about that? I mean, I was really relieved when I heard she could have children. I was never quite sure everything would turn out completely healed."

"I don't know if Ginny and Harry talk about the war. He certainly never told war stories when we were Aurors. Ron would… but that's different."

"I'm glad Ginny liked me at least. One down, the rest to go," she laughed, slipping into her pajamas.

"You know the only person who has to love you in this relationship is me, right?"

"You're so sweet sometimes," she laughed throwing herself on the fluffy duvet. "I love you too. Now get your arse over here and shag me. You owe me for being civil to your dreadful friends."

"Oi! I'm the one who had to attend my ex-wife's wedding. Don't I get a pity shag or something?!"

"Hate to break it to you love, every shag's a charity shag when you look like that," she teased while biting back a smirk as he growled and dragged her into his arms.

"I'll show you charity," he laughed into her neck.


	13. The greater is our love

_"We cannot love unless we have accepted forgiveness,_

_and the deeper our experience of forgiveness is,_

_the greater is our love."_

_~Paul Tillich_

Over the next month, the population of the Room of Requirement grew exponentially, so much so that the already decimated Hogwarts population dwindled away to nearly nothing. Pansy had even delivered a pair of slytherin half bloods who had been severely tortured to Nev under the cover of darkness. Almost all the remaining seventh years outside of slytherin house were gone, and making eye contact with Tracy during potions proved she wasn't the only one terrified. She had a cauldron of blood replenishing potion constantly brewing in the girl's toilets on the second floor, and surprisingly no one had asked about it.

Her stolen moments with Nev were fewer and farther between. Draco was increasingly worried about his mother being offed in a fit of rage by the Dark Lord, and she was pretty sure classes had turned into a joke as most the teachers had stopped teaching curriculums and mostly lectured on defense spells that could be used if attacked.

Pansy herself continued to fly under the radar, but she knew her father was receiving more pressure from the death eaters to join their cause. They could probably use an experienced healer.

The end of term was only six weeks away, if she could just manage to make it through NEWTs. They started next week, and she hadn't studied nearly at all between healing half the DA, and her stress over Nev. She was so stressed she'd missed her period.

Hurrying into the girls toilets, she knew she needed to bottle her most recent batch of blood replenishing potion. Entering the third stall, she nearly fell over from the smell, gasping and gagging into her sleeve. She had always hated the smell of blood replenishing potion, but this batch had to have gone bad. She bottled it anyways. Gagging the whole time. She might be able to convince Slughorn to look it over, let her know what had gone wrong. Her wards indicated it hadn't been tampered with.

Twenty minutes later, the bottles were rattling in her bag when she entered his classroom, happy to find him alone and working on a potion.

"Hi Professor," she said in greeting before gagging once more, having caught a whiff of his potion.

"Are you alright Miss Parkinson?"

"What are you brewing?!" she exclaimed, backing away from the bubbling cauldron.

"Madame Pomfrey needed some extra blood replenishing potion. This batch is nearly done."

Pansy swallowed thickly, wondering that perhaps her brew had turned out just as well as Slughorn's. Perhaps the potion wasn't the problem, she worried.

Twenty minutes later, her worries were confirmed. They had been so careful. A war wasn't a very good time to start a family. It didn't make sense, but pregnancy detection spells weren't exactly difficult. What was she going to tell Nev?

She went to bed that night with a heavy heart, and her dream didn't help things. She woke in tears, sweating heavily, the image of a faceless man lying in a casket before the lid closed and was covered with dirt. She pretended she didn't know what Tracy was talking about the next morning when she asked if she was okay.

Pansy was once again dressed up and headed to a party full of gryffindors. She supposed it was to be the new norm if she was going to be with Nev. He was pressuring her to make their relationship public. He wanted them to spend the summer together with the twins on an herbology expedition in the Pacific. He didn't want to have to lie to his friends as to why she and her children were going too.

"Let's just tell them tonight," he sighed straightening his tie for the eighth time.

"I told you I didn't want to tell them at Hannah's wedding and overshadow her day. If we tell them today, it's the anniversary of the day I shouted out to turn The-Boy-Who-Lived over to the Dark Lord. I don't think this is the place or time. I'm still doubtful they won't turn me out at the door, being a slytherin and considering everything."

"Firstly, you'll be there as my date, and anyone who says anything will have to answer to me," Nev reminded her. "Secondly, it's Remembrance Day, and you lost one of your parents in the Battle. And don't forget what side he was on! The ex-minister sends you a personally signed invitation every year!"

"And I promptly use it to light the fireplace."

"Junie…" Nev shook his head exasperated.

"I don't feel well," she protested. "Look how pale I am! And I was sick yesterday!"

"That's because you're always pale, luv. And we both know you were only sick because you drank that outdated pumpkin juice."

"I'm telling you, I've drank outdated pumpkin juice hundreds of times. It wasn't the pumpkin juice!"

"Mhm…" Nev cocked a skeptical eyebrow. "Look, you look absolutely gorgeous. Everyone is going to be green with jealousy that you're on my arm tonight. And I'll make it up to you tonight. Your mum has the kids tonight, and I'll have you screaming my name so loud they can hear it in the dungeons."

"Well aren't you the exhibitionist," she demurred, flouncing past him, her purple dress billowing behind her. He snagged her around the waist and pulled her to him, kissing her deeply.

"I would be if my girlfriend would allow me to go public with our relationship," he growled pulling away.

"That settles it… we'll go public when we're ninety three," she decided.

"JUNIE!" exclaimed an exasperated Nev.

"Oh give it a rest, Longbottom. Can we just get through this miserable day?" she complained.

"Yeah, we'd better get to the ministry," he said looking at the face of his gold pocketwatch before tucking it back into the pocket of his navy dress robes.

They were flooing to the Ministry. Nev went first, which was helpful when he was able to catch her as she stumbled out of the fireplace. She siphoned off any soot with her wand, and they proceeded through the atrium toward the lifts. There were dozens of witches and wizards wearing their finest queuing up to the ball.

Pansy recognized many of them, and unfortunately, quite a few of them recognized her. Of course everyone recognized Nev, but it was the hushed whispers about her that put a rosy blush on her cheeks. She fidgeted with a loose string on the sleeve of his robes as they fell into line, looking ahead and refusing to acknowledge the murmurs, she plastered a pleasant expression on her face.

"Neville! Pansy!" came voice from behind them. Turning, Pansy and Neville were greeted with the sight of Augusta Longbottom pushing her way through the queue, the stuffed vulture on her hat bobbing with her quick steps.

"Hi Gran," said Neville taking her arm as she clearly intended him to.

"Hi Augusta," said Pansy, happy to see a familiar face. "Your robes are such a lovely color!" The pale blue really was nice with her silver hair and blue eyes.

"Thank you dear, my you look nice on my grandson's arm. And I rather like that hair comb. I had one just like it once," Augusta said with a cat that caught the canary grin. "Harfang gave it to me for graduation, terribly expensive but he was sentimental about us having been gryffindors together."

"This old thing?" asked Pansy with a forced laugh patting her updo. "My daughter's name is Dahlia, a friend thought it suited me."

"You simply have to bring your children to visit this summer. A boy and a girl, right?" asked Augusta with a look to Neville for confirmation.

"Of course," Pansy answered genuinely.

"Oh look, there's Muriel! I'll see the two of you later!" bubbled Augusta, waving at her older friend and dashing off rather spryly for a witch her age. Pansy couldn't help but notice that Muriel was much closer to the lifts. Perhaps Augusta was more cunning than Pansy gave her credit for.

Having never attended the Remembrance Day Ball, Pansy was a little overwhelmed entering the ministry's largest ballroom to find that the entire ceiling had been enchanted to mimic that of the Great Hall at Hogwarts. However, above them flashed photos of the lost, names of those passed much too young flashed across the night sky, the smiling faces looking down on them from above benignly. The tables were decorated in gold, bronze, silver, and black tablecloths, the decorations matching elegantly. Nev steered her toward a table too close to the front of the room for her liking. She bit her lip seeing Potter and Weasley already sitting together, their heads next to each other, red next to black in a way that was rather reminiscent of every class she had ever attended with the gryffindors.

It turned out she wasn't to have the chance to tell Neville. Late the next evening, before she had even the slightest chance to get him alone, Potter and his trusty sidekicks arrived. They looked thin and worn. She wondered if that was what the salvation of the wizarding world looked like they were all doomed. When the Dark Lord's voice boomed loudly to turn him over, she couldn't help herself. Self preservation had always been her priority, and now she had to look out for someone else as well. It didn't help that she knew their idiot father was hell bent on taking on each and every Death Eater accompanying the Dark Lord all by himself. She was thinking of all the injured students, members of the DA she considered her friends. Draco surely fighting his way to the front line to guard his mother and father's back. She knew Lucius and Narcissa were both wandless, having sacrificed their wands the Dark Lord and Draco. Someone was sure to die. Many someones. Her dream fresh in her mind, she had stood up in the middle of the great hall and did the bravest thing she'd ever done, only to be forever shamed for it.

She still winced at the thought of her words. "But he's there! Potter's right there! Someone grab him!" Her eyes had met Neville's, recently out of the Room of Requirement and looking deliciously handsome with his dark hair ruffled and his clothes fresh and clean. His eyes had been those of a stranger's… hard and furious- betrayed. His words from the year prior echoed in her head, but she knew this was one time she couldn't stand with him. She'd shrunk back from his gaze as hundreds of wands raised in her direction. Stepping back, she moved toward the only professor she knew would understand as McGonagall's voice rang out for Slughorn to escort the slytherins to their common room.

She'd hyperventilated through the majority of the battle and had eventually passed out… much to the amusement of her classmates who remained barricaded in the dungeons with her. It was only later that she would recognize the moment she passed out as the likely moment of her father's death. She had felt a pain rip through her so sharply she had been sure Neville was dead. Peter Parkinson had been lost in the first hours of the morning, but his daughter didn't wake until after the battle.

Sometimes she wondered how she'd slept through it, but she could remember her mother flooing to the Slytherin Common room to collect her. Kingsley coming two days later to confirm what they had suspected. The funeral five days later, her father the exact image of the man in her dream, this time his face blurry from her tears.

Nev grinned and waved when they looked up to see him approaching. Weasley's face said it all, and over the low murmur of the crowd in the room she could distinctly hear his next comment. "What in Godric's name does Nev think he's doing bringing _her_? It's like she's _everywhere_ anymore. It's not like anyone actually _wants_ her here."

Pansy felt her feet dragging on the floor beneath her, but she could also feel Nev's strong hand at the small of her back. He'd been brave for her a hundred times. She had to prove to him she could do this. This was nothing compared to fighting the Dark Lord. She plastered a polite smile on her face and allowed Nev to seat her at the ten person table with Ron and Harry both giving her those speculative looks.

"Thank you," she murmured, focusing on Nev's blue eyes.

"I'll go get us something to drink," he announced to her dismay. "Martini?"

"Can you make it three?" she whispered, causing him to snort.

"Coming right up, Junebug," he chuckled before pivoting on his heel and heading to the bar. She bit back the desperate cry in her throat to call him back and not leave her here.

Glancing about, she ignored the glare from Weasley, and the wary look from Potter. Spotting Kings, she nearly bolted to her feet.

"My favorite flower!" he exclaimed as she entered his line of vision. "You finally came!"

"Hi, Uncle Kings," she said giving him a hug and kissing both his dark cheeks as he wrapped his arm around her in a bone crushing hug. "I've missed you."

"I'm glad someone will finally be here to collect your father's award," he said with a sad smile.

"Oh… just owl it to mum. I don't… I can't…"

"Really?" he asked sadly. "I suppose it's probably harder for you. How have you been love?"

"I…" she broke off, her throat clogging with the unfamiliar tears. She rarely cried, but it was always hideous.

"The loo is that way," Kings gave her shoulder a gentle pat in the right direction. She hurried to the loo, unwilling to break down in front of the crowd. She hadn't spoken to her father's best friend since his funeral. It brought it all back.

Slipping into the ladies, she leaned over the sink, the tears falling freely as soon as the door shut behind her. The sobs wrenched out of her painfully, her breath coming in gasps, snot clogging her nostrils. Glancing up in the mirror to see her mascara streaming down her face and her nose and lips puffy and red, she was assaulted once again with the knowledge that she was not a pretty crier.

The sound of the door creaking open had her fleeing into one of the stalls, leaning against the door and casting a muffling charm to prevent being overhead.

The terror at being caught sobbing in the bathroom like a soppy hufflepuff was what finally allowed her to pull herself together. She was just about done fixing her face when the smell hit her.

"Shit!" exclaimed a voice from near the sinks. "Damn injury has me dropping everything!"

"Uggh, what was that one?" asked a second voice.

"Blood replenishing potion. Healing staff said it should get me back on my broom faster."

"Well, looks like you'll need more. And how do you drink that? It smells like arsehole."

"You would know," the second voice joked cheerfully.

Pansy barely missed her gown and unfortunately missed the toilet. She could barely stop gagging long enough to open the stall door and vanish the spilled potion and the glass the other two had carelessly left under the sinks.

She sagged against the wall of the stall, her tears and subsequent vomiting attack having drained her emotionally and physically. Pansy tried to remember the last time blood replenishing potion had smelled that awful before she got lightheaded with the memory. She stumbled to the sink to rinse her mouth out before grabbing her wand loosely. Catching her eye in the mirror, she could see the terror, the knowledge without confirmation. Giving herself a determined look, she waved her wand, completely unsurprised with the result.

A few minutes later, she emerged from the loo, completely calm, her breathing and heart rate normalized. She'd fixed her makeup, and brushed her teeth.

She ignored the stares and whispers as she returned to her normal table. There were more people mingling throughout the room as it filled with guests. She pretended not to see or hear anything around her, focusing instead on the tall dark haired man in the navy robes with his back to her.

She was so focused on Nev, that she nearly missed it, the slight buzzing of a spell headed in her direction. The glint of light out of the corner of her eye. But a part of her had always been on high alert. She spun at the last minute, her left hand coming up without thought, the silent word in her head generating a brilliant flash of light that lit the entire room and drew the attention of every witch and wizard in the crowded ballroom.

The spell that had been headed for her ricocheted off the glowing blue shield and into Muriel Weasley who promptly transformed into a dog. A pug to be exact.

Pansy looked into the mixture of horror and amusement in the eyes of the man that cast the spell, ignoring the roaring laughter of the redhaired man beside him. _WEASLEY!_

Her left hand still outstretched, she pirouetted, the blue wall compacting. She snapped her fingers shut, the shield pushing toward Weasley in a rush of air hitting both him and his idiot brother, knocking them both ten feet back onto their arses. She felt the air rush out of her lungs hot and angry, her eyes narrowing at the two of them. Her wand was now clutched in her right hand, having found its way there at some point.

"Exp-" a muttered spelled behind her had her flicking her hand in irritation as she turned, the bright blue shield emerging blocking the spell before it could travel three feet and knocking back its caster. She cast a silent disarming spell as she spun, catching the offending wand as it sailed toward her hand.

Later, she was never sure if it was the shock of seeing that she had disarmed Potter, or the fact she wasn't expecting it, but the hand grabbing her wrist had her reacting violently, tossing back her elbow before spinning to knee her assailant in the bollocks. Moves she may or may not have perfected third year against the advances of a certain sixth year quidditch player.

"Fwuck Junie!" moaned Nev his grip on her wrist dropping as he bent over and clutched his bleeding nose.

"Nev!" she gasped. "Buggering hell!" She jabbed her wand in a silent Episkey biting her lip. "I'm so sorry, love. Shit! I'm sorry, Nev. I'm so sorry. Your poor face is going to bruise. I'm so sorry, luv." She siphoned the blood off his face, gently lifting his chin and examining her work. Pushing him into a nearby chair, she forced him to sit, running her thumb over his lip. She might have glanced it with her elbow on the way to his nose.

"Aseco!?" came a shrill voice from next to her, causing her to look up and find half the ballroom staring at her as if she might attack someone else (the grips on their wands made their thoughts pretty obvious), while the other half had their mouths hanging open.

Pansy looked to her right to see Padma Patel, her hands on her hips, a look of absolute shock and fury on her features.

"Go away, Patel!" she snapped.

"It was _you_!" exclaimed the woman. "I've seen a shield charm like that one other time in my life! Don't even try to deny it!"

"I…"

"I was there!" piped up a young man nearby. Pansy glanced over to recognize him as the idiot fifth year who had nearly killed half the children in the Room.

"Me too!" said a woman suddenly, Pansy thought she might have the eyes of that third year who had been so terror struck afterwards.

"Oh for Merlin's sake," she finally huffed, realizing there wasn't an escape. Snakes knew when they were cornered. "Yes… Fine… It was me. What's the big deal?" She turned back to Nev, scorgifying his robes.

"The _big deal_ is that you've earned an Order of Merlin," snapped Padma. "The _big deal_ is that you saved the lives of half the D.A. members in this room at one time or another. The _big deal_ , is that we've been thinking you were dead for years! The _big deal_ is that you're a bloody hero!"

"Nev knew I wasn't dead," Pansy pointed out with an incredulous look. An Order of Merlin…. She couldn't help but wonder what class.

"And Pomfrey confronted me back in '99, asking if it was you," muttered Nev shaking his head.

"Look, I wasn't a hero. I'm not brave, I hid behind a disguise. I did what anyone else would have done who had my knowledge of healing. Now, if you don't mind… I'm trying to assess Longbottom for injuries here."

"For what it's worth, thank you," whispered Patel.

"Your sister already claimed your life debt, so we're even, Padma," Pansy answered distractedly. "Although, if you could get everyone to stop staring so I can asses Nev for a concussion, it would be much appreciated."

"Nothing to see here! Just old friends reuniting! Look! Is that Victor Krum!?" Padma announced loudly, which was embarrassingly successful at deterring everyone's attention while they looked for the world famous seeker.

"Parkinson?" came a soft voice from her left this time. Looking up, Pansy rolled her eyes at the sight of She-Weasel. Or Potter now, to be fair.

"Your husband's wand," Pansy passed the spare wand to its owner's wife.

"Actually… I wanted to say thank you. My mediwitch… she said you must have been a genius," muttered Potter, her eyes full of tears. Of course she was a beautiful crier.

"Yes, yes, can't you see that Nev's hurt. I've probably actually knocked the last bit of sense out of him."

"I'm fine, luv," Nev finally protested. "Fit as a fiddle."

"Mhm… that's what you said the first day you came into the hospital wing and proceeded to insult me," she snapped, running her fingers through his hair while waving her wand in a diagnostic spell.

"Your tits look especially nice tonight," he said suddenly.

"Well, that confirms it," sighed Pansy, rubbing her temple. "Anyone have any brain bruise potion handy?"

"As Hogwarts Matron, aren't you practically required to carry it with you at all times?" came a cheerful voice from behind Pansy.

"Poppy!" she exclaimed. "I left it in my other bag!"

"Well, here's mine. Mr. Longbottom here has always been a frequent flier."

"Sweet Salzar, thank goodness he's never been much of a flier," muttered Pansy passing Nev the potion. It was only a slight concussion, but honestly…

The crowd dissipated while she and Pomfrey transfigured Muriel Weasley back into herself, much to the dismay of her two great nephews who were forced to listen to her scold them for the next twenty minutes until the food came out.

By the time the food arrived, Nev was mostly recovered if a little drowsy.

Their table had the Potters, Lovegood and company, Weasley, Granger, and one of Weasley's brothers and wife. The funny one.

After the dinner, desserts appeared, and the speeches began. Pansy tried to focus on her dessert for the first few, given by the Minister, then Granger, then McGonagall.

"Per tradition, every year, we have specifically remembered ten fallen heroes, and ten heroes among us. We use this day as a day to remember those who lost their lives making the world a better place for all magical people, and today we will be remembering ten of our fallen friends specifically, but in remembering them, we remember all of our lost loved ones in our hearts."

Pansy stared at her half eaten cake through blurry eyes as she listened to Dennis Creevy come to the podium and discuss one of his year mates, a young girl who died in Azkaban, a fate he didn't suffer because his family had gone into hiding at the direction of a close friend. Up next was an Auror she had never heard of, but who had been awarded an Order of Merlin second class for his efforts to protect muggle children in an attack on Brighton.

She was biting her lip to keep the tears from escaping when Kinglsey stepped up to the podium, his deep calming voice washing over her. He was her godfather, and it felt comforting. She didn't know how people went through this every year.

"The next fallen hero is a person who was very dear to me. I came to Hogwarts a very sheltered individual, and I'm not going to lie, my first night, I was missing my family terribly, feeling alone and out of place. I can still remember Peter Parkinson slipping into my four poster and asking me if I wanted to play a game of wizards chess before bed. He didn't make any comments about my red eyes, or say he missed his family too. He just slowly captured all my pieces before declaring victory and deciding it was time for bed. From that day, he was the best friend I've ever had. Quietly loyal and infuriatingly clever. We graduated Hogwarts together, and I went to the auror department while he pursued healing. He healed me more times on and off the job than I can ever say.

And when St. Mungo's came under attack from death eaters, Peter helped formed a coalition of healers that helped protect muggle born patient identities and provided care outside the hospital to muggleborns and half bloods too scared to come in for treatment. Peter not only helped provide care to the Muggleborn Underground Defiance Squadron, working closely with their leader and his former coworker Ted Tonks, but helped generate safehouses and networks out of the country for entire families, passing them through St. Mungo's Morgue and faking death certificates for hundreds of patients.

When the call came for the Battle of Hogwarts, I was at my home with Peter, playing a game of wizards chess. He was winning as usual. He stood up and followed me to the battle without hesitation, his first thought to his daughter at the school, and second thought to his ability to help heal the injured. At the battle, I don't believe I saw him cast a single offensive spell, simply moving from patient to patient, helping triage and heal those he could help. He was bent over a patient when a stray curse hit him. That patient, who he saved with his dying breath is here today, and has specifically requested to help present Peter's still unclaimed Order of Merlin, third class, which was posthumously awarded in 2000."

Lavender Brown-Flinch-Fletchey stepped up, her pretty face smiling, the low neckline of her gown displaying a horrifying collection of deep scars. "If my God-daughter Pansy would come claim this award that has been collecting dust here at the ministry. I've been waiting nine years to award it."

Pansy looked at Nev in horror, the tears streaming down her face sure to be hideous. He had handed her his handkerchief a few minutes ago. Weasley and Potter were giving her looks of shock, and Luna had an encouraging smile on her face.

She shook her head at Nev who stood up and went to the front to collect the award, shaking first Lavender, and then Kingsley's hands with a sad smile. "I know Pansy and Violet are honored that their loved one has been honored and remembered all these years. The Parkinson legacy has always been a proud one, and while they miss Peter, his love lives on their hearts. Thank you," said Neville in his humble way before hurrying off stage to slip an arm around a near hysterical Pansy who had completely hidden her face in the fabric to sob silently.

Pansy wasn't sure how many more fallen were discussed, but she was pretty sure it took Nev three calming charms to get her to stop crying. Looking around at least, she knew she wasn't the only one with blotchy skin and a red puffy nose. Molly Weasley had sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, and her son's name hadn't even been mentioned specifically.

Soon they were getting to the honorees that were in attendance. Neville had told her how he was honored every few years for his work with the D.A. and that Harry, Ron, or Hermione was specifically honored every year, this year being a Potter year particularly, which being the tenth anniversary of the Final Battle was understandable. However, there seemed to be a variety of people, including the founder of Potterwatch, Lee Jordan coming up to receive a commendation.

Pansy watched as Parvati, Padma, and Ginny came to the podium to announce the last honoree. She wondered if it was Nev, based on the way that he sat a little straighter in his chair as the D.A. members came to the podium. Padma stepped up to the podium.

"Our next honoree is someone who many of you haven't met. This person played a quiet role that went unnoticed by many, but was so critical, that many of us would not be here today if not for this person. The members of Dumbledore's Army that remained for seventh year have many memories, Ginny and Neville trying to steal the sword from Snape's office, freeing first years from detention, graffiti in the great hall. What we don't talk about much is the injuries we sustained while at Hogwarts. Not only was torture commonplace in detention, but the classroom as well. There were encounters with death eaters in those halls that we try to forget, but the scars remain. I was head girl, and was attacked by the Carrows one night while doing rounds with my sister. I would have died if not for this person.

I know you are all thinking, I must be talking of our beloved Madame Pomfrey, but unfortunately she was locked in her quarters at night, away from her potential patients. We students had to heal ourselves, and if any of you have ever taken a healing course at Hogwarts… well you know there isn't a healing course at Hogwarts."

Parvati stepped up and took over for Padma, looking right at Pansy who could feel her face red with heat. "Fortunately, Neville, our fearless leader knew someone. The first night we had a horrible injury it was Michael Corner who had been blasted down the stairs, breaking his leg and some ribs. We dragged him to the dungeon and Neville went for help because we couldn't seem to call Madame. He came back with a girl in a light blue dressing gown. I remember thinking, I don't know her but she seems familiar, classic signs of a know-me-not charm.

I had never seen healing like that before, let alone from a student. And that wasn't the last time she would help us. We came to call her Aceso, named for the goddess of healing. She was there when we needed her, rarely when we did not. She prevented a massive potions disaster in the Room of Requirement that would have likely killed half of us, and healed everything from life threatening injuries to minor scrapes and bruises."

Ginny stepped up and Pansy winced. "My survival of the war is one that is truly miraculous. Not even my husband or mother knows how close I came to death. I was attacked on night while eavesdropping on the Carrows, barely conscious when Aceso arrived to pour blood replenishing potion down my throat. There is a reason that this witch went on to become a world famous pediatric trauma healer. A later healer informed me just how lucky I was to be alive as well as to have children, because apparently my insides had been completely slashed to ribbons. Katie Wood brought in several healers who determined I am probably the only person to have survived that particular curse the entire war. And it was seen on more than one occasion at St. Mungo's.

She constantly smelled of blood replenishing potion and burn ointment, and her hands were soft and capable, her voice commanding and clipped. We knew these things about her, but not her name, her house, or her face. So it was with great surprise that we saw her here today, before us, a known stranger. If Pansy Parkinson, the Healer of Dumbledore's Army, will come here and accept the award that has been awaiting you for the past nine years, we would be honored to hand it to you. And also, Neville Longbottom, I cannot _believe_ you let all of us think she was dead. Just so you know Pansy, we remembered you ten years ago as one of the fallen, and again five years ago."

This time Nev didn't let her sit while he accepted the award. He pushed her to her feet, and she mechanically headed to the podium where Padma, Ginny, and finally Parvati each gave her a warm hug. Parvati's managed to shake her out of her shock, and she accepted the award, a silver medal on a silver chain. She had seen Nev's golden one, and she wondered if it was ironic that theirs reflected their house colors.

"Thank you," she said quietly into the microphone, her voice amplified across the large ballroom. "I obviously wasn't expecting this. Ummm… I suppose I should say I never intended to do any of those things. I blame it all on Nev. I wanted to run off to France after sixth year, self preservation and all that. But I can still hear Nev's voice saying, 'There's no running from this. The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. I refuse to do nothing, and you can stand beside me, or behind me, but you're going to have to stand with me on this one.' So I ended up taking the only stand I could, a secret one. One where I didn't have to declare a side, or fight any battles, or face any villains. So I stitched gashes, and brewed blood replenishing potion, and wrapped bandages. But when it came down to it, I didn't fight the final battle. I couldn't stand with all of you. And I don't really think I deserve this, but thank you."

She set the medal on the podium and turned tail only to be blocked by Parvati.

"We should probably blame him for why you turned tail and ran the night of the final battle too, though," she said, her voice picking up on the speaker. "I mean, if it wasn't for your reasons, you cannot honestly say you wouldn't have been dragging injured people to the infirmary with Pomfrey."

"Out of my way Patel," huffed Pansy.

"I didn't see any other pregnant women running into the battle," snapped Parvati crossing her arms. "In fact, I can't think of a single one."

"I can't believe you just gave Potter the satisfaction of knowing why I wanted to turn him over," muttered Pansy in Parvati's ear.

"Just accept the bloody award!"

Turning she pasted a large fake smile on her face, shooting a glare at a grinning Neville. She draped the medal around her neck and stomped off the stage, hating the fact she had basically been forced to accept an award she didn't deserve. Also, she had a feeling that a certain trio of Longbottoms in the back were going to be questioning the paternity of Pansy's children very shortly.

She sat down stiffly beside Nev who was looking at least a little guilty. "I thought you'd be happy," he whispered as McGonagall started her closing remarks.

"If I wanted to step forward, I could have done so years ago," she snapped. "Now everyone knows what a coward I am."

"Or that you're a hero!" he protested. "I really thought you'd be pleased to have your name cleared. I'm sorry, luv."

"Damn it Nev!" she hissed. "Maybe it was never about being a hero. I only ever did what I had to. Every decision I ever made was about survival, mine, yours, the others. That's not bravery or heroics, or anything. I never cast a single spell for one side or the other. I healed every single one of Draco's injuries too. And when it came down to it, I chose self preservation over all else. And I would do it again."

"Merlin's balls, Parkinson. Don't you know anything!? Being a hero isn't about if you want to be. Sometimes you just are. And if you did half the stuff they just said, you _are_. And like you told me last year, you wanted to turn me in to prevent bloodshed. And maybe you were right. Maybe you were onto something. After all, I followed your advice hours later," Potter interrupted her whisperings with Nev, clearly all of their table paying more attention to them than whatever McGonagall was saying.

"Did it appear that I was talking to you, Potter?" snapped Pansy. "Because I believe I was arguing with Nev, not you."

"Woah!" said Harry putting both hands up in surrender. "My bad."

"I just want to go home," she muttered sadly, feeling suddenly like crying.

"But you love dancing," protested Nev. "And there's going to be dancing, and music, and more dessert. The sad parts are over, and now we celebrate. I'll get you a martini."

"I can't drink martinis anymore," she said finally crying again, pulling out the still damp pocket square.

"Why not."

"Because you _suck_ at charms!" she spat back furiously. "I don't know why I trust you with _anything!_ "

"Okay, Junie, that's not really fair. And charms have nothing to do with any of this."

"It is! They do! You've trapped me! Just like you tricked me into coming to this! Like a stupid little bug."

"How have I trapped you?" Nev asked looking at his friends at the table for guidance who were all giving him looks of shock and caution. Hermione shaking her head wildly and waving her hand for him to stop.

"I already told you, you could have joint custody!" she sobbed getting to her feet. "I didn't think you would go this far!" She stuffed her father's medal in her bag and stalked toward the door, quickly weaving through the crowd that had began to get up and mingle. Familiar faces waved at her, some looking as if they were going to say hello or even thank you, but she brushed past, making it to the lifts in record time and pressing the down button with a quick jab. She didn't know why she had come tonight. This had all been a terrible mistake.

"Damn it!" exclaimed Nev, leaning over to untie his shoes that she had stuck to the floor so he couldn't follow her.

"Well…. That was enlightening," said Ginny with raised eyebrows. "You and Parkinson… when did that start?"

"Fifth year," muttered Nev between curses. She had done something to his laces.

"Dang, Longbottom. I didn't think you had it in you," cut in Ron. "So how did you hide your secret lovechild from your wife."

"Pansy didn't tell me about the twins until this year," confessed Nev finally freeing his feet from his shoes.

"Shit, that means you'll have two for Hogwarts before any of us!"

"I can do math, Weasley," snapped a frustrated Nev, as he realized she had managed to impede his socks as well. He was going to have to walk through the ministry barefoot.

"Well when do you think Parkinson is due with this one?" asked Ron with a smirk.

"What?"

"I mean… she seemed to think you knocked her up again on purpose. So… how long ago did you manage that?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" demanded Nev, running a hand through his hair as the implications of the entire conversation caught up with him.

"Yeah… I would maybe take the stairs… sometimes they are faster than the lifts…" suggested Hermione with a worried look.

"Like hell.. I'm taking a portkey down to the atrium," decided Nev. "Last time I let her run away from me pregnant, I didn't see her for nine years."

"Probably a good idea," agreed Ginny. "Also, probably a good idea to lead with the fact that you do in fact suck at charms."

"Charms… got it…" Nev waved his wand and cast a portkey charm on his fork before activating it. "Wish me luck."


	14. I could walk in my garden forever

_If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever._

_Alfred Lord Tennyson_

Pansy glided out of the elevator and stopped short.

"What are you doing here?" she whispered, the sound carrying through the large empty room of the atrium.

Barefoot on the cold marble floor of the atrium was a rather flushed looking Neville. She wondered how he had beat her to the exit level, especially because she suspected he would be much more short of breath if he had taken the stairs.

"I'm sorry," he said after a long moment of silence where she contemplated how cold his feet probably were. Her eyes snapped upward to meet his.

"I should have said this ten years ago, but I'm sorry. I knew you, I _know_ you. You are not the type of witch to do what you did without reason. Even if you hadn't been pregnant. You saw the avenue of least suffering and wanted that not just for yourself but for everyone there. I know your offer to turn over Harry wasn't malicious, or evil. But… I let myself be angry at you for it. I let pride and anger cloud my judgement when I should have been looking at things with love. I used it to drive a wedge between us, when I should have opened my arms to you and comforted you in a time you desperately needed me. And I will regret that forever. But I won't regret letting you walk away from me a second time."

"Okay then, let me pass."

"No, because I'm not letting you walk away from me again," insisted Nev, pulling her into his arms. "I love you, and I have regretted the way I pushed you out of my life when we were teenagers every day since."

She had found herself on the doorstep of the Longbottom townhouse a week later, wearing a black dress and fidgeting with the sleeves. The elf that had admitted her couldn't have known how upset Neville would be to see her.

"What the hell are you doing here Parkinson?" he demanded, his eyes red rimmed and haunted with the horrors of the war.

"We need to talk," she'd begged. "I want to explain."

"We're through. Something you made clear on the night of the battle."

"You aren't even going to hear me out are you?"

"No, there's nothing more to be said between us. We're over, and I don't need you slithering back here begging for forgiveness. I can't forgive you. You know how important that was. You don't care about anyone but yourself, and I can't love you. I don't love you anymore. You're a selfish witch Pansy Parkinson." She flinched at his proclamation he didn't love her anymore. A tiny part of her had hoped he might still hold the slightest spark of affection. His eyes were cold and dead. "I hope you rot in Azkaban. I deserve better than a bitch like you."

"Oh! Now you deserve better! Well maybe I deserve better as well. Better than some arsehole who is going to _selfishly_ get himself killed and leave me alone! How about that!? I heard Kingsley offered you a position as an Auror with Pothead, Weaselby and Granger. Just what you always bloody wanted! Well don't let me stand in the way of your suicide mission, Auror Longbottom! You think I'm selfish? I'll show you selfish! You're free to do as you please! I'll never darken your doorway again, you gormless tosser!"

He'd waved his wand about after that and informed her that he never wanted to see her face again, so they were finally in agreement. His declaration that they were over rang with truth as he grasped her by the shoulders and forcibly set her the doorstep before she could as much as beg forgiveness for her outburst… not that she would have anyways. She didn't regret not fighting the battle. There was a life inside her she was completely unwilling to endanger. A life more important than Neville, any of the D.A., or even herself. And selfishly she had it all to herself now.

She managed to apparate home before she collapsed in hysterical sobs. The following Monday, the report on those being called to trial at least proved Longbottom wrong on one account. She wasn't going to rot in Azkaban. She was in France three weeks later. A rented cottage by the sea until the healer training started.

"You deserve better than me, a somewhat bumbling herbology professor, and what I have to offer, but selfishly, I desperately want you. All to myself. Now, I didn't mean to… as you implied earlier, 'trap', you, and I am happy about that, if I correctly understood the meaning, but… Regardless of anything else, I love you completely and desperately. The years without you was like a decade without sunshine and color, a desolate greenhouse of wilted life. Please, love, let me show the world what my heart has known for years, I'm completely yours. With you the greenhouse of my life is in eternal springtime, promise me forever."

"Merlin, when you gryffindors get sappy, it's completely ridiculous," she muttered around her throat clogged with emotion, wiping away yet more tears. "You've turned me into a complete watering pot."

"Don't cry, love," he croaked, using the pads of his thumbs to wipe away her tears. "Just say you'll marry me."

"Nev, you're the love of my life, how I am supposed to say no?" she asked before he pressed his lips to hers in a hard claiming kiss.

"Say yes, I need to hear it," he murmured against her lips, his fingers pulling her to him in that desperate manner she loved so much.

"Yes," she whispered before his lips claimed hers again. She felt a cool metal slip over her finger and she looked down, breaking the kiss to find he had slipped a large oval amethyst ring on her finger, the band a delicate ivy wrapping around her finger. He pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed first her ring and then turned to kiss her palm.

"I've had it for years. I've been carrying it around for months. I was going to give it to you at graduation," he confessed as she slipped her hand over his slightly rough cheek, her touch tracing the familiar planes of his face.

"It's my favorite color," she mused lifting her hand to watch it reflect the light.

"It matches your eyes," he corrected lifting her chin to meet his intense gaze.

"You realize I would have said yes without a ring?" she asked.

"You might have said yes, but how would I have held you to it? There's a permanent sticking charm on that thing," he joked, his blue eyes twinkling.

"You're horrible at charms," she accused with a smirk.

"Yes, darling," he agreed, taking her by the arm and leading her back into the elevator. He pressed kisses to her neck as the doors closed and the lift took off. She was dazed by his kisses by the time the lift doors pinged open and he abruptly stood, straightening his robes and stepping off the elevator, reentering the crowded ballroom which had transformed into a full party, couples crowding the dance floor and groups gathered together laughing and drinking the finest spirits and eating succulent desserts.

Their reentry didn't go unnoticed, as they were shortly mobbed by several friends who Neville was quick to point out he needed his shoes so he could dance with his fiancé. As they returned to their table to retrieve his shoes she glared at him through narrowed violet eyes.

"If I didn't know better, I would say that was almost slytherin of you," she accused. "Bringing me back up here and announcing our engagement, parading me around with a ring on my finger."

"I learned from the best luv," he shot her a crooked grin and a wink as he tied his shoes.

"Everyone here is going to know within minutes!" she crossed her arms, and his eyes flew to her cleavage as it strained against the confines of the dress she was wearing.

"That was kind of the point," he smirked, that stupid Black family grin.

"If I wasn't so irritated with you, I might actually be impressed," she confessed as he pulled her into his arms and swept her into a waltz, his robes and her dress rippling together in perfect harmony with the music. "You're much better at underhanded tactics than you are at charms."

"I'll have to impress you later with my amazing bedroom skills," he whispered scandalously in her ear, causing her to blush and laugh.

"You might have to work hard on that front," she ribbed, wearing a smirk of her own.

"Don't worry. I'm sure if it was a NEWT subject, I would have earned an O," he joked, causing her to toss back her head with laughter as the dance finished and they ended the dance suddenly surrounded by his family.

"What's so funny?" asked Augusta, holding out a glass of champagne for Pansy who took it to be polite.

"Just discussing NEWTs," said Neville, taking the glass from Pansy's ring laden hand and draining it.

"It would seem congratulations are in order," Augusta motioned to the large purple stone adorning Pansy's hand.

"Ah, yes, she's finally agreed to be my bride, and I'll be holding her to it," smirked Nev, pulling her to his side as she blushed.

" _And_ a certain someone needs to pay up! I _told_ everyone she was your mistress!" exclaimed Aunt Enid appearing out of nowhere.

"Dear Merlin," muttered Pansy blushing and resisting the urge to slap Neville.

"Welcome to the family, dear," laughed Alice, pulling her in for a hug as she and Frank introduced themselves into the conversation, Frank reaching out to shake his son's hand with a grin. "You get used to it," she whispered in Pansy's ear.

"When will you be bringing my great grandchild over for an introduction," demanded Augusta, getting back to the most important matter at hand.

"Well, the twins are at Parkview for the evening," answered Pansy with a flush under Augusta's stern glare. "I'm sure tomorrow wouldn't be too soon."

"I suppose that will have to do," muttered the older woman, the glint in her eye showing how much she was looking forward to the occasion.

"Lunch at Longheath then," said Neville, panic in his voice as he steered Pansy out of the ring his family had boxed them into. "Junie here is exhausted, so we're going to be heading home, see you all tomorrow then."

"We can start wedding planning!" called Alice as Nev pulled her away toward the lifts.

"I thought you wanted to dance and show me off?" asked a bemused Pansy.

"I was wrong. I want you completely to myself and I hate the idea of sharing you. Especially with my family."

"We have three children, you're going to have to get used to it," she deadpanned putting a hand on her stomach in a small unconscious gesture.

"They don't count," he protested. "Come on, we'll go home and I'll help you out of that dress… and…"

"Well, you do make a nice argument," she conceded. "I would be hard put to resist."

"Is it weird to be planning your wedding with your husband's ex wife?" asked Pansy, flipping through the bridal magazine, the witch on the front disgustingly thin with no breasts to speak of.

"It would be weirder if you were planning it with Aunt Enid and Augusta, which is what I had to do," put in Hannah.

"Merlin, you're always so right," laughed Pansy, shoving another pastry in her mouth. The food at the leaky was so much better since Hannah took over.

"You have to fit into the dress!" exclaimed Parvati slapping Pansy's hand as she reached for another.

"I'm _hungry_ ," protested Pansy.

"You can't be hungry all the time!" scolded Parvati. "Two months and then you can eat all the pastry's and bon bons you like."

"Madame Malkin will alter my dress."

"But your figure is so lovely, don't let the stress get to you!"

"I hate to break it to you, but I don't think one pastry is going to ruin my figure for the wedding," protested Pansy.

"But that's your fifth one!"

"My advancing pregnancy is going to ruin my figure for the wedding," confessed Pansy, looking over at Hannah, hoping the announcement wouldn't hurt her new friend.

" _What?!_ " exclaimed the two girls together.

"I'll be nearly five months pregnant by the end of August," Pansy confided with a low whisper.

"Why aren't we moving the date up!? Surely we could arrange for just after Hogwarts Graduation!"

"We're leaving for Palau as soon as NEWTs finish up so that Neville can conduct some research there. It's time sensitive due to some rare bloom thats going to occur," answered Pansy. "Besides, we already have two children, it isn't as if we're trying to keep up appearances with a rushed wedding. The dragon's already flown off the reserve in this case."

"We're going to have to rethink everything!" protested Pavarti.

"Why? Because I'll be fat?" asked Pansy rubbing her stomach which was still flat, for now.

"No… just… I figured this was going to be a society wedding with everyone there."

"Oh, it will, Augusta and my mother are demanding it. We're just planning on scandalizing everyone. Besides, my breasts might actually stack up next to Hannah's if we wait."

"Well…. Actually…" Hannah blushed. "My dress might need adjusting leading up as well. Ernie and I are also expecting."

"That's wonderful!" exclaimed Pansy. "Neville will be thrilled for you!"

"We're keeping it quiet until I am a little farther along, but… in light of what you just… and… you know about…"

"Of course. Well, now that that's all out in the open, I want to use Dahlias, Pansies, Violets, Azaleas, Magnolias, Poppies, and Peonies. Absolutely no Roses."

When they returned, tanned and well rested from Palau, there were quite the exclamations over her pregnancy, which they hadn't announced to their families. The twins were rather put out not to be in on the secret but were easily appeased with the gifts from the Pacific from their parents. The twins had spent the Holiday with their Longbottom Grandparents, making up for lost time.

"I hope they were good for you," she said giving Alice a kiss on the cheek.

"Oh, the best. We had a wonderful time. Made all of us feel young again, especially great gran over there," she gestured to Augusta who was tightly hugging Neville. She was especially attached to the grandson she had raised and had nearly attacked them coming out of the floo.

"I'm glad. By Christmas we'll have his one in the mix. Maybe she won't pinch Nev's cheeks then," Pansy winced watching his gran coddle him as she fondly rubbed her belly in an unconscious gesture.

"Doubtful… and my, you are certainly pregnant. When are you due again?"

"November, I think," she answered still rubbing her stomach with a small smile. She hadn't exactly had time to get to the healer between the craziness of the end of the year and then getting their children wrangled to his parent's and their trip. Luckily, Palau had mostly been relaxing on the beach for her. She had done nothing but tan, relax in the ocean, and eat delicious food. Which she supposed was why she was so large. Her wedding dress would need _lots_ of alterations.

"Well, you're certainly a glowing picture of health," said Alice diplomatically avoiding calling a spade a spade, which in her case was calling her fat.

"Thank you," she sighed, rubbing her bump. "I honestly think I ate too much fruit in Palau, they would bring me platters of it every morning. And at night, the barbeque…"

"Who knows, maybe it's twins again!" laughed Alice.

"Don't even joke about that," frowned Pansy. "One set is plenty enough trouble. Isn't there some sort of saying about lightning only striking once?"

"I'm sure you're right, but they do run in your family. Weren't your mother and your grandmother twins?"

"Nev and I have our set. Besides, McGonagall is going to have us living in the Herbologist's cottage. I don't think there's enough room to expand our family that much."

"It's bigger than you think, luv," said Nev dropping in on their conversation. "I'm going to insist on at least three more."

"NEV!" she protested as he kissed her cheek and wrapped his arms around her. "I _told_ you…"

"And I'm telling you, if you bothered to poke around, the cottage is practically a mansion. There are six bedrooms and an entire living space that you've barely explored. It only looks small because it's attached to the massive greenhouses and sitting next to one of the largest castles in the northern hemisphere."

"We have to clean out the cottage for our use. I want to make sure it's done before the wedding," Pansy sighed. "Right now only one of the bedrooms isn't being used for storage, so we've got a lot to go through."

"Well, if you two decided to just retire from Hogwarts there is plenty of room here at the manor! Plus, there's really no reason you _need_ jobs. Money is not an issue, and Neville has perfectly suitable greenhouses here," suggested Augusta, once again pushing her live and work from home so she could spend every waking moment with them agenda. Pansy and Neville met gazes and he lightly shook is head in reassurance.

"Uggh, this is a complete disaster, we're never going to get through this mess. It's like every herbology professor for the last 100 years has used this as a dumping ground for their junk."

"We should toss it all in the room of requirement," suggested Neville. "The room of hidden things had a clean out during the final battle. There would be plenty of space."

"That's actually not a bad idea, Longbottom," she conceded. "I'll just leave you to it," she said, getting up and dusting the dirt off her robes.

"Woah, where are you off to?" he complained holding up a box of random junk.

"Dress fitting for the wedding, and then I'll meet you at the healer's at 4."

"Fine fine, I'll see you there," he said absently looking at the absolute mess that was just the first of the spare bedrooms. Luckily they hadn't found anything _growing_ yet. But there was quite a bit of old junk, and some potentially dangerous old potions ingredients. Draco was due over in a few to help sort them out, and potentially snitch some of the rarer finds in Pansy's opinion.

The dress fitting was depressing as the old witch tutted and frowned at every seam that needed letting out. Pansy rolled her eyes and tried to hold still with all the poking and prodding. It didn't really help that the baby was finally strong enough that their kicks were felt from the outside and he or she was being very active.

"Ta!" she called as she flooed to the healer's office. Arriving she signed in and filled out the requisite paperwork while waiting impatiently for Nev.

"Sorry I'm late, but Draco and I managed to clear out three bedrooms," he said hurrying in, out of breath with dust giving his hair the appearance it was greying.

"Good work. Find anything interesting?" she asked.

"Some old jewlery in one room, and quite the little potions storage in another. A family of bowtruckles in a third. Mostly junk though. The house elves helped me haul it away. They wanted some of the furniture actually."

"Wonderful. At least it won't be gathering dust if they are using it," she said, flicking her wand at his hair to clean it. She brushed off his shoulders with the quill she had used on the paperwork, causing him to sneeze.

"Was rather dusty," he agreed. "Luckily there weren't any boggarts."

"If you find one, I know they were looking for one to use with the third years for ages last year. Might as well save it," she suggested.

"Since I would rather not deal with one, that's for the best."

"Still Snape?" she asked with a wry grin.

"Not since seventh year," he laughed. "Merlin knows we grew up fast that year."

"I don't honestly want to know," she said with a shiver as the witch at the front desk called her name.

"No, that's impossible. I assure you," insisted Pansy in a rather high pitch.

"And _I_ am assuring you, _Healer Parkinson_ that you are indeed carrying twins. In fact the chances of having twins after having had twins before is actually higher."

"No, I'm having one baby this time," Pansy protested with a petulant whine.

"This is great!" exclaimed Neville grinning at the wand generated sonogram of the two tiny bodies.

"NO! IT IS NOT!" she insisted crossing her arms.

"I'll hire another elf," he said off hand as he reached a hand to touch the tiny face and his fingers slipped through the holographic image.

"We're going to need like five," she moaned. "Twins _again_. Is this my punishment for offering up Potter? Is this karma for something I said to Granger about her hair in third year? _Carrying on with a married man! Oh my Merlin! It is!_ This is my punishment for carrying on with a married man!"

"Probably," laughed Nev. "Or, for

getting together with a herbologist. We are rather good at planting seeds love."

"I _knew_ this was your fault _Longbottom_ ," she accused with narrowed eyes. "You are officially on diaper duty the first three months!"

"Whatever you say love," he laughed before looking to the healer again. "And they're both girls?"

"Perfectly healthy looking girls," agreed the healer.

"Thank Merlin for small favors, Nico was a nightmare as a toddler. Girls are definitely easier," sighed Pansy.

"Aren't you even the least bit excited, luv?" he asked.

"Yes," she sighed. "But one would have been so easy. You're never going to want to touch me again after seeing how big I get. And we're never going to sleep again."

"I figured _you_ were never going to let me touch _you_ again after this," laughed Nev.

"Digging your own grave here Nev," she raised her eyebrows at him. "Because now that you mention it…"

They waited after the wedding to tell everyone why the bride had blossomed quite so much. No sense in spoiling the surprise or overshadowing their big day. Besides, as Pansy walked toward him on the green lawn of Longheath Mannor, he couldn't help but enjoy the secret that hid behind her bouquet of Magnolias and Peonies. That's what they were planning to name the girls after all. What kind of herbologist would he be if his home wasn't full of flowers.

_fin_


End file.
